Scandal!

All Fat Guys Can Relate to Ex-BDO Puerto Rico Managing Partner Trying to Put On a Belt

Here’s a question to all my fellow overweight brethren: Is there anything worse than trying to put on a belt while wearing a dress shirt? If you’re like me, after you tuck in the shirt, you poof it out in the front, back, and sides so it doesn’t cling to your stomach and love handles, […]

BDO Puerto Rico Managing Partner Resigns After Indictment In Massive Corruption Scandal

The words “managing partner” and “corruption” used in the same sentence is never a good thing, as we found out in the KPMG/PCAOB information leak scandal. But while there was no scheme to steal confidential information from an audit regulator going on in Puerto Rico, there were allegations of money laundering, theft, and wire fraud […]

Strip Club Mogul Slash Tea Partier Sues the IRS For Targeting, Guaranteeing He Will Be Targeted

If you haven't heard of him, Selim "Sam" Zherka is just a regular ole business-owner and Tea Partier in New York who calls himself the "loudest voice" for the Tea Party in New York State. In 2008 he apparently got in trouble after he told a cop at City Hall "I pay your fu**ing salary. […]

What the IRS Can Learn From the TSA

Surely you've heard by now that the IRS has some 'splainin to do but despite this, they aren't doing much 'splainin and in fact are getting pretty good at dodging reasonable questions. The GOP witch hunt for the heads of every man, woman and dog responsible for all this drama might be a bit, er, […]

How One Emotionless CPA Completely Dominated The Penn State Press Conference

U.S. Steel CEO and vice chairman of the Penn State Board of Trustees John Surma spent last night in the hot seat, fielding angry questions from bitter Penn State fans-cum-journalists (read: second year J-schoolers) distraught by this whole scandal nonsense. You see, it fell on his shoulders to announce to the world that the trustees canned head coach Joe Paterno and university president Graham Spanier.

Why do we care? Surma got his BS in accounting from Penn State University in 1976 and started off his career at then Price Waterhouse. He is a member of the AICPA and sits on the Bank of New York Mellon’s board. Therefore, he’s a member of the club.

And he handled last night’s Penn State press conference like a gangster. Even when angry “journalists” attacked.

See? This is why you send a CPA into the lion’s den. An architect would have crumbled. An engineer may have cried. A doctor would have cowered in fear. But a CPA? Stone-faced and calm with zero emotion, just how a Board of Trustees vice chairman should be when announcing a beloved coach has been canned due to, er, questionable discretion. And of course, because CPAs aren’t real big on that whole interaction thing, they called Paterno on the phone to tell him the news. Not a sit down or even coffee, but a phone call.

Told you he was gangsta.

Here’s the video: