July 18, 2018

Crime fighters

Another Accountant Superhero Is in Our Midst

You may remember back in January when a PwC employee put down his pencil to – according to his farewell email – fight crime as the caped avenger. At the time, we expressed concern not only because there can’t be two Batmans but because…well, we’re just skeptical of any cube-dweller’s ability to make the streets safe for the rest of us.

Despite our doubts, that hasn’t stopped another accountant, Irene Thomas (aka Nyx), from taking to the streets to fight for truth, justice and all that crap.

By day Irene Thomas says she is a ‘boring’ accountant who lives in a cramped New Jersey flat. By night she puts on a black catsuit and mask with a red belt, gloves and boots, gets into her Honda Accord car and comes out the other side of the Lincoln Tunnel in Manhattan as ‘Nyx’. The 21-year-old is just one member of the Real Life Superhero Project, a group of humans who aim to bring a helping hand to people everywhere and thwart crime on city streets.

It doesn’t appear that Nyx wasn’t born with natural crime fighting abilities, as the Real Life Superhero Project has documented her training on their website. As with all superheroes, there has to be another side to Nyx that we don’t get to see. What kind of pain or personal aguish has she gone through that has caused her to take up this cause? Does the thought of spending hours upon hours in a cube farm staring at spreadsheets haunt her dreams to the point of insomnia, thus leading to the spending her nights running around the City a dominatrix outfit? Is she looking for more from life besides a good paycheck, generous benefits and half-days Fridays during the summer? Or is it something deeper?

‘Like the night, I cannot be proven or disproven to certain degrees – and also much like the night, when morning comes, there will be no trace of me.’

Jesus, who knows. Fly-by-night psychoanalysts are welcome to weigh in now.

Real Life Superheroes [via Daily Mail]

Will a Former PwC Employee’s Superhero Aspirations Lead to Trouble?

As we’ve discussed, some farewell emails can be morbidly melodramatic while others are a bitter “good riddance” that makes you pity the poor bastards that will hear your former colleague’s cynical musings.

The latest Big 4 sendoff comes courtesy of PwC and we only share it with you because, well, we don’t know what to make of our hero’s crime fighting dreams.

Friends,

It is with a great mixture of emotions that I leave the firm today. As many of you know, I never imagined myself as a mild-mannered accountant. I always thought that there was a greater destiny out there for me, a tale of wonder and adventure, a story mostr careful consideration and consultation with my closest companions, I’ve decided to leave PwC in order to become a costumed vigilante of the night.

It wasn’t an easy decision; declaring war on crime never is. There will be some hard nights ahead of me as I craft the tools necessary to take back this city. Intense martial arts training and an iron-clad will might not be enough, but it’s all we got. Where evil lurks in the hearts of men, where innocents are lost and forgotten, where citizens call out for a savior, I will be there. Rest easy, Baltimore, your avenging knight has arrived.

I am vengeance. I am the night. I. AM. BATMAN.

[Bruce Wayne]
[brucewayne]@gmail.com

P.S. Could everyone do me a solid and keep my new secret identity to themselves? It’ll make avenging the weak a lot easier if super-villains aren’t bugging me at my new job all the time. Thanks.

Okaaay, so lots to discuss here. For starters, the lack of originality is dreadful. Batman is TAKEN you DOLT. Secondly, Batman is a scientist; you’ve got an accounting degree. Unless you’ve been whipping out a engineering/chemistry/physics set in your cubicle testing gadgets, we’re pretty sure a cap gun will be more effective than anything you’ll be strapped with. Thirdly, this is BALTIMORE we’re talking about. We’ve only spent a little bit of time there but if The Wire is as realistic as its creators say it is, this dude will last all of two seconds. Now, it’s possible that this could be a comic nerd trying to give his friends a laugh on his way out the door but what if we are dealing with another Phoenix Jones?

So if our hero is serious, we’re guessing you can count on a future report from the local Baltimore news detailing the injuries suffered by the masked avenger/former accountant.