December 10, 2018

Enforce much?

PCAOB Told SEC ‘Hold My Drink,’ Went All Enforcement-Crazy on Accountants in 2017

2017 was a banner year for the Public Company Accounting Oversight Board when it came to enforcement actions against accountants. For the Securities and Exchange Commission, not so much. The PCAOB finalized 35 enforcement actions involving “accountants”—otherwise known as CPAs employed by SEC registrants, auditors, and audit firms—last year, up from 28 in 2016, according […]

The IRS Goes Gun Shopping

‘Cause they’re in the market. For those of you that still doubt how serious of a force the Internal Revenue Service is, you’d better start paying attention because the the Service is in the market for guns. You would think, that with a certain hawkish administration recently in charge, every government agency would have arms dealers Smith & Wesson on speed dial but maybe change really did occur in DC.

Never mind that for now. The IRS is taking bids right now and they know what they want:

The Internal Revenue Service (IRS) intends to purchase sixty Remington Model 870 Police RAMAC #24587 12 gauge pump-action shotguns for the Criminal Investigation Division. The Remington parkerized shotguns, with fourteen inch barrel, modified choke, Wilson Combat Ghost Ring rear sight and XS4 Contour Bead front sight, Knoxx Reduced Recoil Adjustable Stock, and Speedfeed ribbed black forend, are designated as the only shotguns authorized for IRS duty based on compatibility with IRS existing shotgun inventory, certified armorer and combat training and protocol, maintenance, and parts.

The only conclusion we can come to is that somebody (Joe Francis?, Nic Cage?) is about to get their doors kicked down with extreme fucking prejudice. OR the initial visits of the thousands the IRS is making haven’t gone so well and arming their agents to the teeth should help them get their point across. OR maybe Doug Shulman just loves the cold steel of a 12 gauge against his naked skin. Whatever is going on, it’s no joke.

Wanted: Accounting Manager, Enforcer Experience a Plus

mandatory.jpgA source passed along a job opportunity for a company in Miami that needs an accounting manager. Doesn’t sound out of the ordinary but that there’s a little bonus in it for you if you can make it 365 days:

Accounting Manager – Pre IPO Company- Hospitality Industry
Location: Miami
Compensation: $90,000 – $100,000 + Bonus and other incentives (Free European Cruise after 1 year of employment)

Nice, right? There may be a bit of a catch though. Here’s part of the job description:

We are looking for an exceptional finance professional/ CPA who has very high ethics, strong interpersonal skills, loyalty to the company and to the President, someone who is very honest, trustworthy, hands on, very good with budgets, managing a complex debt structure, very good with complex capex projects, able to watch receivables like a hawk and not shy away from tough collections: able to work quickly and flexibly with cash flows and related dynamic Manage large outsourcing contracts/ contractors manage all expenses create reports for the Board and finance.

So based on the above, we’re thinking that not only must you be a master of double-entry accounting, you shouldn’t be afraid to break some kneecaps in order to convince some deadbeat customers to pay up. Do all this for one year, and you will have earned yourself a nice little vacation. Qualified applicants should get in touch and be prepared to demonstrate your abilities.