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Here Are the Things the Accounting Profession Will Continue to Give Lip Service to in 2015

The accounting profession's "thought leaders" love to pay lip service to buzzwords and concepts that the rest of the world knew about before it was cool. While a new year is upon us, this tradition will continue on much like an incurable STD.

In the interest of helping you know what you should tune out in the year ahead, here are just a few things to which the profession will commit a lot of pointlessly flapping gums in 2015.

The Cloud

We get it, you use Google Drive. It's really not that big of a deal. As time goes on, it will be assumed that you are taking advantage of all the joys of the cloud — without feeling compelled to talk about it all the time. That day is not here yet.

Women

The profession loves to talk about diversity and inclusion and, of course, an offshoot of that is talking about women. Ladies. Chicas. Instead of trying to figure out why more young'uns — male and female — are less interested in chasing the carrot to partner in public accounting these days, expect the profession to dedicate a lot of brain power and lip service to women in the profession. Why aren't they staying to partner? Why aren't they having babies at 25? Why aren't they getting their CGMAs? WHY?? TELL US!!

Millennials

Until the last Baby Boomer has retired, expect to hear a lot about Millennials in the workplace. How to recruit them, how to keep them, how to speak to them, how to keep up with them, how to unravel the mystery that is them. One day, Millennials will have fully taken over the workplace and the profession will have moved on to complaining about Gen Z or whatever comes next but until that day, Millennials will still be the hot topic on every clueless pair of lips in the industry.

Disruptive Technology

Even the AICPA couldn't resist getting in a disruptive technology reference just before the year ended. The truly disruptive technology at this point would be an Internet-wide mute button that nukes any reference of disruptive technology. Don't expect that advance to come this year, though. In fact, we're thinking 2015 may bring more references to disruptive technology than ever seen before. You can pretty much assume these references will continue until you are replaced by robots, which is the most disruptive technology of all. Soon, people, soon.

Diversity

WE GET IT, you aren't racist. Congrats, profession! The more you talk about it, the more we wonder if secretly, maybe, you are a little racist on the inside. Just a little.

Audit Quality

Yes, Big 4 firms are committed to audit quality, whatever that empty, undefinable, ludicrous phrase means. Nothing accountants holding themselves to an immeasureable, dare we say, unaccountable standard.

Independence

Let us bear false witness to a standard that is impossible just by the nature of our business! 

Work-life Balance

In an attempt to pretend the problem has been solved, they changed the name of this awhile back from "flex time" to "work-life balance" but it's still the same old lip service it's always been to something unattainable due to the nature of the business. That won't stop the endless parade of press releases, tweets, and general lip flapping.

Talent

Let's be honest with ourselves, it doesn't take massive amounts of talent to carve out a decent career in accounting. A pulse and a brain does not talent make. But the profession will continue to pretend as though it is recruiting the best and brightest from Cal State Northridge while other professions take the Ivy League leftovers.

Did we miss anything? What do you think will be the most pointlessly discussed thing of 2015? Do tell.