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Area Man Who Probably Cut Out His Own Tongue, Allegedly Murdered His Neighbor, Adds Tax Evasion to Dubious Behavior

Posted on by Caleb Newquist

Great find by Joe Kristan who would have no problem jumping on the New York Post’s headline desk.

This could only happen in the South:

A murder suspect accused of cutting out his own tongue has been arrested for tax evasion.

The Mobile County District Attorney’s office says Michael Crocker and his wife, Donna, didn’t pay taxes on $1 million they earned from their waste burning plant in Mount Vernon.

[…]

Investigators learned about the tax evaision while investigating Crocker for the murder of Stephen O’Neal Perret. Perret was found shot to death in a work truck near his Citronelle home on August 17, 2007. Perret was Crocker’s neighbor and the plant manager at Vulcan Industrial Services, Crocker’s company.

One day after Perret’s funeral, Crocker called 911 and said someone cut out his tongue, but police believe Crocker cut out his own tongue.

Accused Tongue Cutter Arrested Again [WKRG via Tax Update Blog]

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Reminder: Your Super Bowl Gambling Winnings Are Taxable

So it’s the Monday after the Super Bowl and most of you are suffering from some kind of hangover. Whether it was caused by food, booze or you’re simply wallowing in a lack of a Peyton Manning comeback, this day should really be a national holiday (even non-football fans can agree on that notion).

Melancholy, indigestion and cocktail flues aside, the other certainty that comes with the SB is gambling. And we’re not talking friendly-poker-game gambling, we’re talking recklessly wagering on every single aspect of the biggest spectacle in sports gambling.


Two of the most creative wagers we’ve seen so far was the betting on rating for the Focus on the Family (featuring Tim Tebow and Mamma Tebow!) ad and the betting the spread between Kim Kardashian’s measurements and Reggie Bush’s rushing and receiving production. Both of which are completely ridiculous, yet sheer genius.

Regardless of where you put your money yesterday (we took the overs on Archie Manning appearances and lost), there are plenty of big winners from yesterday’s game. And now that we have a government who is feverishly trying to close a deficit gap, the question remains: will the IRS more aggressively pursue taxpayers for their unreported gambling winnings?

If you’re a degenerate loser than this obviously doesn’t apply to you but if you’re lucky enough to find some extra scratch in your pocket, you’re legally obligated to report that income next year.

Our government is looking for solutions anywhere possible, so it’s entirely possible that you could find yourself on the wrong end of an IRS-issued shotgun if you’re leaving your winnings off next year’s 1040. Look, it’s not that crazy and the pols need all the ideas they can get. You’ve been warned.