As we mentioned this morning, Erin Brady, an accountant from Connecticut, was crowned Miss USA last night. I wasn't watching the broadcast — Mad Men, duh — but the AP report gave the impression that she informed her bosses on TV that she wouldn't be at work today. Or the day after that, or the […]
Back in February, Minnesota's Pioneer Press was on the hunt for the state's sexiest accountant. The search is over. 34-year-old Charlie Metzig of Roseville was nominated by his wife Brittany (cue a group awwwwwww) who submitted a poem heralding the virtues of her beloved hottie: All the girls may ooh and ahh When he talks about […]
It was nearly two weeks ago when we learned that ex-KPMG partner had dabbled in insider trading of several KPMG clients, including two — Herbalife and Skechers — that were audit clients of London's. It set off quite a firestorm, however when the criminal complaint against London came out, we discovered that the manner in which he and his golf buddy/watch guy Bryan Shaw conducted this little conspiracy was not too sophisticated. Phone calls. Meetings in parking lots. Black paper bags filled with cash. The Boss. It's what you might expect from a couple of middle-aged bros who had plenty of laughs together at the 19th hole.
The website Big4.com likes to put out an analysis of the Big 4 firms' revenues every year and we're pretty grateful because we sure as hell don't want to do it. That said, it's largely just a press release for all the firms to remind everyone how much they're crushing it. And although Big4.com "believes […]
As you may or may not know, Gwen Jorgensen is a tax accountant in Ernst & Young's Milwaukee office. She also happens to be an Olympic triathlete and will be competing at this year's Games in London. On the way to these accomplishments she obtained her CPA (scores not immediately available), and she was a Big […]
You may not know this but AICPA leadership consists mostly of the same old white guys; a complaint you hear often, not something I made up just now. I don't personally have any issues with those old white guys and actually like some of them but it's worth noting that AICPA leadership could use a […]
Suddenly we’re really into anything she has to say, made even more addic��������������������point on international standards and affinity for acronyms that no one can keep up with. We like that in a woman. “Please note that the AICPA supports international standards and believes in adoption as an ultimate goal, but requiring adoption at this time is unrealistic.” Talk about a siren’s call.
Suz isn’t really in the news too much (most of the face time goes to Barry Melancon) but we managed to find a recent comment letter to the Senior Technical Manager of the Compliance Program at the International Federation of Accountants that she wrote:
May 31, 2011
Senior Technical Manager
International Federation of Accountants
545 Fifth Avenue, 14th Floor
New York, New York 10017
Dear Senior Technical Manager,
The American Institute of CPAs (AICPA) is pleased to comment on the IFAC exposure, Proposed IFAC Member Body Compliance Program Strategy 2011-2014.
We applaud the Compliance Advisory Panel’s (CAP) effort to provide a work plan and timeline to the Terms of Reference (TOR) approved by the IFAC Board in September 2008 for future CAP activities. These activities continue to enhance the Member Body Compliance Program and meet the expectations of the Public Interest Oversight Board (PIOB) in its oversight of CAP, as an important public interest activity committee (PIAC) within IFAC.
[Six sentences filled with so many acronyms that it reads like 1st Grader’s handwriting class.]
The new concept of “adoption” suggests that member bodies and/or their country’s governments should turn over their role in standard-setting for the profession to international groups without question. We submit that this approach is not acceptable in current international and national political environments. Therefore, CAP should not require IFAC member bodies to achieve a level that is not practical nor realistic, setting up the Member Body Compliance Program for failure. [Do we have a dominatrix on our hands?]
We feel strongly that the current Best Endeavors goal with its convergence objective is currently working and should continue without any further consideration of elevating this benchmark to total adoption. Please note that the AICPA supports international standards and believes in adoption as an ultimate goal, but requiring adoption at this time is unrealistic [Adrienne is fanning herself]. This would create a situation where most member bodies would be in violation of the IFAC Compliance Program and would continue in violation for the foreseeable future.
Thank you for the opportunity to comment on this important exposure, and we appreciate your consideration of our concern.
