November 13, 2018

If You’re Going to Commit Fraud, Avoid These Obvious Phrases In Your Company Email (Duh)

Our friend and ex Crazy Eddie CFO Sam Antar has a new bug up his criminal ass, and it's EY teaming up with the FBI to combat obvious fraud. Check this out from Compliance Week:

What do phrases such as "nobody will find out," "grey area,"and "they owe it to me" have in common?

According to research conducted by Ernst & Young in collaboration with the FBI, these phrases are among the top terms used by employees in emails discussing fraud. E&Y has developed software that companies can use to monitor employees' emails for these phrases and approximately 3,000 other words and phrases that are commonly used in emails by people committing fraud.

Well it's a good thing I didn't write "nobody will find out" in those first few emails to my boyfriend at the Federal Reserve, lest his employer discover that we've been banging each other all these years despite me being a known anti Fed troll. WHEW.

It continues:

E&Y says that the top 15 terms used by employees in emails discussing fraud are as follows:

  1. Cover up
  2. Write off
  3. Illegal
  4. Failed investment
  5. Nobody will find out
  6. Grey area
  7. They owe it to me
  8. Do not volunteer information
  9. Not ethical
  10. Off the books
  11. Backdate
  12. No inspection
  13. Pull earnings forward
  14. Special fees
  15. Friendly payments

Alright, maybe I shouldn't even ask this, but did Scott London use his KPMG email to arrange his "trade-offs"? That's a serious question. I mean what he did was brazen and all, and obviously he wasn't very good at it but COME ON.

Is anyone committing real fraud THAT stupid?? I mean really. I don't think even Sam Antar was that stupid and they all got caught.

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Is G to the T run by a secret group of Al Pacino-esque figures that are working against the forces of good?
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