You've done the impossible, Deloitte, you've rendered us speechless.
Related Posts
Guy Would Rather Play Pickleball Than Spend One More Minute Working at Deloitte
Working at the Big 4 has gotten so bad that one auditor, Zane Navratil, decided […]
Deloitte Employees Enjoy Boozing, Checking Out Men in Uniform Thanks to G-20 Protesters
Protestors of this weekend’s G-20 Summit invaded Toronto this week which promoted some companies in the TO’s financial district to take extraordinary measures so that their employees wouldn’t be bothered by all the jobless ruffians.
Most shops just sent people home as a precautionary measure as protestors gathered throughout the week but some diehards are camping out, as FINS reports on StatPro North America’s office that is near the red zone that surrounds the Toronto Convention center:
Andrew Peddar, chief operating officer of StatPro North America, said that the firm wanted to ensure that its clients, which include asset managers and hedge funds, could be assured of uninterrupted service during the week.
The campout was the employees’ suggestion. That way, they’ll avoid potential disasters on the client front and also sidestep protestors.
“We have sleeping bags, lot of food and lots of liquid,” said Peddar. The axes? “In case we need to break out.”
Or chop off some ne’er do well’s arm, you know, whatever is necessary. Obviously these guys are overachieving, bedwetting amateurs that don’t recognize an opportunity when they see one.
Fortunately, Deloitte knew better and told all its employees to work from home starting Tuesday. Some used the unexpected time off to get enamored by the security, “Junaid Zia, a risk analyst at Deloitte, had most of the week off. When he left the office Monday night, he said he didn’t see any protestors, only a lot of policemen…’They should just do G-20 every year,’ he said.”
But at least one Big 4 veteran saw this as a perfect opportunity to do some weekday drinking:
[A] senior analyst at the office, took the opportunity to spend time riding his motorbike and watch soccer… “I went to a British bar for the England game, an Argentinian bar for an Argentina game, a German bar for a German game,” he said. “But I’ve been working.”
By Thursday, he was lying down at home, having injured his back. He declined to elaborate on how the injury happened.
Probably hurt it tracking that fantasy football team, no?
Deloitte Partners Get Some Pointers on What to Say Re: Bonuses, Compensation
As was mentioned on Tuesday, rumors around Deloitte’s compensation are starting to surface. This likely means partners are fielding questions from anxious employees about raise, bonuses and if they’re considering any part PwC’s new compensation structure. Of course, not everyone is comfortable discussing personal financial matters with Gen Y types, so TPTB have floated some talking points to the partners so they might reduce the number of awkward moments.
Question: What can we say to our people about this year’s compensation?
As we are in the process of closing our books for FY11 and completing our financial plan for FY12 over the next several weeks, we have not finalized the overall Deloitte or AERS compensation – both for [bonuses] and FY12 base compensation. Deloitte and all of the major audit, advisory, and consulting firms participate in Mercer and similar compensation surveys and use this information as a key benchmark for determining competitive compensation. We also continue to differentiate performance (and move AERS Advisory to a more incentive based pay mix). We do our best to be above the survey midpoint of the aggregate of our competitors’ with regard to compensation and make adjustments as necessary (as evidenced last year).
We will continue to implement our Rewards and Recognition program which is significant. We are confident that we will be rewarding our professionals in a way that recognizes their contribution and efforts over the past challenging year and the increasing performance expectations we all face looking forward. We also stay very abreast of what our competitors’ actions and claims are and, if appropriate, make adjustments based on factual information.
When speaking with your teams, please consider the following key points:
• We continue to monitor the marketplace and pay at or above market. The compensation scenarios we’re modeling will ensure that we maintain, and likely improve, our position relative to our competitors on a total cash basis this year.
• We are confident our [bonuses] will be at or above last year’s levels, which were the highest in the history of our organization.
• Our merit pool will provide for market based compensation for all of our professionals and appropriate pay differentiation on the basis of individual performance. Our people continue to tell us this is important to them, we owe it to them, and we will deliver on this commitment this year.
• We know that our people have worked extremely hard this year and we will do whatever it takes to ensure that they are rewarded accordingly. We have a number of options on the table but frankly we don’t have the year-end numbers in yet so it’s still too early to make those decisions.