Susan S. Coffey, CPA
Senior Vice President
Member Quality and International Affairs
So not exactly Hafiz but we’re still smitten. How did this CPA-soaked Cupid’s arrow strike us, you ask? Adrienne saw her speak at AICPA Spring Council and was completely in awe from even before she said, “Good afternoon, I’m Susan Coffey.” As she was debriefing me about Tom Hood’s boyish charms and whatnot, I happened to ask if there were any females that had any qualities prized by the superficial man. Of course that’s when she launched into Ms. Coffey’s speech at the Council. She couldn’t really remember what was being said but then she pointed me to her picture and then our conversation turned to a possible future hottie contest on GC (Susan would be a #1 seed, natch) that has yet to develop.
ANYWAY, we’ve discussed this crush at length and we decided it was time that we jointly confess our affections to the GC faithful. What do we exactly do we want to accomplish with this admission? Drinks and appetizers would probably be a good start. Getting in touch, Susan, is easy. Email us here.
Now that we’ve sufficiently put ourselves out there, dear readers, feel free to send us any nominations you have for accountants that you’d like to see in a future hottie contest. We’ll do the appropriate due diligence once we feel that enough worthy candidates have been submitted but just know that Ms. Coffey will be in field.
Obviously if you’re already against higher taxes, this is of little concern. If you’re more of a David Cay Johnston type, the Center for Freedom and Prosperity’s casting for its videos may be aimed directly at you.
If one example doesn’t convince you, I suggest you check out the other 12 videos on CFP’s YouTube page.
[caption id="attachment_25948" align="alignright" width="128" caption="Source: Keivom/NYDN"][/caption]
Yesterday, as I was moseying through the typical day of an accounting firm scourge, a message dropped into my inbox that caught me off guard. A reader alerted me to this Daily News article that reported the winners of the Wilhelmina Hot Body Model Search. Nothing really too Earth-shattering except that our tipster noted that one of the winners has an uncanny resemblance to this accounting professor “who taught me financial reporting a few years ago.”
I took a gander and have to admit, the similarities are there but I had my doubts. Not that it would be unheard of for an accounting professor to win a Hot Body Model Search but…it’s a little unheard of for an accounting professor to win a Hot Body Model Search. Especially one with a PhD from Cornell and whose research interests in “capital markets, behavioral finance and the behaviors of arbitrageurs, earnings management and intangibles.” That simply can’t be possible, can it? I couldn’t reach the model and our conversation with the professor in question basically went like this:
In other words, a non-denial denial. I guess we’ll have to figure it out for ourselves then. All right team – could it really be the same guy, or is this just his long-lost twin?
~ Update includes full statement from PwC Ireland.
In case you’ve been in a coma for the last two-ish days, you’re aware of the email that originated inside PwC Ireland that more or less likened the new female associates to a BCS ranking. Said ranking was scored by hotness (instead of bullshit algorithms), it made the rounds as these things often do, found its way into various publications and well…at least it’s Friday, amiright?
The latest news out of Ireland is that three of the male associates have been suspended as the firm’s investigation continues.
Ronan Murphy, a “senior partner,” has issued a statement saying that he ‘deeply regrets’ the incident which .
And as the investigation continues, the firm has spread the word on the inside, as the report from The Journal of Ireland also states:
An internal company message has since been circulated by PwC bosses, warning that anyone who breached the company’s code of conduct and regulations would face “serious disciplinary action”.
As far as the top
10 13 ladies are concerned, there are reports that they are more upset with the media coverage than they are with the actual email.
We really don’t have any revenge ideas on that front but a little media backlash is always expected.
A spokesperson for PwC in the States forwarded us PwC Ireland’s full statement:
We refer to the article in yesterday morning’s Irish Independent relating to emails circulated within and outside of PwC. We first became aware of this matter on Tuesday evening . We are taking it extremely seriously and have commenced a full investigation which is ongoing. We are taking all of the necessary steps and actions in accordance with the Firm’s policies and procedures. Our main concern is the impact of this on the women who were the subject of these emails. We met with them a number of times to give them all of the support they may need in dealing with this. We are particularly concerned and appalled at the compounding effect of the publication of the women’s photographs in some of the papers this morning and last evening. PwC regrets this situation as it always requires its people to adhere to the highest level of standards in their conduct and behaviour.
