September 17, 2019

Jim Turley Now Faces the Wrath of Chuck Norris

I guess when Boy Scouts of America board member Jim Turley spoke out about the Scouts' policy on gay participants in its questionably straight activities (dudes in scarves hanging out together in the forest? Come on), a bunch of people got upset. It's unfortunate we as a society aren't at a point where we can have a candid discussion about diversity and inclusion. We have a bunch of buzzwords to describe it, of course, but none capture the idea that human beings are – while created equal – also fascinatingly different.

Who expected Chuck Norris to get butthurt and accuse Turley of being a pro-Obama sin-pusher? That's kind of what I got from this.

Via Politico:

Chuck Norris speculated on Tuesday that the Obama administration had something to do with Boy Scouts of America board member James Turley's pledge to work to change the organization’s policy against gay scouts and leaders.
 
In a column for AmmoLand.com titled "Is Obama Creating a Pro-Gay Boy Scouts of America?," the '80s action star attempted to draw connections between Turley — the CEO of Ernst & Young — and the White House.
 
“Is it a coincidence that Turley is in tight cahoots with the White House and that he is the only BSA national board member in 100 years to oppose its pro-traditional family stance?” writes the "Walker, Texas Ranger" actor.

Oh man. All due respect to Chuck Norris but is he really prepared for the wrath of James Turley? I've seen that guy's meat paws (Turley's, that is), I wouldn't mess with him.

Chuck Norris may be able to roundhouse kick to the face better than anyone else on this planet but his conspiracy theories leave a lot to be desired, much like his 1991 film Delta Force 3. “Is it a coincidence that Turley just announced his resignation as CEO of Ernst & Young (effective Jun 2013) and that he is now offering the White House a parting pro-gay BSA gift in gratitude for all its presidential favors to him and Ernst & Young over the past few years?" he said. DAMN. That's harsher than a kick to the face.

Chuck Norris isn't the only one who has some facts, you know, Turley's got his own. In fact, I made a Tumblr to celebrate Jim Turley facts such as Jim Turley led a worldwide firm through a massive scandal and still makes time to hang out with the NY elite, Jim Turley's imposing jawline has its own spot on the Accounting Today Top 100, and of course the actual Jim Turley facts. If any Turley fans have any to add, please do so in the comments.

Meanwhile, we've long thought Jim Turley is making a run for political office. Actually taking up residence in the White House colon is a bit much, wouldn't you say? Even for Chuck Norris.

According to Politico, Jim Turley's handlers did not want to answer any of Chuck Norris's concerns.

Maybe we need a good old-fashioned Western duel down at 5 Times Square. Mano a mano.

No joke, Chuck Norris is seriously pissed off:

But is Turley working on his own initiative, or has the White House prodded him with perks and favors?

Is it a coincidence that Turley came out swinging against the BSA’s century-old policy to ban gays from leadership and that he has such close affiliations with the pro-gay Obama administration?

Is it a coincidence that Turley and his wife, Lynne, were just guests at a state dinner hosted by President Barack Obama and first lady Michelle Obama in honor of British Prime Minister David Cameron at the White House on March 14?

Oh wait, it gets better:

I’ll ask once more: Is it a coincidence that BSA national board member James Turley came out swinging against the BSA’s century-old policy to ban gays from leadership and that he has such close affiliations with the pro-gay Obama administration?

Coincidence? I'm not sure what Chuck means by that but more likely, Turley probably just wanted something good to rage against if he really is making a run for some kind of powerful political position post-Big 4. There's no bigger way to make a splash than to challenge an American institution's antiquated policy on a silly issue like gay people.

Comparing Turley and Obama, he goes on to say:

If two people think so much alike, you can bet that one person isn’t thinking. Or maybe a more fitting adage here might be this: You scratch my back, and I’ll scratch yours.

Everyone saw that, right? I'm pretty sure Chuck Norris just said Jim Turley is hooking up with Obama.

Your turn, Meat Paws.

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