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The AICPA Has Gone Full Doobie-Smoking, Conspiracy Theorist Wackjob

As some of you may know, I love a good conspiracy. I love getting lost in bizarre corners of YouTube populated with bad Movie Maker “documentaries” about government experiments gone awry, celebrity cloning programs, and CIA mind control. I draw the line at lizard people; lizard people are just stupid. Obviously I realize most of these are […]

A Not So Brief Word About the Going Concern Comment Section

Perhaps some of you have noticed that Mommy has had to put a couple of you in time out recently due to off topic, completely out of line and/or totally useless comments. I see how some of you could be upset by this considering we've been pretty lenient up until now but it's gotten completely […]

Serious Question: Why Did You Become an Accountant?

Forgive me but for the five years since I accidentally stumbled into the wild world of accounting, I've heard just about every complaint you can imagine. The hours suck. The work sucks. It steals your soul. They load you up on snacks and lock you in a dark office, starving you of Vitamin D and […]

New Accounting Club President Needs Help Trolling Peers, Firms

Need help working on your office etiquette or lack thereof? Trying to figure out how to hit on your colleague without getting dragged off to 12 weeks of sexual harassment training? We've got your back, just get in touch. I've just been elected Accounting Club President! Any suggestions on how to best troll my peers […]

Temporary Grant Thornton Tattoos Are the Worst Idea Ever

The last twelve months or so have been very good for the Purple Rose of Chicago. Let's recount a few highlights. They've been chasing dynamic clients around like fat kids chase ice cream trucks. Their solid work has been recognized by these dynamic clients. They were dismissed from a major shareholder lawsuit. At the behest […]

Free Advice for PwC’s Social Media Department

I have some concerns about PwC's social media practices. These concerns go way back, long before they followed and then unfollowed me on Twitter (pfft, I'm used to it) and it appears as though no one on the PwC social media team has had the guts to bring it up so I'm going to go […]

Memo to Congress: Cutting Funding for NPR Should Be NBD

The NPR funding debate is a litmus test of how serious Congress in general and Republicans in particular are about spending cuts. If Congress can’t even cut NPR it is a sign that deficits are here to stay and . . .dare I say it . . .tax hikes will be necessary. Or perhaps you don’t care that your children will be paying big chunks of their diminished incomes to the Chinese. [Martin Sullivan/Tax.com]

KPMG Silicon Valley Office Dangles “November Jeans Month” To Help Boost Poor Employee Survey Response Rate

Last week John Veihmeyer asked everyone at KPMG to share their thoughts on what the firm does well but also what the firm can do to improve its awesomeness.

Well, apparently some of you in the Silicon Valley office didn’t get the hint. Your pathetic response rate of 23% (as of this writing) has some people worried that you’re not taking this shit serious. In order to get you to spring into action, the office honchos have dangled two carrots in the form of five lucky ducks winning a $200 AMEX gift card but the big opportunity here is the possibility (albeit a longshot) for wearing denim EVERY SINGLE DAY in the month of November.

2010 Employee Work Environment Survey & Jeans Month!

INTERNAL USE ONLY

As you know, the 2010 Employee Work Environment Survey is underway and will run through Monday, October 25.

The Silicon Valley Office currently has a 23% response rate.

If you have not already responded, I encourage you to do so as your feedback helps us to identify our strengths and our weaknesses and provides us with ideas on how we can become an even better place to work and a higher performing organization.

On October 11, you received an e-mail from John Veihmeyer and Henry Keizer with personal login information to access the electronic survey. If you haven’t done so, please review that e-mail and access and complete the survey before October 25.

Please note that all participants’ responses will remain confidential, and will go directly to our external survey provider, Kenexa, for tabulation. Kenexa will not report aggregate scores for departments with less than 10 responses.

Remember that all employees who complete the survey have the opportunity to enter a drawing in which five randomly selected respondents will receive a $200 American Express gift card. The survey site will provide instructions to enter. The winner will be announced after October 25.

Last year, the Silicon Valley office’s survey response rate was 70%. In order to establish a wider range of views and suggestions, I’d like to set a goal of 80% this year. So we are giving you an added incentive to respond to the survey. If the Silicon Valley office receives an 80% response rate, then the month of November will be “Jeans Month” and you can wear jeans to the Silicon Valley Office every day next month.

Thank you for participating, and we will share results with you later this year.

So for those of you that are ruining it for everyone else, do you not recognize what is at stake here? Are you not interested in providing exquisite client service in the cool, comfort of denim for 30 straight days? Do you really want to be standing around the water cooler in khakis explaining to someone that you didn’t complete the survey? If so, we hope you can sleep well.