I know things have been kinda rough lately, Klynveldians. KPMG’s 2016 and 2017 Public Company Accounting Oversight Board inspection reports were brutally bad. The criminal trial starts today for one of your former audit partners who had a prominent role in the PCAOB inspection information-sharing scandal. The firm might lose longtime client General Electric. And […]
Quick shot of Lefty and @KPMG_US CEO John Veihmeyer on the set of @GCMorningDrive. Tune in now! pic.twitter.com/XRVDuReR8x — KPMG Mickelson (@MickelsonHat) November 15, 2013 Here is a far better shot of the close up: They won't let us embed the video here (admit it, you spent 2 full minutes clicking on the "play" button […]
Rough start for Lefty. Bogey on 3, double on 4. +3 thru 4. Let's turn this around! — KPMG Mickelson (@MickelsonHat) August 8, 2013
In today's there's no way we could completely mock this and feel good about ourselves news, Phil Mickelson and his hat did something awfully nice at last night's Monday Night Football game between the Chargers and Broncos, even if things didn't quite go as smashingly as the post-game press releases made it seem. You see, […]
His Leftyness turns 41 today, as one of the favorites of the U.S. Open and of course he’ll be rocking the KPMG lid. As fans of the links know, Phil seems to come apart at the seams at the Open, not unlike certain KPMG audits. Will this year be different?
Who knows! What we do know that today is Fill’s day of birth and we send him best wishes and best of luck in the Open. Wouldn’t that be a great send off for Tim Flynn? Not that Mick needs the added pressure.
Anyway, as is (what we imagine to be) tradition for the major tournaments, T Fly and John Veihmeyer are holed up in the executive conference room watching the tournament as the rest of you are probably trying to make heads or tails of the Next Level training.
ANYWAY, leave Phil some well wishes in the comments. Don’t worry, we won’t make mention of this again, unless something hat-related occurs.
As some of you know, the 2011 Masters kicks off today which means Phil Mickelson will attempt to defend his first KPMG major championship. PM is considered a slight favorite to win this year’s tournament (and to win a fourth sports jacket that closely resembles something that you could easily pick up at the Salvation Army).
Surprisingly that there hasn’t been an internal memo forwarded our way notifying everyone that certified Phil-KPMG caps could be worn for the next two days. Regardless, we’re sure that John Veihmeyer and Tim Flynn are holed up in the executive conference room at 345 Park, keeping tabs on Phil (he’s even after two) wearing their KPMG lids and passing chip n’ dips back and forth.
[caption id="attachment_15841" align="alignright" width="260" caption="Not thinking about Five Guys...Not thinking about Five Guys...Not thinking about Five Guys"][/caption]
As we briefly mentioned this morning, KPMG Poster Boy Phil Mickelson is only about 90% for this week’s PGA Championship because he’s been suffering from psoriatic arthritis for the last two months.
While this may have hampered his game in the last couple of tournaments, there’s been a far more serious development. Phil has gone vegetarian.
We can only imagine what kind of frenzy this development this has sent the KPMG Phil-handlers into. There’s no doubt in our minds that Omaha Steaks are the go to “FTW Phil!” gift that he receives before after every tournament he wins. But now what? This veggie thing is serious.
“I know this is crazy,” he said Tuesday. “For the last two months now, I’ve been a vegetarian. Can you believe that?”
This puts Mickelson in an awkward position. Not only is he a connoisseur of all things beef, but he is part of an ownership group that has purchased the rights for Five Guys burger and fries franchises in Orange County, Calif.
“The real test is driving by a Five Guys and not stopping,” he said. “I don’t know if I can do that yet, but we’ll see.”
Since it’s only been a couple of months, we doubt that Phil has gotten over the meat sweats yet but if he happens to pull out a victory in this last major, you can expect the big guy will be dumping those Five Guys franchises ASAP.
Mickelson a Strait shooter [Milwaukee Journal Sentinel]
Philip Alfred Mickelson was born 40 years ago on this blessed day (shares with 2Pac!) and we’re guessing it will be a busy one for the reigning owner of the World’s Ugliest sports jacket.
We imagine he kicked things off with 40 Krispy Kremes donuts for breakfast, followed by a little prep round for this week’s U.S. Open, Five Guys for lunch, maybe another practice round and wrap it up a nice dinner with the fam.
All the while, screening calls from Tim Flynn who desperately wants to wish Phil a happy 40th, good luck on his quest for the KPMG Grand Slam and to congratulate him for the umpteenth time on his third Masters Tournament victory.
It really is a big week for Phil/KPMG, as the U.S. Open has dogged PM for his entire career and a good performance this week (i.e. anything less than a win is unacceptable) could vault him over Tiger Woods who has other problems.
So send some Happy Birthday/good luck/Father’s Day/thanks-for-wearing-our-hat-for-$3-mil-a-year wishes to Phil below or just let him know what you think his chances are.
We just assumed that we had heard the last of the cubicle-side chats with KPMG’s leadership but lo and behold, this morning we find yet another convo with KPMG’s three amigos – T Fly, JVeih, Keizer Soze – sitting in the mailbag.
And yes, Phil comes up.
Okay, some thoughts –
In response to Inquisitor #1, Johnnie V. says “our goal is to make sure to not sell services into a company” but then qualifies by saying, “[Making] sure we’re bring the full suite of..services to help them deal with those issues and those problems.” In other words, there is a very fine line between hustling clients for more business and actually serving them to suit their needs.
Re: “Mid-market” – This can be summed up by saying: KPMG is having the most success winning smaller clients from the next tier firms.
And finally to the most important question – Inquisitor #3 thinks Phil is great and all but for the love of everything that is good and holy, are there any other plans to get the name out there? This Five Guys obsession has him worried.
Since Tim and Phil are BFFs, he’ll take this one…except he doesn’t say anything that really means anything. JVeih jumps in (no doubt give him the “WTF are you talking about?” look) to say that KPMG’s Mean Girls strategy is working and the firm is getting far more attention from CFOs than it was just one year ago. The rest of the Big 4 have plateaued and Phil has been instrumental in the glad-handing and back-slapping efforts.