You may or may not have heard already about a little email making the rounds in Ireland that originated inside PwC. A few dudes figured they would rate the female incoming associates and of course the thing went viral. PwC’s leadership in Ireland got wind of it and since this sort of thing is typically frowned upon, they are now investigating the matter.
It’s rumored that this ranking is a “tradition” inside the firm but if it sounds familiar, it should. Last year we reported on a similar contest that originated inside Del��������������������nders were reversed and there were creative categories like, “Most likely to sleep his way to partner.” This particular ranking is about as imaginative as you would expect from a bunch of dudes at PwC.
Because we’re the ambitious type, we thought we’d try to run down the email and photos and by the grace of the gossip Gods, our persistence paid off. After the jump, the email with the less-than-classy comments – including one guy asking his email to be removed if it the message was going to be forwarded – and the accompanying slideshow (sans names of course).
FW: This would be my shortlist for the top 10
O’Carroll, Richard (IE – Dublin)
Ryan, Evan@Dublin, Mac Giolla Bhride, Jack (IE – Dublin), McInerney, Ruaidhri (IE – Dublin), Mark Gantly
History: This message has been forwarded.
Delete my email signature etc if forward.
From: email@example.com [mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org]
Sent: 27 October 2010 11:27
To: Nolan, Alan (IE – Dublin); Burbridge, Gerard (IE – Dublin); James.Phelan@cbre.com; David.MacUileagoid@mercer.com; John.Murphy@hsoc.ie; Lord, Patrick (IE – Dublin)
Subject: Fw: This would be my shortlist for the top 10
FYI. New clunge.
David Mc Donough | Senior Associate | Asset Management |
pwc | One Spencer Dock | North Wall Quay | Dublin 1 | Ireland |
Direct (: + 353 1 792 5633 | Fax 7: + 353 1 792 6200 | E-mail *: email@example.com
—– Forwarded by David McDonough/IE/ABAS/PwC on 27/10/2010 11:26 —–
To Colin Burke/IE/ABAS/PwC@EMEA-IE, Gavin Dunne/IE/ABAS/PwC@EMEA-IE, Gerard Somers/IE/ABAS/PwC@EMEA-IE, John Leonard/IE/ABAS/PwC@EMEA-IE, Leon Nangle/IE/ABAS/PwC@EMEA-IE, Maurice O’Brien/IE/ABAS/PwC@EMEA-IE, Neil Collins/IE/ABAS/PwC@EMEA-IE, Patrick Meagher/IE/ABAS/PwC@EMEA-IE, Pierce Kenny/IE/ABAS/PwC@EMEA-IE, Robert E Byrne/IE/ABAS/PwC@EMEA-IE, Rory Bluett/IE/ABAS/PwC@EMEA-IE, Paul G Cummins/IE/ABAS/PwC@EMEA-IE, Gavin Friel/IE/ABAS/PwC@EMEA-IE, Mark Rochfort/IE/ABAS/PwC@EMEA-IE, David McDonough/IE/ABAS/PwC@EMEA-IE, Stephen Doherty/IE/ABAS/PwC@EMEA-IE
Subject Fw: This would be my shortlist for the top 10
Lads a couple added and also departments
Stephen Tully | Senior Associate | Asset Management Group
PricewaterhouseCoopers | Assurance
One Spencer Dock | Dublin 1 | Ireland |(: 353 -1-792-5793 | 7: 353-1-792-6200
—– Forwarded by Stephen Tully/IE/ABAS/PwC on 27/10/2010 10:18 —–
Paul G Cummins/IE/ABAS/PwC
To Stephen Tully/IE/ABAS/PwC@EMEA-IE
cc Colin Burke/IE/ABAS/PwC@EMEA-IE, Gavin Dunne/IE/ABAS/PwC@EMEA-IE, Gerard Somers/IE/ABAS/PwC@EMEA-IE, John Leonard/IE/ABAS/PwC@EMEA-IE, Leon Nangle/IE/ABAS/PwC@EMEA-IE, Maurice O’Brien/IE/ABAS/PwC@EMEA-IE, Neil Collins/IE/ABAS/PwC@EMEA-IE, Patrick Meagher/IE/ABAS/PwC@EMEA-IE, Pierce Kenny/IE/ABAS/PwC@EMEA-IE, Robert E Byrne/IE/ABAS/PwC@EMEA-IE, Rory Bluett/IE/ABAS/PwC@EMEA-IE, Paul G Cummins/IE/ABAS/PwC@EMEA-IE, Gavin Friel/IE/ABAS/PwC@EMEA-IE, Mark Rochfort/IE/ABAS/PwC@EMEA-IE
