November 12, 2018

bulls

Freaky Fraud: The Woman Who Stole $110,000 in Bull Semen From Her Employer

First, if you hate your inventory counts, can you only imagine what it’s like to have to keep tabs on tank after tank of frozen bull semen? Count your blessings, people.

A woman in Ohio pleaded not guilty last week to stealing a tank of bull semen valued at $110,000 from her employer. Authorities say 45 year-old Karen Saum planned to use the semen to extort money out of her employer – the rightful owner of the sperm – to start her own business. I can only imagine what kind of business she planned on starting with the seed money.

Detectives said a tip led them to Saum’s garage, where they found the stolen semen. Just a tip.

Det. James Hollopeter told WHIO TV that Saum used her knowledge of the company’s internal workings to lift only the high quality semen. “She knew where this semen would have been located,” he said. “It was actually locked in an interior closet because it was more valuable that some of the other that they had out.”

Right. Because everyone knows you don’t leave the good shit lying around where any old creepy criminal can get their paws on it.