So you’re an attorney for Goldman Sachs, married, three kids, live in WestchesterManhattan, life is pretty mundane. You’re probably getting a nice bonus this year, why not have a little fun?
So you “accidentally” stumble into a chat room. You start chatting innocently, with a fifteen year old girl, no big deal, just talking. You might make mention of a certain Jonas brother or whatever 15 year old girls are into. Then you start getting brave and might start asking about her VS Pink undies. Then you’re really feeling comfortable and start talking posish.
WHAM. Next thing you know, cops at the door, yelling, “you like VS Pink you pervert?!? You planning on doing a little wheelbarrow and switching it into a reverse cowgirl? Nice try SICKO!”
Then after six months in Chino Riker’s you’re walking door to door telling everyone you’re a pederast how you really like VS Pink undies.
UPDATE 1:47 PM: After further review, looks like the perv is a Manhattan resident and travelled to Westchester to seal the deal. Our bad. Anyway, turns out the guy was really just looking out for his fellow GS employees.
DA: Goldman Sachs lawyer Todd Genger caught soliciting ’15-year-old’ [NYDN]
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Editor’s Note: Want more JDA? You can see all of her posts for GC here, her blog here and stalk her on Twitter.
Over the weekend, I had the pleasure of speaking with Sam Antar of White Collar Fraud. I won’t give him too many props (lest he think his wily criminal charms got to me) but our conversation was both relevant and disconcerting.
In case you aren’t acquainted with Sam, he’s the ex Crazy Eddie CFO who ripped them off and now does speaking tours talking about, well, crime. But there’s a lot more than that at work here, that’s just his schtick.
So what did I learn?
I believe my editor thinks I’m a doom and gloomer so here’s some good news: besides suggesting we start training more qualified forensic auditors fresh out of school, Sam insists there is a chance for real financial reform.
Do you take your reform advice from an ex-criminal? I remind you here that a tax cheat is in charge of the IRS, do with that information what you will.
Anyway, the point here is that financial statements lack integrity. Without integrity, investors are groping in the dark and criminals are able to execute their schemes. Foreign investors are scrambling to leave US capital markets, could that be because our statements are – generally speaking – unreliable?
So. Sam’s 3 step plan to restoring sanity to financial statements. Take it for what it is.
1. Redefine audit committees as truly independent. No member of the audit committee should derive a salary or other compensation from stock options or stock holdings. Period.
2. Committee members should be qualified. CPAs and securities lawyers are qualified to sit on an audit committee, not marketing managers and other “average” sections of the corporate population.
3. Forensic accounting should be standard curriculum in university accounting programs. Don’t eliminate 404(b), if a corporation can’t afford the audits required to be a public company, then don’t become one.
We’ll have to agree to disagree on that final point, I don’t think tedious audits are the solution. However, perhaps if we had more qualified auditors out in the trenches, I might be inclined to be slightly less skeptical about the effectiveness of more softcore audits.
Stay tuned as we’ll be picking Sam’s brain again soon.
GC Posts Referencing Sam Antar:
Grant Thornton: Patrick Byrne’s Pants Are on Fire
Obvious Sign of Fraud: You’re Having Sex with the Client
(UPDATE 2) We Knew Accounting Firms Were Helping Haiti
We just had to ask. In response to our post from this morning we’ve received several emails about what firms have done so far in the response to the devastation that was caused by the earthquake in Haiti:
• Deloitte – The firm contributed $100,000 to the Red Cross and Deloitte professionals are encouraged to donate to either the Red Cross/International Response Fund (immediate disaster assistance) or to the United Way Worldwide Disaster Fund are for long-term relief efforts. Donations will be earmarked for Earthquake Recovery.
• Moss Adams – The Firm is matching 100% of employee contributions up to $100,000. As of today, partner and employee contributions amounted to $30,000 and the firm is matching these contributions with $30,000 donations to both the Red Cross and World Vision.
• Ernst & Young – The Firm has created the “Ernst & Young Haiti Earthquake Relief Fund” and donated to $100,000 to get things started. All the funds donated by the firm and its professionals will go directly to Save the Children, Doctors without Borders, and Partners in Health.
• BDO – Jeremy Newman posted today on his blog about the firm’s efforts, including the office in The British Virgin Islands.
• Grant Thornton – The firm is matching employee contributions up to $50,000. The funds will be donated to the Red Cross and The Salvation Army.
• McKonly & Asbury – Scott Heintzelman — The Exuberant Accountant — along with his fellow partners and employees are working with Hope International to raise funds for the relief efforts. A spokesperson for the firm told GC that the firm is expecting to raise several thousands dollars.
• Crowe Horwath – Matching employee contributions up to $50,000. All funds are going to the Red Cross and UNICEF.
Keep us updated with your firm’s efforts and we’ll continue to post them.
Footnotes: TurboTax Loves You; Audit Group Requests “Name and Shame”; Rich People Feeling Stunned | 04.14.14
TurboTax Conspiring To Keep You Hooked On TurboTax Tomorrow is the last day you can […]