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PwC Sustainability Partner Blames His Dull Job for Not Rocking “Green” Shoes

If you’re a sustainability professional, people might make the assumption that you are a tree hugger. A green weenie. A dirty hippie. A person who has as much need for a pair of wing tips or business appropriate pumps as a fully loaded H2. Well you can put those suspicions to bed my friends.

Above is PUMA CEO Jochen Zeitz along with a couple of guys from environmental consulting firm Trucost and PwC sustainability partner Alan McGill. As you can see, Mr. Zeitz and the Trucost boys opted for some “green” sneakers to go with their Brooks Brothers. Mr. McGill, on the other hand, is in the standard issue Allen Edmonds. The reason for not getting on board with the hip skids? He’s lame:

The firm’s sustainability partner jokingly suggested his job was too dull to warrant a jazzy pair of sneakers.

Sceptic Tank reports that a PwC spokeswoman clarified the meaning of “dull” to be “PwC can’t be seen to be promoting their clients products in any way.” Which probably also explains why McGill wore a tie as well. Can’t be too careful about these things.

PwC and the fashion faux pas [The Sceptic Tank]

Grant Thornton Survey: Celebrities’ Acceptance of Infidelity Carrying Over to the Plebs

In Northern Ireland, anyway. Yes, if you’re moseying around Belfast and catch your spouse in an intimate embrace with someone who isn’t you, your heart may be broken but that doesn’t mean you’re going to divorce their cheating ass. Why, you ask? Well, you see, celebrities, being the model global citizens that they are, seem understand that marriage doesn’t really mean that you can’t have sex with other people, even if you haven’t expressed a desire to do so and regular Joes and Janes are starting to think that should be their attitude as well.

The UK Press Association reports, “one of the reasons for the shift may be the growing number of high profile celebrities that have publicly accepted their partner being unfaithful, according to consultancy and accountancy firm Grant Thornton, which carried out the matrimonial survey.” Yes Grant Thornton, fresh off their new ad campaign, is finding time to weigh in on marriage trends, although they readily admit they’re really just taking a stab at this:

Sally Longworth, partner at Grant Thornton’s Forensic and Investigations services practice, said: “The shift in the reasons for divorce is difficult to explain, although one potential influence could be the rise in the number of celebrities that are very publicly accepting their spouse’s infidelities.

Seems that GT is hard up for work in N.I.

[via UKPA]

Pastor Withheld Communion Because ‘It’s a Spiritual Thing,’ Not Because Members Kept Their Tax Refunds for Themselves

There are demons in his flock!

Pastor Calls Flock Devils, Demons: MyFoxHOUSTON.com

[via

Will a Former PwC Employee’s Superhero Aspirations Lead to Trouble?

As we’ve discussed, some farewell emails can be morbidly melodramatic while others are a bitter “good riddance” that makes you pity the poor bastards that will hear your former colleague’s cynical musings.

The latest Big 4 sendoff comes courtesy of PwC and we only share it with you because, well, we don’t know what to make of our hero’s crime fighting dreams.

Friends,

It is with a great mixture of emotions that I leave the firm today. As many of you know, I never imagined myself as a mild-mannered accountant. I always thought that there was a greater destiny out there for me, a tale of wonder and adventure, a story mostr careful consideration and consultation with my closest companions, I’ve decided to leave PwC in order to become a costumed vigilante of the night.

It wasn’t an easy decision; declaring war on crime never is. There will be some hard nights ahead of me as I craft the tools necessary to take back this city. Intense martial arts training and an iron-clad will might not be enough, but it’s all we got. Where evil lurks in the hearts of men, where innocents are lost and forgotten, where citizens call out for a savior, I will be there. Rest easy, Baltimore, your avenging knight has arrived.

I am vengeance. I am the night. I. AM. BATMAN.

[Bruce Wayne]
[brucewayne]@gmail.com

P.S. Could everyone do me a solid and keep my new secret identity to themselves? It’ll make avenging the weak a lot easier if super-villains aren’t bugging me at my new job all the time. Thanks.

Okaaay, so lots to discuss here. For starters, the lack of originality is dreadful. Batman is TAKEN you DOLT. Secondly, Batman is a scientist; you’ve got an accounting degree. Unless you’ve been whipping out a engineering/chemistry/physics set in your cubicle testing gadgets, we’re pretty sure a cap gun will be more effective than anything you’ll be strapped with. Thirdly, this is BALTIMORE we’re talking about. We’ve only spent a little bit of time there but if The Wire is as realistic as its creators say it is, this dude will last all of two seconds. Now, it’s possible that this could be a comic nerd trying to give his friends a laugh on his way out the door but what if we are dealing with another Phoenix Jones?

So if our hero is serious, we’re guessing you can count on a future report from the local Baltimore news detailing the injuries suffered by the masked avenger/former accountant.

Area Man Pretty Sure the IRS Audited Him Because He Reported $23 Worth of Veggies on His Tax Return

How he came to this odd conclusion isn’t clear.

Donald Dunklee, a Richfield Township, Michigan, resident, says the sale of $23 worth of vegetables from his garden was enough to trigger an IRS audit.

“I understand the needs of the IRS to keep the honest people honest so to speak, but this seems like overkill to me,” Dunklee tells Michigan television news provider WEYI.

Dunklee operates a nearby drugstore and generates all the energy for his 20-acre home, the news source says. After haggling with the woman, Dunklee says he refused to take $50 for the food and instead the woman shoved $23 money into his pocket. He later reported this on his income taxes.

Another report says the whole thing went off without a hitch but Don Dunklee still felt like it was “a huge waste of time and resources.” (That’s a new one.) The Service, however, claims it was just a random audit. Right, like we’re supposed to believe that the IRS isn’t secretly mining 1040s for “hippie vegetable farmer income” to help fill the tax void.

CFOs Are More Optimistic About Business Now That the Democrats Don’t Control the House

Yet the majority of these CFOs don’t believe that the federal government’s financial policy has had any effect on their business.

So does that mean CFOs are indifferent about which party is in actually in power but more generally speaking, Republicans give them the warm fuzzies while Dems give them the heebie jeebies?

Despite the fact that more than 70 percent of chief financial officers (CFOs) at Deloitte’s annual CFO Vision conference earlier this month believe current government financial policy has either had no effect or negatively impacted their business, the tide is turning toward a more positive outlook. A majority (59 percent) of the same group of CFOs expect the recent Congressional midterm elections to have a positive impact on their industry.

Maybe we’re a little slow (especially this week) but Sandy Cockrell (he introduced us to the “bathtub recovery“) attempts to clarify:

“CFOs are confident that they can pull the levers within their own companies to do their jobs, but they are most worried about external issues involving economic recovery and regulations,” said Sanford Cockrell III, national managing partner of Deloitte’s U.S. CFO Program. “The biggest risk they see is a prolonged, stagnant recovery. Industries are also concerned about too much government intervention. If the employment picture does not also improve and if general pessimism continues to rise, we would expect pessimism to start having a larger impact on companies’ earnings and investment expectations.”

Okay so 70% of the CFOs polled “believe current government financial policy has either had no effect or negatively impacted their business,” yet they still fear government intervention? And if what Cockrell is saying rings true with the majority of CFOs polled, the second John Boehner holds the gavel as the new Speaker of the House, the employment picture may slowly begin turn around? Do we have that right? Really, finance chiefs of America? That’s what you’re pinning your hopes on?

Are they all confused or did Deloitte just throw together a poorly designed poll? We’re stumped but if you’ve got the time and energy, we’ll entertain some theories.