Subject Re: This would be my shortlist for the top 10Link
Great work…..have reservations about the last one getting in……
Paul Cummins | Senior Associate | Asset Management |
pwc | One Spencer Dock | North Wall Quay | Dublin 1 | Ireland |
Direct (: + 353 1 792 6087 | Fax 7: + 353 1 792 6200 | E-mail *: firstname.lastname@example.org
To Colin Burke/IE/ABAS/PwC@EMEA-IE, Gavin Dunne/IE/ABAS/PwC@EMEA-IE, Gerard Somers/IE/ABAS/PwC@EMEA-IE, John Leonard/IE/ABAS/PwC@EMEA-IE, Leon Nangle/IE/ABAS/PwC@EMEA-IE, Maurice O’Brien/IE/ABAS/PwC@EMEA-IE, Neil Collins/IE/ABAS/PwC@EMEA-IE, Patrick Meagher/IE/ABAS/PwC@EMEA-IE, Pierce Kenny/IE/ABAS/PwC@EMEA-IE, Robert E Byrne/IE/ABAS/PwC@EMEA-IE, Rory Bluett/IE/ABAS/PwC@EMEA-IE, Paul G Cummins/IE/ABAS/PwC@EMEA-IE, Gavin Friel/IE/ABAS/PwC@EMEA-IE, Mark Rochfort/IE/ABAS/PwC@EMEA-IE
Subject This would be my shortlist for the top 10
Yesterday we threw up some accountant student eye candy courtesy of Cosmo’s Bachelor Blowout.
Thanks to Above The Law Managing Editor, David Lat, we’ve discovered even more gratuitous accountant chestiness for those interested.
This time the young man’s name is Tripp Davis and he’s representing Mississippi. Tripp has a few real-world years under his belt so this may be his last chance at superficial fame and fortune.
Some select details on the man who was a Tripp long before a time when we knew who the Palins were (God, we miss those days):
His buddies call him: “B-Tag, because I’m big, tall, and goofy!” [switch a couple letters around and you’ve got yourself something else interesting]
Relationship style: “I won’t date a girl unless I can see myself marrying her down the road. Then I jump into it.” [That’s a Southern Man for you.]
Melt-his-heart words: “I think ‘I love you’ is the best compliment a guy can hear.” [We’ll give him the benefit of doubt here.]
Sex on the first date: “Skanky” [Obvious lie.]
Girls going commando: “Sexy” [Is there another answer to this question?]
Do you manscape? “Yes.” [See our previous comment.]
Okay, so Tripp is a tall Southern gentleman and we’ve got the young Missouri college student. Since we can’t get ahold of Carl’s transcripts or Tripp’s performance reviews, we’ll have to go purely on looks. Judge away.
Mississippi Bachelor 2010 [Cosmopolitan]
Whenever we can, we like to sex things up around here. Sometimes it can be difficult but fortunately, this is not one of those days.
This young chap is Carl Koenemann he’s representing Missouri in Cosmo’s Bachelor Blowout and he just happens to be studying the debit and credit trade.
A few swoon-worthy details on Carl: 1) He plays guitar and writes songs; 2) He craves being told that he’s a good listener; 3) He’s perplexed by a woman who thinks he should be able to read her mind; 4) Affirmative on the manscaping question.
Now some ignorant hack at the Riverfront Times thinks that young Carl is “throw[ing] all [his hottness] away to become a buttoned-down bean counter” but that is just one blogger’s shitty opinion.
We think (and we’re sure you agree) that there’s plenty of room for hot men and women in the accounting field. Not that we’re suggesting that Carl completely dismiss his chance at eating disorders or a career in reality TV but we’re sure he’ll have campus recruiters from all Big 4 firms drooling over him, so his career will be just fine.
