As we’ve progressed in this series about quitting your terrible public accounting job and moving on to bigger and better things, I’ve looked forward to this post more than any of the others. Why? Because we have collected some funny-ass farewell emails over the years and I relish any and every opportunity to share them […]
This is from last week, but it's still worthy of a mention since we don't get the deluge of long-winded, self-absorbed farewell emails like we used to. The Daily Mail reports that Oliver Alcock didn't take to life as a professional at PwC too well. He found the work boring and was relieved when he […]
Quitting your job is a part of life in public accounting. Unless you're one of those sick, carrot-chasing freaks sticking around until partner, that is. Even if you're happy now, it's likely the day will come when you leave, and it's also likely that you'll be tempted to write a farewell email. Lest you end […]
Are you ready to pull the plug on your current gig, but feel intimidated by that blinking cursor at the top left-hand corner of a Word document? Microsoft Word has you covered with an array of prewritten letters of resignation. Yes, we here at Going Concern are always here to serve you. Microsoft has you […]
There are basically three types of farewell emails: rambing, angry, expletive-littered rants (also called the Bridge Burner — a GC favorite) clever bro fist goodbyes that read like press releases dry, try too hard missives written like whatever you wrote in your best friend's yearbook the year you both graduated and went off to college […]
Perhaps it is not a coincidence that the bro who abandoned his Deloitte bros for KPMG and the following bro from PwC both work in the Washington Metro; sports-themed farewells may officially be a thing now. Whether or not it's a trend, it sure beats past farewell emails we've seen that go on for days […]
Listen, I think we're all still a little traumatized by the last farewell email posted on this website, so while the following farewell can't hold a candle to that one (I am hoping we never receive a farewell email of that caliber ever again, really), we're posting this one for two reasons. First, MEMES. Second, […]
Unless you work in a soul-sucking environment with a bunch of glory hogging superiors who are constantly kicking you down, you will get several opportunities to showcase your intelligence during your careers.
Over the years, we've seen a ton of farewell emails. While they run the gamut from self-absorbed nonsense to babbling bullshit and everything in between (heavy on the bullshit, of course), there's one part we always seem to miss: the responses from soon-to-be former colleagues. Not only that but most of the ones that cross […]
As far as farewell emails go, this one is incredibly introspective and free from the frat boy shout-outs we usually get peppered between half lucid rants and digs at the ugly people in the office. No, this one is poetry. It starts with our author seeking meaning in his life by way of observing the […]
We've receieved the first ridiculous farewell email of 2013 and it continues the trend of TMI professional good-byes that go viral among the public accounting industry. Only by the stroke of luck did the following farewell email end up in our inbox. You see, we've been informed and confirmed that it had, in fact, it […]
It's the last week of the year and that means no one is doing much of anything besides exchanging gifts for stuff they actually want and planning all the New Year's resolutions they won't keep. Your humble servants here at Going Concern are attempting to recharge our batteries this week, but we know you can't […]
What makes for a good PwC employee? Excel skills? Critical thinking? The number of high-fives given to co-workers when they manage to not screw something up? Every one measures him or herself differently even though your superiors often measure you by indecipherable arbitrary platitudes. But in a farewell email that several sources have sent to […]
Last week we presented you with the worst farewell email committed to…err, email. At a shade over 3,000 words, I was forced to submit myself to the Clockwork Orange eye-opener just to get through the damn thing. There were many other objectionable attributes mentioned that we won't rehash here, but I got the sense that the lion's share […]
BWHAHA we changed it up! You thought Colin was going to milk a second post out of the pathetic farewell email he barely posted yesterday but we have just twisted your brains by having ME do a follow-up. WHAT WHAT. Anyway. When the [dude who's terrible at writing farewell emails] E&Y email came in via […]
Yesterday we shared a travesty of a farewell email that defies all professional etiquette and common decency. Later today we'll give you some pointers for crafting a farewell email that doesn't annoy everyone, but for now we have Exhibit B for self-serving, over-sharing accountants who seek greener pastures: Hello Everyone, After five and a […]
The farewell email is one of few art forms in the corporate world. There are good ones. There are bad ones. There are the ones that when you read them, you recognize its genius instantly. They are similar to street art in the sense that they have very short shelf lives; you will probably see […]
Here it is, the final week of 2011 and that means lists! Top 10. Freaky 50. Worst 100. If there's a list to be made, the Internet will provide. And since we're not immune to the power of media clichés, we'll present you with our list of the most popular posts on this here website. […]
Sorting through Moanday’s emails, I received one from a very proud (and former) P’Dubber. He wanted to share his resignation letter, where he pretty much tees off on his former colleagues.
