September 20, 2019

The john

Some Clarification on the Bathroom Situation at E&Y Jericho

Yesterday, we shared a story with you that probably caused you to thank your lucky stars that you don’t work in Norway (especially if you’re a woman). In that post, we called back to our old report from January about the secure lavatories at Ernst & Young’s Long Island location in Jericho.

You may have been under the impression that someone within E&Y was responsible for the lockdown, however, thanks to an enterprising E&Y employee, we now know who the keymasters really are:

I don’t work in the Jericho office, but got shipped out there for random clients for most of this summer. The bathrooms are in the common areas shared by all tenants of the building, so the keyed entry to the bathrooms is mandated by the building management, not EY (not that I’d put it past the partners to come up with something like this, though).

Also, while there are keys for each bathroom, there are also entry codes you can use instead. So you can grab one of the communal keys (kinda gross), or remember the terribly difficult four digit code (0001 if I remember correctly).

As a side note, I remember the admin mentioning that the original set of five keys for the men’s room was down to two. I’m wondering why someone would make off with these nasty over-sized germ farms.

Okay, so the missing keys aren’t news but what’s it going to take to get some extras made? And, again, who’s making off with the keys in the first place?

And while it’s good to know that the E&Y brass in Jericho aren’t actually the ones putting the clamp on the johns, would it kill them to spring for some private restrooms that non-E&Yers don’t have access to? It’s one thing to have to schlep to the front desk to get a key every time; it’s entirely another to be sharing a bathroom with the entire building. What is this, Penn Station?

Seriously, how much time and cost would it take to throw in some pots, sinks, urinals and XLERATORs®? It’s a health issue for crissakes.

Norwegian Businesses Take Bathroom Access Far More Serious Than Ernst & Young’s Long Island Office

You may remember way back in January when we told you about Ernst & Young’s Jericho office putting the clamps down on its water closets. The long/short of it was that the firm made them only accessible by key like some flithy gas station shithouse.

As bad as that is, some businesses in Norway are taking things a bit further:

A boss in Norway has ordered all female staff to wear red bracelets during their periods – to explain why they are using the toilet more often.

The astonishing demand was revealed in report by a workers’ union into ‘tyrannical’ toilet rules in Norwegian companies. The study claimed businesses were becoming obsessed with lost productivity due to employees spending too much time answering the call of nature. It found 66 per cent of managers made staff ask them for an electronic key card to gain access to the toilets so they could monitor breaks. Toilets in one in three companies were placed under video-surveillance, while other firms made staff sign a toilet ‘visitors book’, the report by the Parat union said. It added: ‘But the most extreme action was taken by one manager who made women having their period wear a red bracelet to justify more frequent trips to the loo. ‘Women quite justifiably feel humiliated by being tagged in this way, so that all their colleagues are aware of this intimate detail of their private life.’

Now we don’t know if the key system is still in place in Jericho (residents can let us know) but this should give you pause.

Boss orders female staff to wear red bracelets when they are on their periods [Telegraph via DB]

The Fortune 100 Best Companies to Work For: Ernst & Young #44

The always über-hyped Fortune 100 Best Companies to Work For is out and a handful of accounting firms make an appearance, thus, extending the number of years that firms will continue to boast about their inclusion. We’ll present each in the order they are ranked for your enjoyment/debate/debunking, starting with E&Y.

Ernst & Young #44 – Previously ranked #51. According to Fortune E&Y is great because, “E&Y is the only one of the Big Four to offer a traditional pension in addition to a 401(k). The firm is courting alumni via a new magazine, Connect.”


Other interesting stats per the snapshot:

New Jobs (1 year): -1,111;

% Job Growth (1 year): -4%;

% Voluntary Turnover: 10%

No. of Job Openings at 1/13/2010: 622

Most common salaried job: Manager with average salary of $105,544

This is the first we’ve heard of Connect but we’re guessing Zitor makes a regular appearance. If no Zitor, we wouldn’t bother.

On a more biological note, it’s not clear is where E&Y would rank if Fortune had gotten word of someone hoarding the keys to the mens john in Jericho. We figure if they knew a sicko like that worked at E&Y it would knock them out of the top 50 at least.

Pictures of the Day: One Idea to Help Keep the Utilization Up

As you well know, it’s key for all of you to stay as fully utilized as possible this busy season, and sometimes little things make all the difference.
A reader provided us with the following idea:
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The strategically placed marker board will come in handy when all those great ideas pop into the grey matter.
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Or you can just memorize Giants statistics.


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Say what you will about the impracticalities of this set up but at least you won’t have to chase down a key.
We strongly encourage you to submit any chicanery that you might cook up this busy season. We’re here to help you stay sane.

Caption Contest Winner: Auditing Is Craptacular

After a tight race, one caption ended up pulling away.
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Upon their arrival to their workstation, the audit team quickly understood the reasoning behind the under-accrual for utilities expense for the months of January through March.

With just over 20% of the vote. If you’ve got audit rooms (or any photos for that matter) that you feel are worthy of a caption contest, send them our way. Thanks for voting.

Craptacular Caption Poll Reminder

We’ve got a close race in the craptacular caption contest. Polls close tomorrow night at midnight, so you’ve still got plenty of time to vote if you haven’t already.
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And if you truly think you’ve got worse digs than this, send us your photos, we’re curious as how sadistic clients can be when it comes to accommodating their auditors.

Caption Contest Finalists: Auditing Is Craptacular

Who knew servants of the capital markets could be so creative? Since democracy is alive and well here at GC, it’s about time to get the vote on this one going.
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Here are the finalists:

A. If you think that’s bad, you should see where the prior year work papers are kept.
B. You think this is bad, the intern’s desk is inside the bathroom.
C. The audit staff showed the client who is boss by blocking entry to the restroom until the accountants provided the requested PBC’s.
D. Don’t think the .05% raise was the only benefit to becoming a senior manager.
E. In retrospect, the auditors realized that they shouldn’t have expressed so much concern over where the client was going.
F. Upon their arrival to their workstation, the audit team quickly understood the reasoning behind the under-accrual for utilities expense for the months of January through March.

Caption Contest Reminder: Auditing Is Craptacular

Just a friendly reminder to submit your best captions for the audit room outside the ladies’ rain closet. Jump over the to the original post to submit your caption.
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We’ll take submissions through the end of tomorrow, so get your team together and come up with something that will impress us. Your productivity starts waning this week anyway.
And while you’re at it, if you’re an auditor that works in ridiculous conditions, send us your pictures of your dungeon, closet, or your client-provided school desk.

Caption Contest Friday: Is Your Career in the Crapper?

A reader working at a client site showed us where she and the rest of her audit team will be sitting for the next three weeks:
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A little background/TMI: Naturally our first question was, “Is anything audible?” to which she replied, “We definitely know who has a weak stream around here.”
Same rules – Submit possible captions for all the photos in the comments. We’ll choose our favorites — with preference given to those with an accounting/auditing bent — and then let you vote for the best one. Impress us.