Apparently Some KPMG U.K. Employees Were Pissing or Pooping (or Both) In a Work Bathroom Sink

So yesterday the BBC posted an article about the shitty bathroom etiquette of some employees at the Financial Conduct Authority, the regulator of the financial services industry in the U.K. And I’m not trying to be funny when I use the word “shitty.” People were “defecating on the floor in toilet cubicles,” according to FCA Chief Operating Officer Georgina Philippou.

Articles on bad bathroom behavior at work are fun to read. We’ve had some fun with it over the years too. But halfway through the BBC article, this gem appeared and caught my attention:

Bosses at audit giant KPMG were also forced to warn staff about their conduct at work in 2018.

An email to workers at its Reading office seen by the BBC warned: “We have had some incidents recently where the first floor accessible toilet sink is being used as a toilet, not for urinating.

“This is not the behaviour we expect from KPMG staff.”

OK, hold up. After reading the email, I assumed that guys were just urinating in the sink, that the person who wrote this should have said about the sink “it is not for urinating.” But you could also read it as the sink was used as a toilet, and it was not for urinating, which would leave you to believe that people were dropping their pants and dropping a deuce in the sink.

The other thing is, the BBC left out this part of the email in its article: “[We] ask you to remind your teams to be respectful of others when using the facilities in the office; the cleaning team are having to clean this and are being put at risk in doing so.” (emphasis added)

Wouldn’t it be riskier for a person to clean someone’s crap out of a sink than clean urine? I’m thinking people were peeing and taking dumps in the sink.

Back to the BBC article:

A KPMG spokesperson told the BBC: “This was an isolated incident which occurred in one of our offices well over a year ago and was clearly totally unacceptable.

“Where there is behaviour that falls short of the standards we expect we are quick to call it out, as we have done here.”

I pee in the shower all the time, but it’s my shower and I don’t share it with anyone else in my house. But even at my drunkiest, I don’t think I’ve ever peed or crapped in a sink, let alone a public bathroom or work bathroom sink. But you be you, KPMG Reading.

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