Gursey Schneider Has Relaxed Their Dress Code in the Most Uptight Way Possible

I don’t think in the 10 years we’ve been running this rag we’ve ever mentioned Los Angeles accounting firm Gursey Schneider but that ends now and boy did they hit the ground running for their Going Concern debut. Huge thanks to a tipster who provided us with everything we needed to know about GS’s new Dress For Your Day policy and what promises to be its subsequent fallout as fashion-challenged staff struggle to determine appropriate workplace attire.

First, here’s the email that went out to staff announcing this exciting new policy.

All-

GS is pleased to announce our new “Dress For Your Day” policy. Please review the attached manual thoroughly to make sure you understand appropriate and inappropriate attire. If you are unsure it is always better to overdress than underdress. Historically, at times certain staff have pushed the envelope of appropriate attire based on our current dress code. However, please note our new policy will be enforced (including staff reporting through our anonymous Attire Alert link (https://www.gursey.com/attire-alert) or from the GS Intranet (https://gursey.sharepoint.com/sites/HR/Lists/Links/AllItems.aspx ) to make sure there is compliance.

Exciting! Jeans every day unless clients are roaming around! Maybe even a nice clean tee underneath a blazer if you’re feeling sassy. Sounds fun! But wait, what’s this?

We have learned through the success of the timesheet compliance program having a financial penalty does encourage compliance. Through 11/30/19, you will receive a courtesy notice (with no financial penalty) if you have non-compliant (inappropriate) dress attire. Depending on the severity of the inappropriate dress you could be sent home to change.

Remember just a paragraph before when they mentioned the snitching system? Yep, they’re counting on staff to rat each other out for their poor fashion choices. Snitch at the office! Snitch on the darkweb! Snitch on your phone in your downtime from watching porn in the office bathroom!

Moving on…

Effective 12/01/2019, we are implementing a financial penalty (proceeds will go to charity) identical to our late staff time sheet penalty for inappropriate dress attire to enforce compliance:

There will be a penalty of $100 for your first offense for an inappropriate dress attire notice and it will be progressive and cumulative on an annual basis (i.e. $100 for 1st offense, $200 for second offense, $300 for 3rd offense etc). Our hope is that this inappropriate dress attire penalty for charity will be impactful to encourage compliance.

The penalty will be assessed as a dollar for dollar reduction of what would be your discretionary year-end bonus. Please note there would not be situation where you would owe GS money back.

These penalties are not designed to save the firm money. It is designed to enforce compliance of appropriate workplace attire. As such, all penalties will be accumulated and donated by the firm to a worthy charity at year end.

Any questions please contact Anna C.

Thanks

Steve

God damn, Steve, you have absolutely no chill. $300 for ripped jeans? Good Lord, y’all must have some serious slobs working over there if you have this little faith in them to understand what “dress for your day” means. But just in case, they also put together a helpful PDF on the do’s and don’ts. Which…well… I don’t even know what to say here, you just kind of have to see it for yourself.

Dress for Your Day – Gursey by Adrienne Gonzalez on Scribd

I dunno, man, I’m not sure jeans are even worth all this.

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