Missouri Bachelor 2010 [Cosmopolitan]
Carl Koenemann: Manscaping, Accountant Wannabe Needs Your Vote for Sexy Man Contest [Riverfront Times]
Yesterday we learned that FASB Chair Bob Herz would be ending his spectacular 8 year run as the head of our favorite accounting standards setting agency.
What we have not learned is who will be replacing him permanently when he escapes next month. In the interest of helping FASB come up with a qualified replacement, we have a few suggestions. Do we need to submit these in comment letter form or can someone just email over for us?
Patrick Byrne Listen, we know there’s something just not right about the guy and it’s entirely possible that he lacks the actual paper qualifications required of the FASB chair. But to his credit, he can do wonders with financial reporting, especially when it comes to using magical fantasy models very similar to FASB’s own mark-to-Disneyland initiatives. He’d be great for coming up with all sorts of helpful guidance (except when it comes to internal control, he might have to contract out to the IASB on that one) and if the IASB decides to get too lippy, Byrne can simply send Judd Bagley after Tweedie’s ass to “straighten him out,” ifyoufeelme.
Willie Nelson Okay, so we’re pretty sure you have to take a drug test before you’re allowed to run the FASB but assuming Willie can get his hands on some goldenseal, we think we have a winner here. He’s laid back enough to handle hard ribbings by Barney Frank in the event of another bank accounting debacle and who knows, we could put off convergence another 15 years if we can send Nelson over to the IASB with some goodies. They’ll be too busy watching Chapelle’s Show and hunting down Doritos to start messing with the sanctity of GAAP. Win.
The hot chick who got fired from PwC Let’s be real about it, the FASB chairman job used to be an esteemed position but now that we’re trudging ever-forward towards convergence (or, rather, total IASB domination), we don’t actually need anyone with more than half a brain in that position. So why not offer hot chick a job? Qualifications include: standing there looking pretty, keeping your trap shut and ignoring Tweedie’s midnight sexting.
If you have a suggestion, why not let us know? We’ll be sure to include it as an aside in our next comment letter. Whoever they get, can we please PLEASE make sure they slightly more photogenic than our buddy Bob? Seriously, we’re going to miss you, Herz, but man did you make us all look bad.
Tax workers of any stripe – federal or state – get hated on. Given. Buzzwords of disdain like “faceless bureaucrats,” “lazy government employees,” “good-for-nothing-except-for-sucking-up-government-resources freedom haters” and so on and so forth get thrown around with reckless abandon.
However, if you knew that your state department of revenue public servants looked like Natalie Brown (right) and just so happened to be responsible for saving a taxpayer’s life, then maybe Tea Partiers and their derivatives would exercise a little more restraint.
Unless of course they’re also against hotties and random acts of kindness.
When [Earl] Phillips called the state Department of Revenue last month to get answers about his state income tax bill, the faceless Frankfort bureaucrat who called him back saved his life.
Now Phillips thinks Department of Revenue employee Natalie Brown — who dialed 911 when Phillips had a heart attack during that May 26th phone call — should receive more than a simple thank you.
Phillips, an Adair County construction worker, received a tax notice in late May with Brown’s name and phone number
When Brown returned the call he’d placed, she noticed that Phillips, 60, seemed out of sorts.
“I noticed he was breathing really heavily,” Brown said Friday. “I could tell something was wrong.”
At this point, you might expect to read that the government employee placed the phone down to ask their supervisor to get permission to call the on-site nurse (in accordance with the proper protocols). At which point, another co-worker would pop in, suggest they take a break for coffee and a bun and dying taxpayer would be left on the hook.
But nothing of the sort happened! Natalie Brown was on this, knowing that any delay could mean life or death and certainly less future revenue for the state of Kentucky.
Brown verified she had the correct address for Phillips — which was on his tax forms — and called Adair County 911.
Shortly after that, emergency crews arrived and took Phillips, who was home alone, to a local hospital. He was later transferred to a Louisville hospital, where doctors put a stent, or tube, in his heart. He had a 90 percent blockage in one of his arteries, Phillips said.
