July 21, 2018

Jenny

(UPDATE) What Can We Learn From Yesterday’s Quitting Heroes?

While you were sitting at your desk yesterday doing whatever it is you do in August*, countless Americans quit their jobs. Due to the state of our barely-above-stagnant economy, it can be assumed that the majority of those who put in their two weeks actually had another job lined up in the wings.

But.

Neither Steve “I always wanted to use the slide” Slater nor Jenny the Hot Piece of Ass assistant had a job to wake up to this morning yet their stories are the talk of your water cooler. Airport security and Internet privacy issues aside, it’s impossible to deny that Slater and Jenny both quit in style.


We have all been there: at the same job for two, five, ten, maybe twenty years and that moment – clear as the cloudless sky – happens that makes the tiny voice of reason insanity common sense scream I’ve HAD IT with this job.

What were your “I’ve had it!” moments? Have any of your colleagues or friends outside of public accounting ever gone down guns ‘blazing? Would you hire Jenny? Share your stories, tales, and opinions of the mystery passenger** who drove Slater nuts below in the comments.

* – No, seriously – help us out – what do you actually do in August? [Ed. Note: Tax peeps, forgive him, he knows not what he says]

** – Does anyone else want to hear from the moronic passenger that rose from their seat prior to the plane being gated? How shitty does that person feel? My guess is that they are too dense to realize they did anything wrong.

UPDATE: By now, you may or may not be aware that the entire Internet was duped by the “Jenny” quitting tale. We’re completely okay with this, mostly because it’s August and there really isn’t anything else going on.