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A Special Holiday Open Items, With a Few Items Of Our Own

Posted on by Adrienne Gonzalez

As you've gathered by now, I'm far more "hands on" than Colin ever could be, maybe because I never learned to respect others' personal space and he's just, well, anti-social. In the spirit of my need to constantly check in with all of you because I care, before we get into this special holiday edition of Open Items (if you haven't gathered yet, we're getting the heck out of here early today and will not return until Monday), I have a few items of my own to put out there.

First: I am working on a list of the "worst" items you auditors have had to count at year-end. Fittingly, I plan to post this — wait for it — near year-end. So there is still time for you to weigh in. So far, I've determined that just about everyone knows someone who knows someone who had to count animal semen so I'm counting that one as an auditor urban legend unless someone gives me some real documentation/proof otherwise (although I'm sure I will regret asking for it). Jump into the conversation on Reddit or Facebook, and for the shy folk, you can always email in your inventory nightmares anonymously through the tip box.

Second: There was some hostility in the comments this week and by hostility I mean immature dick measuring contests. I remind you all that A) this is the Internet and B) this is the accounting section of the Internet so put it back into your pants and please take that elsewhere. Personal attacks are not only lame but uncalled for. Remember when you guys are complaining about our lack of a forum this right here is why we can't have nice things. Until I have time to draft an official comment policy for GC (and yes, it's coming), know that mommy doesn't have time to babysit children who are supposed to be professional adults. We should all have a good time here but let's watch it with the personal attacks, this isn't Yahoo.

Lastly, things are still a little crazy around here what with me trying to fire Colin the second he promoted me and all that comes with that reorganization, plus the holiday and none of you embezzling millions from clients but I'll say one more time: my door is always open.

Going into this holiday, obviously don't expect to hear much from us but if you need to dodge awkward interactions with your family and the like, know we are always with you in spirit. And possibly on Twitter.

Now, go ahead and get busy in the comments and feel free to air your concerns and worries — no matter how small — and any questions you may have for your fellow capital market servants. Happy Thanksgiving!

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Congress Needs More Testimony on Accounting Stuff They Won’t Understand

Maxine Waters2.jpgWe don’t know about you but we here at GC are relieved that Congress is back in session this week. For starters, we’re trying to find someone that will help Charlie Rangel keep track of all his money.
Also, we feel as though we’re a little overdue for some legislative nose-poking into accounting and auditing rules. Thankfully, the House Financial Services Committee is scheduled to revisit H.R. 2664 this week.
The Promoting Transparency in Financial Reporting Act would require annual testimony from the SEC, FASB, and PCAOB big wigs on accounting and auditing rules before the committee.
More legislative wisdom, after the jump


The testimony is supposedly going to enlighten the committee on progress of:

• Reassessing complex and outdated accounting standards;
• Improving the understandability, consistency, and overall usability of the existing accounting and auditing literature;
• Developing principles-based accounting standards;
• Encouraging the use and acceptance of interactive data; and
• Promoting disclosures in ”plain English”.

Excuse the cynicism, but since this particular bill’s title doesn’t include the words “patriot”, “American People”, or “anti-bonus”, there is virtually no opportunity for shameless grandstanding and most members of the committee will probably opt out of sitting in on the testimony.
That being said, the collective competence of the committee will increase exponentially if Maxine Waters is not in attendance so maybe our judgment is premature.
Promoting Transparency In Financial Reporting Act Up For Vote In Congress [FEI Blog]

Possible Confirmation for Your Unfounded Rumors about Partner Expenses

magic money.jpgThere’s a large misconception that partners and directors can run anything through on their expense reports. Lapdances, red meat at Bobby Van’s, shoes at Bergdorf’s, you know, the usual rumored fare.
Alleged abuse notwithstanding, one KPMG director in London has managed to live up to the reputation of flagrantly assaulting the expense reimbursement policy:
More, after the jump

Andrew Wetherall, a director at the firm, fraudulently claimed expenses to pay for holidays, cars, computers and even his divorce from his first wife. The 49-year-old also used them over five and a half years to keep his second wife happy by funding her £15,000-a-month lifestyle. Southwark crown court heard today how he falsely claimed £545,620.89, making several claims for flights abroad and expenses relating to business trips he never went on. After a boss raised the alarm, Wetherall initially claimed it was a mistake. But he owned up to the fraud after an internal probe.

We’re all for bending the rules for some bagels here and there but seriously. What did this guy spend his salary on? Did he have a Stevie Nicks-type coke habit? Whatever happened, all’s forgiven because according to the piece, Wetherall was “suspended by KPMG and has repaid more than £337,000.” It’s only money, right?
Accountant paid for divorce and holidays with £545,000 fraud [London Evening Standard]