Hot, lifesaving, tax worker This has reality TV written all over it.
~ Update includes statement from PricewaterhouseCoopers spokesman
By now you’ve probably heard about Debrahlee Lorenzana, who was claiming that being an über-hottie caused her to get fired from her job at Citi.
The Big 4, having its share of hotties, now is facing allegations of its own discriminatory behavior. We were sent the following email that has been making the rounds at PwC about a young associate who was shown the door last Friday. Bravely, the author of the email included her name and phone number, which we’ve redacted:
I have been following the story about the banker in NYC who was fired for her “appearance”. I was just fired today [June 11th] fro erhouseCoopers. I am a graduate of Lehigh University, I have been with the firm since September 2009. I would like to think I am competent enough to hold a job – I recently studied 8 hours for a CPA exam and passed. A test that I have watched my peers struggle with – studying for months and failing multiple times. I have 3 of 4 CPA exams completed, and I am 3-3 in my testing.
Anyway, I was placed on an engagement with an all-male team and one female partner. I was given a poor review on this engagement, however, my work received glowing reviews. On all my other teams I have gotten feedback that I am a pleasure to work with, intelligent, hard-working etc.etc. Per my performance review, they noted that the reason I performed below expectation was because I had a negative attitude with my team and the other piece of feedback I received, from this female partner, is that I was dressed inappropriately because I didn’t wear tights with my skirts in the winter. This is during a time we lived out of a hotel, working from 9am-4am, 7 days a week, and the last thing on anyone’s mind is clothes. I am a 22 year old girl, and I definitely do not “look the part” of an accountant. While on my team with all males, I received constant harassment about how I should “sleep with the senior manager (who was very disliked) to make him cooler” or “you have to go talk to the client cause you are hot”. My mentor from the firm was on my team as well, and every day would comment on my appearance, such as, “Did you lose weight? You look good” or “Your legs look fabulous today”. I was also told that my senior on the team was “in-love with me” and that I should “hook-up with him”. During this period I had a boyfriend whom I expressed my deep deep frustration on this with. Since my employment at the firm, I have been constantly harassed by the partner who hired me. I received such e-mails as, “I am home alone in my hot tub, you should come” or text messages like “So what color underwear are you wearing?” which, I kept my mouth shut about. Keep in mind this individual is married, with kids. Eventually I went to HR when I received my performance review because obviously there was a major disconnect. Of course, they “fully investigated” with the team of all males, and today I was told that I was fired, for under-performance. I was denied a copy of my performance reviews (which as our review policy goes – are given back to each individual at the firm). I inquired as to whether HR had spoken to other individuals I had worked with, and they told me “it was irrelevant” and that my review was contingent only upon “this one engagement (as referred to above)”. Bear in mind that I have worked on 5 other clients since September 2009, and these reviews were thrown to the wayside.
I have been following the story in the news about the woman banker fired in NYC, and have received multiple comments from my co-workers such as, “I can see them doing this to you” or “this is probably why the female partner doesn’t like you – cause you are hot”. Obviously, there seems to be an underlying theme here.
I graduated with a 3.4 from Lehigh, majoring in Accounting and minoring in writing. I got a 1410 on my SAT’s, a near perfect split of 710 Verbal and 700 Math. Throughout my life, the one thing I was sure of was my ability to compete intelligence-wise with my peers, and often exceed far above. So you can understand my extreme confusion and frustration that I could be capable of under-performing, at a firm, where there is documented proof on paper I perform well above my peer group.
So I come to you, whomever may be concerned, as this is an issue I am bringing to light and will hire an attorney for. I was wrongfully terminated – without a fair reason. I have saved all of my work performed while at PwC to provide as evidence of comparison with my peers. If this type of story strikes interest with anyone over at the NYT, I am more than happy to share more information. Like they say, Big Fours are “slave-drivers”, and yet again, they perpetuate this image.
I can be reached by telephone at [redacted]. I live in Stamford, CT and worked on clients from NYC to NJ to CT. Thank you for taking the time to read this – I am a bit flustered still from today’s events, but find no better way to vent than by writing.
SO! That’s a lot to digest. Being a fan of fantastic gams (who isn’t, amiright?) is one thing but verbalizing it in the middle of internal controls testwork is entirely another. That being said, a text requesting the hue of undies is whole other level of awkward.
Our calls, emails, telegrams, and messages by carrier pigeon to PwC have not been returned.
UDPATE: PwC spokesman Jon Stoner provided us with the following statement:
As a matter of policy and practice, PricewaterhouseCoopers is fully committed to maintaining a workplace free of sexual harassment. We take any complaints about sexual harassment seriously, and investigate any such claim thoroughly and confidentially. That is exactly what we did in this case, and we did not find any basis to the allegations.
From the group description:
“Basically, we’re Accountants aaaaaand very sexy. Aint no pocket protectors here, we’re all about Montblancs and Prada. All sexy accountant impersonators will be removed.”
Lame? Perhaps. Surprising? Hardly, dude.
Gang, we’re a little upset about something today. Last week we told you about something that had the potential to turn awards for accountants on its green eyeshade wearing head.
Yes, we’re talking about the doomed Deloitte ballot sent out by Holly Leam-Taylor. Today would have been the day that she had sent out the results of her sluttiest future partner, hottest old man, et al. awards, if it had not been for her inexperience with sending out superficial emails about her colleagues.
If Holly had only consulted with someone, anyone with experience on such matters, they could have explained that Deloitte is not a place for such “fun” things and that using her work email was not the best way to solicit nominations.
Alas, our request for someone to pick up where Holly left off has been roundly ignored and here we are on a Friday with nothing to share about Deloitte’s hottest men in London.
So far we’ve been unable to track down Holly since her Deloitte email has been obliterated. Holly, if you’re out there, get in touch. We’ll get your side of the story out there. We know you’re fed up but this will be fun. We promise. Anyone else that can put us in touch with Holly, please help. We’re still getting over our disappointment.
Picking nominees for Accountant of the Decade was not an easy task and we hope we’ve presented you with some appropriate nominees. If you don’t like the any of them then you should’ve been more vocal during the nomination process.
Or put another way: piss off.
Personally, we would have nominated Stella but we vowed to let the people speak on this matter and not allow our personal preferences to cloud the democratic process.
The nominees are as follows:
Peter Olinto — CPA; JD; Rival of P. Diddy; CPA Exam Maven; Lover of mnemonic devices.
Tim Flynn — Chairman of KPMG; Servant of capital markets; Part-time caddy to Phil Mickelson; Full-time sweater vest buddy to Phil Mickelson.
Tim Gearty — CPA; Infrequent Tweeter; CPA Exam Maven; Kicks it with Bob Herz on boats.
Andy Fastow — Enron CFO; Book cooker; Asshole (so we hear); Inmate #14343-179.
David Friehling — Former partner at Friehling & Horowitz; Bernie Madoff pal; Worst auditor ever; Inmate #TBD.
Gents, are you sick of being treated like eye candy? Are you tired of getting attention for your looks when all you want to do his serve your capital markets? Being judged for alleged promiscuity with superiors?
No? Cool with it? Good, because there are awards being handed out across the pond primarily based on your superficial qualities and your willingness to whore yourself out for personal success (click to enlarge).
We’re filling out our ballot now but as the message says, you’ve got until the 18th, so ponder these carefully. Barry Salzberg is a lock at #6, especially if he’s wearing a hard hat.
Btw, who is going to tabulate the votes? We sure as hell can’t trust anyone from Deloitte to do it. Consider this the official RFP.
Also discuss your thoughts on the categories included, what categories are omitted, nominate yourself by sending us photos (we’ll pass them along). Anything on your mind, really.
When we heard that the accountants at E&Y with elephant-like memories were the butt of a joke on last night’s Emmys we weren’t really surprised. That being said, we weren’t really expecting a joke that would be that entertaining.
So, we were pleasantly surprised when 1) one of the E&Y reps, Mika Velga (sorry if we butchered the spelling), turns out to be a hottie and B) the sketch featured Dr. Horrible, courtesy of the comedic genius of NPH.
Video, after the jump
If you’re not familiar with Dr. Horrible, feel free to waste a few minutes of your morning getting caught up. Oh, and if you know Ms. Velga, tell her she has fans.