Leftovers of the freakishly repulsive cake that McGladrey rolled out for its rebranding was apparently not shared with other offices because the crew in Phoenix/Las Vegas took it upon themselves to come up with another method of celebration.
“After we returned from brand champion training in Orlando, the three of us met to brainstorm for ideas to make our local brand launch fun and memorable. We wanted to focus on more than just the launch. We wanted employees to know that a brand launch is only successful if the brand becomes part of everything they do.”
What exactly was the idea? Another cake? A surprise appearance by Natalie Gulbis? Keeping your jobs?
No, the creative minds in Phoenix/Vegas decided that gathering everyone together and asking them to drink blue Kool-Aid™ was the best way to show everyone that they are in this together. DO OR DIE.
“Asking employees to ‘drink the McGladrey Kool-aid’ sends the message that we all need to be in this together,” says ——. “And there’s no opting out if we’re going to make this effort a success.”
Pardon what is about to follow but…WHAT. THE. FUCK? Forget about the literal manifestation of a corporate metaphor, which is all sorts of lame (no on is schlepping an 800 lb. gorilla into HQ, are they?). Ever heard of Jonestown? Aren’t we all just a little too trusting with this “drink this” attitude? “Hey, just drink this Dixie cup that’s full of what we say is blue Kool-Aid™ because it will bring us all together.”
And you know how they got a lot of people to get on board with this? FREE T-SHIRTS!
“As an added incentive, employees who drank McGladrey Kool-aid from a Dixie cup received their very ownMcGladrey t-shirt.”
All we can say is, don’t walk but run away.