Alright, folks, we have a problem. I'm going to waste precious space here (not to mention my time) explaining how to get the most out of the GC tip box since it seems many of you have never interacted with human beings before and don't get how this works.
First: let me kick this off by saying we have no problem with you all sending grievances via the tip box since it all ends up in the same place anyway, which is usually our trash folder. But if you truly have an issue with how we operate this site, at least have the balls to send an email using your real email or, lacking that, a made up Yahoo email. "Eat shit" has been done (a lot), however, so if you're going to be rude, at least try to be unique. That's not asking much, is it? I'd love to get a "you should eat shit and here is why" manifesto that better explains why you think I'm an asshole so I can adjust if I care to over a generic "you suck" email any day.
Anyway. Let's say you have some juicy piece of gossip to share. AWESOME, we want it! Believe it or not, we do actually research tips when possible so if you send us a lead we can follow (the alleged Deloitte pervert is a perfect example of this), please at least do us the favor of pointing us in the right direction. Since most of you didn't take Journalism 101 (who did?), I'll make it simple for you: who, what, where, when and why. If you're missing the why or the when, at least try to come through on the other three. Adding as many details as possible only increases the chances that we'll be able to harass the correct HR departments accordingly so please, for the love of sweet baby Jesus, give us something to work with before you waste everyone's time including your own.
NOTE: Attaching your email address does NOT mean we will publish your address. In fact, if you search this site going back the almost three years it has existed, I don't believe there is a single instance of us actually fronting off a source. There's no reason to do so. That said, if you're smart, you'll refrain from giving us your work email as it might look a little suspect if someone at your firm actually reads your emails and finds you cozying up to degenerates like us. Gmail is free, kids, let's be smart here. Attaching your email does allow us the opportunity to follow up with you for more information if we need it, which we usually do based on the hardly-English tips some of you like to send in. That does not mean Colin and I will publicly berate you on Twitter using information we've gleaned from your email addresses so please, let us follow up with you if we need to. Have you heard of Mailinator? TRY THAT. Christ. I'm over this shit.
Now, in order to prove what shitty tips are, I'm going to have to publish some. See if you can guess what is absolutely wrong about the following:
HAVE BIG 4 BEOME THE AUDITOR OF CONVENIENCE, SPECIFICALLY DELOITTE AND PWC.
Huh? That's not even English! I'll forgive the beome and buy you a consonant on my own dime but WHAT, BRO?! I can't even read that. And I read Internet. And troll. This is neither. Y U NO EXPLAIN WHAT U MEANT?
Now, here's a good tip. It has a link I can click on and some bullshit about Australia so I can ignore it if I don't care about our minimal international audience. AWESOME.
Back to bad.
Tip: eat shit
Alright, this was really funny the first time I saw it. By the 15th time, I resented that these people couldn't come up with something better. Come on, it's a wide open tip box. Then again, why would you use your best insults in private when you could lob them at us in the comments? I guess I never got the point.
Another bad one:
Tip: attire for accountants… www.indochino.com
Presumably, this was meant in response to the thread about how shitty accountants dress. I doubt Colin even saw this and I certainly wasn't going to publish it so why even send it to us? Put that in a comment and be on your way. That isn't a tip, we could Google that too if we felt like continuing this conversation we already regretted starting. Yeah right. Learn appropriate placement of tips already, WTF.
Here's an example of barely coherent that we'll take:
Tip: I know each message is like a messaging forum, but why the HELL do you guys not have a goingconcern messaging forum where people can choose what they want to talk about and ask questions to a forum and still keep up with your news…. WE WILL KEEP READING THE NEWS
And then there is the Jolly Rancher story. Awful. But an admirable attempt to gross me the fuck out. Well played. If 5% of tips are that, 50% are actionable, 10% are spam and the remainder are gibberish, I'm OK with that. As is, I'm getting "eat shit" 5 times a day, a few crazy right-wing tax guys rambling in the tip box like it's a direct line to Rush Limbaugh and maybe 5% actionable items. Give us something to go on. Please. Colin and I can barely get in to the PCAOB as is (somehow we managed it) so we rely on you to tell us where the weird shit is happening.
If you need us to set up an open source Instagram for you assholes to take pics of your bizarre working situations, we'll do that as long as it doesn't violate AICPA ethics rule 301: A member in public practice shall not disclose any confidential client information without the specific consent of the client.
If you don't make this easier for us, we can't make it better for you. I'm not sure how else I can explain that to you all.