July 17, 2018

Cops

Area Police Department Offers Help to Drug Dealers Struggling With Tax Season Preparations

Apparently criminals in the Bourne, Mass. area are not getting the service they need from the local CPAs in a crucial time of year. Any crook worth his salt knows that taxes are to be taken seriously. If they can nail Capone with with tax evasion, they can nail anyone. Luckily, one police department recognizes […]

Accountant Reaches New Heights of Stupid Behavior After Drinking and Driving

Where I come from, some of my friends had a saying, “There’s only one way to drive drunk…FAST!” Obviously this is dumb. Forget the fact that drinking and driving is dumb but exceeding the speed limit while drinking and driving is exponentially dumber. Inevitably this type of behavior will get you pulled over, at which point the opportunity for more dumb behavior presents itself. On the one hand you could simply jump out of the car, flee the scene, losing your shirt in the process because it will probably slow you down, only to be tackled, cuffed and babbling the Branded theme song in the back of a police cruiser. Another option would be to literally manifest the phrase “cop-slugging drunk.” And yet another option is to do what Alison Brookes did and opt for a more affectionate approach:

A driver who kissed a cop in a bid to avoid a parking ticket ended up losing her licence – after he smelled booze on her breath. Chartered accountant Alison Brookes, 51, planted the smacker on the police officer’s cheek after he spotted her parked on double yellow lines in Didsbury. But the officer got a whiff of alcohol – and arrested her. Brookes, of Fenwick Drive, Heaton Mersey, admitted drink driving and was banned for 14 months at Manchester Magistrates’ Court. Court chairman Stephen Terry told her: “Perhaps kissing the officer was a bit of a giveaway, but that’s by the by.”

Have you been drinking madam? Accountant failed breath test after she gave traffic cop a kiss on the cheek [MEN]

Deloitte Closes Reno Office, Employees Not Totally Munsoned*

Thumbnail image for Reno.jpgDeloitte is closing its Reno office, according to the Reno Gazette-Journal. The firm isn’t letting any of the eighteen employees go, rather they will either work from home or at client locations.

Bad news is that we wouldn’t expect the community colleges in the Reno area to get any attention any time soon and if you’re looking to get in on some free donuts, law enforcement is probably your best option.

Deloitte firm closing Reno office [Reno Gazette-Journal]

*We’re not sure this is necessary but whatevs.