The South

Here’s Something Stupid That an Alabama Man Said to an IRS Employee

Thomas Sitzler really wanted the IRS Contact Rep to remember what he had to say, so he insisted (s)he write it down: "I'm gonna make Waco, Oklahoma City and nine eleven (9/11) look like a fire drill. I have paid in over one point five million dollars ($1.5 million) in federal taxes while illegals reap […]

PwC Report Finds That Wildly Optimistic Projections for Visitors to the NASCAR Hall of Fame Basically Came Out of Thin Air

For some people, NASCAR is a big deal. So big that it, like other “sports,” deserves a hall of fame. The location of which is carefully chosen after a competition amongst cities who feel they are best suited to give the legends of the sport an appropriate and worthy grounds which to immortalize their seemingly noteworthy accomplishments. For NASCAR, this city was Charlotte, North Carolina. The Charlotte Regional Visitors Authority, who operates the Hall of Fame, predicted that the facility would be a monstrous success with 800,00 visitors coming to this shrine of southern boys behind steering wheels in its first year.

Things didn’t really turn out as planned with disappointing attendance and operating losses. Of course this ruffled a few feathers and they invited PwC to perform an “80-hour, monthlong audit” to see what’s what.

Among its findings: Projections for 800,000 visitors in the $200 million NASCAR museum’s first year of operation were based on bluster as much as anything. “Our limited analyses have not identified due diligence or studies supporting these projections,” the PwC report states. “Rather, we understand from our discussions with CRVA representatives that earlier, more modest attendance projections were revised as the competition between Charlotte, Atlanta, and Daytona intensified for the Hall of Fame. It is not clear what, if any, due diligence was conducted in support of these upward revisions.”

PwC report questions NASCAR Hall of Fame numbers [CBJ]

Area Man Who Probably Cut Out His Own Tongue, Allegedly Murdered His Neighbor, Adds Tax Evasion to Dubious Behavior

Great find by Joe Kristan who would have no problem jumping on the New York Post’s headline desk.

This could only happen in the South:

A murder suspect accused of cutting out his own tongue has been arrested for tax evasion.

The Mobile County District Attorney’s office says Michael Crocker and his wife, Donna, didn’t pay taxes on $1 million they earned from their waste burning plant in Mount Vernon.

[…]

Investigators learned about the tax evaision while investigating Crocker for the murder of Stephen O’Neal Perret. Perret was found shot to death in a work truck near his Citronelle home on August 17, 2007. Perret was Crocker’s neighbor and the plant manager at Vulcan Industrial Services, Crocker’s company.

One day after Perret’s funeral, Crocker called 911 and said someone cut out his tongue, but police believe Crocker cut out his own tongue.

Accused Tongue Cutter Arrested Again [WKRG via Tax Update Blog]

Official: You Can Blame the South for the Income Tax

As you may have heard, 150 years ago today Confederate forces attacked Fort Sumter which began the Civil War. This war turned out to be a pretty big deal as the Union victory effectively ended slavery. But what you may not be aware of is that it also led to the first income tax in our fair land.

From our friend and tax maven-cum-historian Joe Kristan (who somehow has time to post with less than a week to go in tax season):

The consequences of the war, surely unintended by the operators of this gun, included the end of slavery, a horrific death toll, and the first Federal income tax. While the tax was repealed after the war, the idea stayed alive; the federal income tax came back in 1913, and is still with us. So while you struggle with your 1040, save a word of “thanks” for General P.G.T. Beauregard and the rest of the Confederates who attacked Ft. Sumter.

Funny thing – lots of people in the South manage to have no tax liability so aside from LOSING THE WAR the whole thing is probably NBD.

Having ‘Funniest Accountant’ Contests Only Reinforces The Idea That Most Accountants Are Not Funny

Do you have nothing going on? Do you fancy yourself a funny accountant? Would you be comfortable getting up in front of a room full of strangers (presumably drunk) to prove it? Good news! You can now attempt to become the funniest accountant in all of Dixie.


But first you must conquer the Triangle, which shouldn’t be too hard if you stick to disparaging Triad jokes.

The 3rd annual shebang “The Triangle’s Funniest Accountant” was developed as a result of Accountants One’s Accountants Are Funny Too campaign to dispel with the stereotype of accountants being humorless, uptight dorks.

Which brings us to the point – how does having a “funniest accountant” contest dispel a stereotype? Does having a “Most Depressed HR Professional” contest dispel the notion that everyone that works in that capacity is popping anti-depressants to keep up that chipper attitude? Of course not. People like Braddock are either naturally deranged or have a drawer full of Prozac bottles handy to ensure that the sun is alway shining, this is a great company, so on and so forth.

Likewise, a slew of Seinfeld with killer 10-key skills getting on stage to tell Sarbanes-Oxley jokes only serves to remind us that this is a futile ruse that reminds everyone that the hilariously charming accountant on stage is indeed a rarity sight and that he or she has had the good luck to work with colleagues that serve as endless material.

Third Annual Search for the Triangle’s Funniest Accountant [Raleigh Downtowner]

Alabama Strives for the #1 Ranking in Obesity with Consideration of Tax on Gym Memberships

Yes, it’s true! Bama was number #2, according to the latest Robert Wood Johnson Foundation and the Trust for America’s Health ranking but with a little bit asinine tax policy, the Yellowhammer state could ascend to #1 spot.


Kiplinger has a slideshow that goes over some of the stranger (and desperate) measures some states are going to in order to close their budget gaps. Twenty-six states already tax bowling for crissakes! And now Michigan, Nevada, North Carolina and New Mexico are thinking about it too!

The ultimate, for us anyway, is the Alabama’s show of complete disdain for anyone considering to exert themselves in any manner, shape or form:

Later this year, Alabama will debate taxing gym memberships, a plan that could raise several million dollars a year in state revenue. A monthly membership would include the Yellowhammer State’s 4% sales tax.

You hear that? Several million dollars. Easily eaten by the costs associated with the 31% obesity rate. Sounds like a great plan.

10 Surprising Ways Your State May Tax You Next [Kiplinger via Bucks]

Lots of People in the South Have $0 Tax Liability

So those nonpayers you heard about throughout tax season? Proportionately, lots of them are in the south (don’t ask us why they used red/blue):


Purely by the numbers, California has the most with over six million taxpayers whose credits and deductions reduce their tax liability to zero. However, of the ten states that have the highest proportion of nonpayers, nine of them are in the south, including Texas and Florida, who have 4.2 and 3.4 million tax filers that had no tax liability respectively.

The total number of nonpayers in the south is approximately 13 million or 25% of the total 51 million, according tot he IRS’ data. So whatever the expression is that includes the combination of God loving the South and hating taxes, suddenly has more credence to it.

States Vary Widely in Number of Tax Filers with No Income Tax Liability [Tax Foundation]