KPMG Gives Employees Enough Ice Cream to Last Them a Week

Ice cream is the best. If you don't enjoy a cone now and then, you have no soul. Sure, 90% of the companies that produce it don't follow the rules that would prevent foodborne illnesses, but it's ice cream! If we can't enjoy ice cream, then the terrorists have won. Oh, and don't bitch to me about lactose intolerance; go get yourself some Coconut Bliss Dark Chocolate right this second and you can thank me later.

Few things can keep you clinging to your slowly disintegrating career at the House of Klynveld like ice cream. Maybe red meat, but we haven't received any news about that yet.

A couple of tips came in yesterday about the "Frozen Treats for the Amazing Feats" and here's the loot:

  • 12 Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia Ice Cream Bars
  • 12 Magnum Double Caramel Bars
  • 12 Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Fudge Brownie Mini-Cups

If ice cream is in my house, it more or less becomes a food group, so this would last at least a week. If you aren't happy with this gift or are an ungrateful brat, then get in touch and I'll tell you where you can send it.  As for the rest of you, go eat your Ben & Jerry's while I sit here wishing I was working at KPMG again.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, actually I would never wish to work at KPMG again, but seriously go get ice cream all over your stupid faces you lucky ducks.

Have something to add to this story? Give us a shout by email, Twitter, or text/call the tipline at 202-505-8885. As always, all tips are anonymous.

Related articles

By the Numbers: $2.06 Billion

That’s how much General Electric paid its longtime external auditor KPMG in fees from 2000 to 2019, according to an analysis of GE’s proxy filings for each of the past 20 years. GE dumped KPMG on June 22, ending an 111-year relationship. Deloitte will be GE’s new external auditor beginning in 2021. Here’s a breakdown of […]