An excerpt: “burning bridges ain’t all that bad if people want to jump off of them.”
Thought you guys may enjoy this – my name is [redacted] and this was my resignation letter to PwC I sent to the entire group a few weeks ago…. had to get this forwarded from friends within the group as they confiscated my laptop and disconnected my phone service after i sent this out – also deleted it from everyone’s mailbox by the next afternoon. nonetheless, already has circled around like wildfire. if you do happen to use this – please take out any other names, don’t want word getting back of my moles within the group 🙂
[DWB note: names removed and yes, there’s lots of capitalization issues.]
Sent on : 10/03/2011 06:50:43 PM
Subject : dueces!
fellow underpaid laborers,
no need to bs here, it’s been a pleasure w some, a nightmare w most. my
last words –
to my friends, see you on the flipside
to the newbies, one word: dignity. you are not a part of a meritocracy and climbing the corporate ladder’s just a game. if you a snake, slither your way to the top and look down on everyone with misguided pride. otherwise be real and dont do anything that jeopardizes your values. if you plan on being the future of this group don’t bitch about it together in secret and ruin the sacredness of the pantry, with all that free milk and napkins. and soap. lead by example, not your examples. shit gets pushed down and blame gets pushed up, your boss’s boss’s boss has a boss to blame your grievances on. don’t just be a product of a farming system of the ML of finance. you may leave and feel better, but you’re leaving a bunch of people behind that will go through the same shit you did. respect and loyalty is nonexistent in this group.. act on it. if you can spare yourself a moment in retrospect that you’d remember with disdain, why not. and if this isn’t for you and you already know it stop wasting your time.
to my “superiors”, from the great and timeless Remember the Titans, “Attitude reflects leadership, captain”. oh and this whole external hiring thing is completely hit or miss, the lack of trust in organic growth is pure use-em-while-you-can turn over (pun…HA) culture and it shows.
well, I guess I won’t be getting any recs from here, but f it burning bridges ain’t all that bad if people want to jump off of them.
ohh and to the all bark, no bite HR Manager with an office for midgets, give the man credit for havin some sass, but he has memory issues. the people you told verbatim that sittin for the gmats would be enough, the email that proved it, the way you denied it and put it back on them and didn’t have a care in the world u were losing good talent (not myself of course, letsbehonest), manager of the year. I’d say you were the [redacted] of pdub managers. and don’t text message me man, cmon, seriously? i ask who u are, u reply “your HR manager”? well, not anymore (expletive). and no one likes to be text messaged by middle aged men, no one.
on that note, in the words of the amazing [redacted], dueces!
Those of you at PDubs – was it really erased from computers? Do former colleagues get a discount at the truck? We want details.
Subject: And When I Leave Come Together Like Butt Cheeks
You can figure out where this is going to go based on that alone, I’m sure.
Predictably, this email has been making the rounds since it was sent. If the OP was shocked it went viral in public accounting inboxes up until this point, wait until he sees it here. Names have been changed to protect the innocent, including the OP, who isn’t innocent at all but still deserves that. I think.
Guess who just got the fuck outta Dodge?! This guy! How many people had Craig Douchenozzlestein lasting until August 4, 2011 in the YMP pool?
But seriously, it is NOT easy to get out of these contracts. Im pretty sure it would have been easier to escape from Auschwitz th knew from the second week I start here that this wasn’t going to work out. I mean, working past 7pm cuts significantly into my drinking and foundling women time. So therefore, since October 28, 2008 when I was forced to work until 10pm on my fucking 23rd birthday, these wheels have been in motion.
I feel like it is probably appropriate to go over what got me to this point of release, in case anyone wants to take a similar approach and not have to pay back any tuition money and get a severance package.
The first breaking point for EY was during my staff 2 year when I lost an inventory count and the bitch of a senior manager WOULD NOT stop hassling me about it. Dude, I told you I lost it. No matter how many emails or sametimes you sent me, that sheet isn’t coming back. Get over it. Rose cried less when the Titanic sank. Needless to say, he personally wrote my review. Didn’t go over too well during roundtables.
The next “occurrence” happened in February 2009 during busy season. It was a Friday night and I was newly broken up with [the girlfriend] for the 24th time. That Saturday I had to work on [rando client] in the office because we just received their 10K. However, this was a minor inconvenience because 2 buddies from college were in town and I had a kitchen full of liquor waiting for them. During that night at the bars, I hit it off with one of the girls in our party and, as any guy knows, the first lay after a break up is as necessary as oxygen. So we leave to go back to my apartment only to realize I had given my buddy from college my keys so he could get in later. In a crime of passion and lack of forethought, I punched through our glass window to get into the lobby, only to realize the door to my apartment was still locked. Not letting this stop my teenage sex drive, we hopped a 30 minute cab to her place. The next morning I awoke at 11am realizing I should have been at work 2 hours ago. By the time I got to work it was 1pm, I reeked of booze and was bleeding all over the place because of my hand. AND I had forgotten my badge so called the senior manager to come let me in who greeted me with a “what the hell happened to you?” I also found out I had texted my senior the prior night while in the cab saying “Getting laid in West Randombury, Ill be at work ASAP” at 3am. Needless to say, my year end review mentioned something about “unprofessional” and “this is a career, not some part time job”
Those 2 situations resulted in me being held back for my staff 2 year. After that, there was not much anyone could do that would prevent me from doing what I wanted to do. I worked from home, ignored deadlines, and pretty much didn’t give a shit. I even made up some bullshit excuse that I was stuck travelling back from the Kentucky Derby in Pennsylvania during a 3/31 year-end just so I could catch up on the DVR I missed while away for the weekend.
The final straw that broke Camel Craig’s back resulted from a year-end job at the beginning of January. The Manager was a complete bitch and I spent most of my day exchanging texts with a girl I had met the prior weekend at the bar. She did not take kindly to this. But the breaking point for her was definitely when I didn’t show up til 2pm on that Friday because it was my roommates birthday the night before. Everyone knows Roommates birthday=Your Birthday, right?!?! That’s another thing that gets me about this place, everyone is so caught up in work they forget about enjoying life. Shit, life is so short (especially if you are a raging alcoholic) and is way too short to spend stressing over excel sheets all damn day. Every once in a while enjoy it! Take a sick day to go to the beach. Get hammered on your roommates birthday and come in late, have unprotected se…. well, maybe not too much enjoyment. But you get the message!
But I digress, I truly enjoyed my summers with you guys and the shit we got away with. I hope I was able to have a positive effect on your lives in some way, even if it was just “damn, at least Im not as bad as Craig . Did you see him lick the Backer pole last night?!” I hope you all keep in touch and wish you the best down the road.
If you guys are ever in the Random City area, Im always down to meet up. Just no rioting like we did when Joey and Dan were here.
Good luck to you in your future endeavors, “Craig,” you’ll need it.
Please note, we’re pretty sure this guy is a one-off and not at all reflective of the overall quality of his colleagues. Therefore let’s reserve any judgments for Craig and Craig alone. Judge away, my darlings.
Last month, we kicked off a new year of epic farewell emails by sharing an ex-Deloitte employee’s somber sendoff. This was followed-up with a P. Dubber who answered the call to fight crime on the streets of Baltimore.
Today, we bring you the latest in epic sendoffs, this time courtesy of the “Black and Yellow.”
My fellow citizens of EY nation past and present. I know the EY grapevine talks, so this email probably doesn’t come as much of a surprise, but I wanted to personally let you know. Tomorrow is my last day here at this beautiful place called Ernst & Young. It’s almost been 6 years, which I believe EY years to be somewhat like doggie years, so that probably comes out to more like 7. Monday, I am moving into a new role as a [number cruncher] for [new employer] (here in [a city]). I am very excited about this new opportunity, but over the past few weeks, I have become oddly nostalgic about this place. So those 17 pages of EY jabs and complaints that I’ve been compiling for this day will have to stay with me. Just kidding! It certainly hasn’t been an easy road, but I honestly know I’ve gained some valuable experience, knowledge and skills I wouldn’t have in another position. I’ve also really enjoyed working with you all over the years and hope our paths cross in the future. Even though some of you are crazy workaholics, it’s so nice to be able to know that you will get the job done and even share a joke or a story along the way. I appreciate all that has been done for me and as a token of my appreciation I’ve thrown together a going away present from me to you:
Favorite lyrics and whether he’s as good as Steve Beguhn are now on the floor for discussion.
While some of you are understandably
broken up CRUSHED that Natalie Gulbis is off the market, there are some who are emotionally exhausted from their experience in the Big 4 and aren’t looking forward to another busy season. That got one Green Dot to thinking:
The following email is making its way around the company, it’s a good bye email from a staff out of the NE region. At first I thought it was funny, but after reading it again, I found it quite troubling. As today marks the start of another busy season, I thought you might want to share this with your readers and stress the importance of mental health. The re end of the day, this is just a job. I think that staff, particularly staff straight out of school, have trouble understanding that. The email ends on a high note and it sounds like he is going to get the peace he really needs, but I hate to think about the hundreds of other people in this industry (this is not a uniquely Deloitte issue) who find themselves in similar situations.
Keep up the good work!
Concerned at Deloitte
Before we get to the farewell email, we aren’t making light of anyone’s personal situation and certainly not the importance of mental health but for crissakes people, your job is not life or death. If your job is weighing on you to the point of misery, talk to someone you trust. And if you need to take a mental health day, or take a leave of absence or just LEAVE, then do so. There’s no point in pushing yourself beyond your limits. We’ve seen it first-hand and it’s not pretty. Just because some people enjoy (and thrive) under the torture of 60-70 hour work weeks that doesn’t mean that you have to. And if you happen to observe a co-worker slowly losing it, take it upon yourself to ask how that person is doing.
ANYWAY, here it is:
Subject: One day I was sitting wondering to myself, why do people do things to intentionally cause themselves pain?
I’m sure some of you have forgotten who I am, and I’ve forgotten who some of you are too, not most but some. I’m sitting here in my old desk in the 2wfc on the 9th floor where I worked during the 2009 audit busy season. I’m writing to inform you that I have decided to part ways with the old uncle D.
I’m not sad and I hope you aren’t either, because this isn’t an end it’s just a new beginning. During my time at Deloitte I meet so many amazing people that I can’t even count them all, so many people have touched my life deeply. I wish I could spend more time with each one of you, and I can. I’m only an email away. During my time here I had a lot of fun, there was a lot of pain, more pain and sadness then I can even hope to describe in a single email. But more and more I’m choosing to only remember the good times, which is making me a better person, a happier person.
Which brings me back to the question I asked myself. Why do people do things to intentionally cause themselves pain? After coming back to the office and reflecting back on my time here I can start to understand. Sitting here in my cold dark cubical on the 9th floor, located in the furthest most isolated corner of the floor, overhead there is no office light as the other cubicles around which all have a single UV light positioned in the ceiling over head, so it’s the darkest cubical around.
Now coming back to all this I can finally see why, why I sacrificed my happiness to sit and stare at a computer monitor for 12 to 14 hours a day. You might be saying, it was because you had too, this was your job. But in our society, in modern America no one can make me or anyone else do anything. I could have just as easily not came in, I could have decided to just leave the firm. But day after day I kept coming. Why? Now looking back I see that it was two things. The first but not most important was my loyalty to the people I worked with, the second was my own fear.
The answer to my fear lies in a song I used to listen to several times every day during the 2009 audit busy season. The song “Drones” by Rise Against is a description of the modern office worker, the song helped me to feel that someone out there understood how I felt, that I wasn’t alone. It speaks office workers who keep coming back to work, to work their lives away. They come back to work every day in order to serve a faceless queen (aka: Money, C.R.E.A.M.). A god which can never love them back or help them attain love because it’s at the end of the day it’s only an object. Yet the people keep working to make that paper.
Well enough of my rant about money. I wanted to thank everyone, even the system which is Deloitte. I want to thank you all for everything you taught me, and all the fun and crazy experiences I had will never be forgotten.
To all the people whom I complained too, didn’t listen too, and got angry with. I am sorry, I want you to know I appreciate all of you dealing with my nonsense and being patient with me, and teaching me. I understand how difficult I can be to work with, and sometimes even be around. I’m sorry if I made your lives harder.
Please keep in touch.
P.S. Yes I am crazy, and no I don’t need help
P.S.S. My email is [redacted] Please feel free to write me any time.
Last month we touched on a possible exodus starting in KPMG’s New York office with the news that a number of people had given their notice to leave the firm. A few readers were not impressed with the news including Hyperbole:
6 people leave a massive office in an industry that even in a slow year expects 10-15% voluntary turn. I’m all for ripping on the firms, but this is a little ridiculous…
“DAMANGE CONTROL BEGINNING: 26 FANS LEAVE LAKERS GAME AT HALF TIME
However, another commenter, blah felt that this was just the beginning:
I believe the exodus is coming. Folks are pretty pissed off these days and there are a lot of career opportunities out there right now for us.
Now, here we are, a month later and it sounds as though the numbers are increasing quickly as we have had multiple sources confirm that approximately 12-15 professionals have given recent notice between the banking and asset management groups – two of the largest in the New York office. The majority being SA2s, SA3s as well as experienced managers.
Our sources have indicated that many more are actively looking and that this is not the “normal attrition” that is expected by a firm. One recent SA that gave their notice was kind enough to send us a copy of their farewell email that sounds – oddly – inspired. After drying your eyes (or throwing up in your mouth), feel free to discuss the latest conga line going out of 345 Park.
Allow me to leave you with a few words of inspiration on this most joyous day:
BLOOD ALONE MOVES THE WHEELS OF HISTORY!
Have you ever asked yourselves in an hour of meditation – which everyone finds during the day – how long we have been striving for greatness?
Not only the years we’ve been at war the war of work but from the moment as a child, when we realize the world could be conquered. It has been a lifetime struggle a never-ending fight, I say to you and you will understand that it is a privilege to fight. WE ARE WARRIORS! Accountants of New York City, I ask you once more rise and be worthy of this historical hour. No revolution is worth anything unless it can defend itself. Some people will tell you accountant is a bad word. They’ll conjure up images of used car dealers, and door to door charlatans. This is our duty to change their perception. I say, accountants of the world… unite. We must never acquiesce, for it is together… TOGETHER THAT WE PREVAIL. WE MUST NEVER CEDE CONTROL OF THE MOTHERLAND…
What to do, what to do.
As summer promo’s and raises (or lack thereof) loom on the horizon, you may or may not be on the hunt for a new job. If you are, great, keep reading. If you’re not that’s swell too but I encourage you to use this as a reference when the time comes. What I do want to talk about is how to resign from a job. Because if I’ve seen anything on my side of the HR table, it’s that you accountants can be rough around the edges come Hugh Grant time.
Listen, I don’t know what your recruiters tell you, but here’s what you need to know:
Respect your colleagues and boss – So you get the call you’ve been working towards – XYZ Company wants to hire you. Offer is for better money, hours, and potential. You’re on board. Great – now what?
When you’re done with your victory dance in the parking lot, the people you should break the news to is your engagement team. After all, they are the ones that will be forced to immediately absorb your departure. You shared long hours and an infinite number of other unfortunate circumstances and the whole “in the trenches” camaraderie is flushed away with your decision to leave. The best way to explain this situation to them is to be honest – you’re moving on to a better situation and you’re sorry that this puts more work on their plate but it’s not personal.
Spread the word to your mentor and mentees. It is vital to protect these professionally personal relationships. Chances are your mentors know why you’re leaving; hell, they might have even encouraged you to look outside the firm. Include them on your final “farewell” email, but be sure to contact them on a personal level as well. Thank them for their help in shaping your career.
Your resignation letter should be short and sweet. Keep the feelings, personal jabs, and wisecracks out of the email. Here’s an example:
Dear Caleb Newquist,
As of today, (May 12, 2010) I am officially notifying you of my resignation. I am prepared to work for two weeks from this date, ending on (May 26, 2010). I will do whatever it takes from today until that date to make my departure as smooth as possible.
I sincerely hope to continue the professional, and more importantly personal, relationships I have developed in my time at ABC. I hope that this parting can be accomplished without hurting said relationships.
If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to ask.
Short and sweet. Should you have the need to express personal messages to TPTB, do so in a separate email. Your resignation letter is nothing more than a means to an end.
Whatever you do, don’t burn the bridges – The accounting world is smaller than you might think. Chances are when you leave your current firm you will consider a number of your former colleagues to be current friends. Keep your farewell email short and genuine, but also professional. Whatever you do, don’t burn bridges now. You have no idea when the next happy hour will turn into a professional opportunity.