Continuing with the theme of, "It's the end of the year so we have to compile posts that remind us of how bad it was," we're offering up nominees for accountant of the year. Now, the term "accountant," for the purposes of this post won't follow strict construction. For example, if you work for an accounting firm but aren't technically an accountant, you are still eligible. Also, groups of accountants are equally eligible. On the other hand, if you're a lobbyist that wields significant power over the progress (or lack thereof) of tax policy you are not eligible because that would be dumb. In other words, we're just making this shit up as we go along. Everyone cool with that? Great! Let's get to it.
Tara Reid's kinda-sorta-we're-really-not-sure husband, Zack Kehayov – Also one of our most popular stories of 2011, Mr. Bunny Lebowski exploded on to the scene when he went from travel companion to fiancé to husband in just a few hours. Of course we come to find out later that no one (i.e. Tara) is really sure what his officialy relationship status is with BL. ANYWAY, Zack is one of those not-really-an-accountant accountants but it would be silly for us to not include him purely based on celebrity status, which, as we all know, the real measure of importance in America.
That guy from PwC that was briefly on American Idol – Steve Beguhn was his name. Sure, he didn't last but he ended up entertaining everyone at a PwC town hall meeting which is way more we can say for some people.
Team In a JIT – If there were ever a video that set the bar for other Big 4 et al. employees who moonlight as music video producers, it would have to be the Flavia-hating boys from In a JIT. Cursing. Incorporating tools of the trade (file roller, JIT, copy machine). This lyric: "I'M THE KING OF EY; ON A JET LIKE TURLEY; YOU'RE IN PUBLIC ACCOUNTING, NO YOU AIN'T LEAVIN' EARLY." They all played a part in what equates to the Thriller of accounting music videos.
KPMG partners who didn't leave for PwC – We saw quite the migration of partners and directors from the House of Klynveld to their bigger, badder rival PwC. It was easy for us to learn about this exodus because, well, the P. Dubs communications team appears to have Tourette's. What we didn't hear about (aside from the PwC partners who weren't special enough to warrant PR activity) were the KPMG partners who managed to hold down the fort when they could have left for greener pastures. Prestige? Pffft. Less stress? Not interested. More money? Bah. KPMG owes the partners who chose Omaha Steaks over a potentially life changing career move a debt of gratitude.
The jaded CPA exam candidate – Last spring, many of you were anxiously waiting for your CPA exam scores and when the rumored release date passed with no scores to be found, people started having conniptions. The AICPA and NASBA responded on Facebook to clear the air but no one was having it. Adrienne tried to reason with everyone but again, the fury had taken hold of you like a platoon of demonic soldiers armed with automatic hellfire weapons. Since we may be mistaking "lunacy" for "passion" it would be inappropriate for us to not recongize your efforts (read: rants) of the past year. Well done, psychos.
Surely we've overlooked some worthy candidates but these all seemed appropriate. If we're missing someone, tell us below and vote in our poll so that we can decide this once and for all.
