September 22, 2018

brain damage

Soon-to-Be KPMG Associate Bounces Back From Accountant Hate Crime

We just got presenting you with some options for dealing with the occasional dick at your job. It goes without saying that 99% of the time, confrontations at the office don’t resort to fisticuffs but as we’ve detailed in these pages, accountant abuse is all too common – both verbal and physical.

Today’s account of bean counter beat downs is actually a positive one, as Bryan Steinhauer – who is starting at KPMG next month – has recently passed his first section of the CPA exam after suffering an assault in 2008, spending three months in coma and “endured thousands of hours of speech and physical therapy.”

We should clarify that Steinhauer was not not beaten because of his aspiring accountant status but because he was “allegedly dancing” with some dude’s girlfriend (which is punishable by death in some countries):

The 2008 assault near Binghamton University left Steinhauer with severe brain injuries. Doctors didn’t know if he would be able to speak again, let alone if he would live.

Now, two years later, as Steinhauer’s attacker Miladin Kovacevic prepares for prison, the resilient Brooklyn man is poised to pick up where he left off.

Steinhauer, 24, is about to start work at the accounting firm KPMG, capping a comeback that hospital officials call “mind-boggling.”

“I’m ready to move on to the next stage of my life, doing what I was meant to do,” a beaming Steinhauer told the Daily News. “It’s the biggest thing for me – to reclaim my life.”

Steinhauer has reason to be confident. Last week, he found out he passed the first part of the notoriously difficult CPA exam – no small feat for someone who suffered brain injuries so severe his memory was erased.

So, in case you don’t think you’re capable of bouncing back from a 74 on FAR, this guy recovered from brain damage and no memory to pass one part of the CPA exam. Normally, we’d suggest Adrienne chime in with some words of encouragement here but we don’t think it’s necessary.

Bryan Steinhauer reclaims life following brutal 2008 assault by Serbian athlete Miladin Kovacevic [NYDN]