After a sun-adverse family man tried to blow up the Viacom Building (and was close enough to E&Y to evacuate the area) and a former PwC Senior Manager was charged yesterday for supporting terrorism, now a taxi driver whose company serviced Deloitte in India has been arrested for attempting to set off a bomb in Hyderabad’s HITEC City:
Pakistan-based Lashkar-e-Taiba was planning bomb attacks on the HITEC City, a major IT township here, and the office of a multinational auditing firm.
Mohammad Zia Ul Haq, who was arrested yesterday following a tip off by the National Investigation Agency, was directed by his LeT handlers to bomb the Hyderabad office of Deloitte Touche Tohmatsu, one of the four largest auditors in the world, and was in the process of carrying out the plan, government sources said.
Interestingly, Haq works as a driver for a taxi service hired by Deloitte Touche Tohmatsu.
What kind a-holes do they have working at Deloitte in Hyderabad? Bad enough that this guy concluded that bombing a company that puts food in his mouth was an action that needed to be taken. Thankfully, they caught the guy.
Obviously the question now is, when does KPMG get its little terrorist related news?
LeT planning to attack Hyderabad’s HITEC City [Economic Times]
Let’s stop digging E&Y for five minutes and talk about Deloitte trying to sex itself up as tax advisory coaches to the group hoping to purchase Manchester United.
Deloitte, which has worked hard to build up its sporting credentials with its annual audits of football’s finances and consultancy work for a host of clubs, is understood to have become the latest big financial hitter to become associated with the Red Knights, the would-be buyers of Manchester United, in an advisory capacity.
Alongside Freshfields, which is supplying legal expertise, and Nomura, the Japanese investment bank that has been responsible for contacting all the 40 or so wealthy individuals who expressed concrete interest in the plan, Deloitte is believed to have been supplying advice on tax structures and how to structure any bid most efficiently.
Yeeeeeeeeeeah I can see it now, “casual football Friday” memos circulated around Deloitte’s UK offices about appropriate garb for the field and some hokey “We Are the World” sing-a-long at the end when Manchester United kicks whomever’s ass (I don’t watch the stuff). Excellent.
In the spirit of not discriminating when ripping on the Big 4, this Deloitte flick nearly brought me to tears. Maybe it was the faux hawk or the overgrown baby beard. Perhaps it was the fucking cape. You decide.
The Green Dot FTW!
Here we are, it’s April, and most of you are happy to be bored (relatively) at work for the first time in months. Now that your brain isn’t saturated with numbers and/or what you’ll eating at your desk, you may be weighing your options. As we’ve mentioned, Big 4 partners are expecting this and naturally they want to keep their top performers. How best can they do this? Bribery of course!
And at Deloitte, this method seems to be gaining steam. An accountant close to the situation gave us the rundown on the recognition programs at the firm:
• Applause Awards (whenever)
• Outstanding Performance Awards (whenever)
• Merit Bonuses (annual)
For the most part AAs ($100 to $500 – tax adjusted) and OPAs ($500 to $5,000 – non-tax adjusted) were frozen for the last 2 years; with MBs only being processed for 1s and sometimes 2s (we’re rated on a scale of 1 to 5 – 1 being the best, 5 the worst – with typically 5% 1s, 10% 2s, 80% 3s, 5% 4s and 5s).
Now that you have the background, there’s this:
Based upon what I’ve been hearing very recently, strong performers have been getting [Applause Awards] for $100 in the NE [Advisory] practice. In some limited instances, partners have also hinted at more money coming their way (seemingly in the [Outstanding Performance] realm). Seems like the partners are noticing that people, especially performers, are getting antsy; and are trying to keep the peace until compensations are adjusted in September…
Well! Good to see that Deloitte partners are taking their firm’s advice (combo of #2 and #5). This could work out well for those of you that are rockstars at Deloitte (and are easily swayed by monetary reward) but for the other 80% that fall into the unexceptional categories, you may just have the longer ladder to look forward to.
Continuing with Wednesday’s attempt to provide insight on some KPMG H.R. banter, I will try to do the same with a recent Deloitte press release.
What seems to be their attempt to provide the private sector advice on how to prevent an exodus of talent actually sounds like a fluffy internal HR memo. Perhaps the Big 4 should review Deloitte’s top ten list of ways to not get slaughtered by the ever-improving job market:
1. Take advantage of the continuing globalization of talent and leadership markets.
DWB – Raid your competitors of their best talent, downplayed earlier this week.
2. Know your critical leaders and most critical talent. Keep your talent pipeline robust enough to deliver those critical skills.
DWB – Pay your top performers in order to keep them happy. If they receive an offer elsewhere, counter-offer their asses. Because the only inevitable outcome is the loss of some talent, see #1.
3. Prepare for a workforce that is more mobile and quicker to pursue new career opportunities.
DWB – Keep tabs on your people. Job loyalty has gone the way of the
dinosaurs Baby Boomers. The “what’s in it for me” mentality is keeping job markets saturated with talented individuals looking for a better deal.
4. Tailor your strategies to address the generational and geographic diversity of your workforce.
DWB – Old people and young people don’t get along. They’ve never gotten along. They never will get along. Accept it and move on.
5. Show your employees both the money and the love. Communicate your employer brand as clearly to employees as you communicate your product brand to customers.
DWB – One part water plus two parts HR spin, stirred. Pour over ice. Serve.
6. Know what it takes to stay ahead of your competitors in retaining critical talent, developing new leaders, implementing workforce planning and driving innovation.
DWB – I don’t have a clue what you’re supposed to learn from this. Money is the main driving force. Money makes people dance for joy or jump ship. If your retained talent is net positive, suhhhweeet.
7. Create clear career paths for employees at all levels.
DWB – I like this one if implemented correctly. The traditional career trajectories are well known; communicate practice-to-practice and geographic rotations. Change – even short term – can refresh one’s career and create a greater sense of loyalty to the firm.
8. Align your leadership development programs with your long-term business goals.
DWB – Every firm has ‘the chosen ones” and invests in additional training, retreats, and leader cultivation courses. This should come as no surprise.
9. Know the real impact of talent retention and voluntary turnover on your bottom line.
DWB – Newsflash: it is not cheap to replace talent. Considering most hires begin their careers as interns, we’re talking years of financial investment in every staff member. From pen giveaways to amusement park tickets, there’s a steep price for every staff member lost!
10. Be a beneficiary — not a victim — of the resume tsunami.
DWB – Perhaps you should revisit point #1.
You don’t need to tell Jim Quigley that it’s only a matter of time before Deloitte is the largest accounting firm ON EARTH.
In a Q&A with India’s Business Standard, Quigs was asked about the shrinking gap and you better believe the man is all over it like a hard-hitting interview at Davos: