September 21, 2019

Accounting Firm Discovers One Weird Trick to Save on Rent, Landlords Hate Them

It’s no secret that public accounting comes with long hours. Maybe not as grueling as, say, working on an Alaskan fishing boat, but long nonetheless. In some ways it’s a commonly-understood dirty little secret; everyone expects it but recruiters don’t like to talk about it.

Maybe that’s why we found this blog post by Texas firm Weinstein Spira & Company, P.C. so deeply … unsettling. Long hours are like that crazy relative who “moved cross-country” you never talk about — everyone knows that aunt or uncle actually went nuts or I dunno, hacksawed a bunch of people to death and went to prison or died clutching a bottle of Taaka vodka in a ditch somewhere, but no one talks about it.

Home Sweet Desk

You can already tell where this is going. Someone thought it was a good idea to turn a post about making your workspace more comfortable into a bizarrely self-aware declaration of long hours in the workplace.

Writes tax accountant Jessica Correll:

As a tax accountant, I virtually “live” in my office. It’s like a home away from home! Unlike field auditors, who sometimes work onsite at client locations, tax accountants can be found sitting in their own office working on client tax returns in a comfortable, familiar environment.

I get it. Every desk job I’ve had involved personalizing my space pretty much immediately. It would start innocently enough with a tchotchke here and there, then next thing I knew my various collections would cover my desk in rubber ducks, Federal Reserve mugs, and pictures of my cat. Assuming the office allows it, I don’t see an issue because of course I don’t. Let’s move on.

Personalizing one’s office is actually encouraged when spending so much time at your desk, especially during the busy tax season. I make sure I have the following “essential” items within arm’s reach:

  • 10-key calculator
  • Cell phone stand and extra phone charger
  • Earphones
  • Coffee mugs and water tumbler (to stay awake/hydrated)
  • Energy snacks and condiments
  • Mini desk fan (for hot days or white noise)
  • Blanket (for chilly days)

As someone who is known for keeping a drawer full of mayonnaise packets at the office (back when I had one, anyway), I’m on board with most of this, but a blanket? Really? Now you’re taking this home away from home thing a little too far. Next thing you know your office will be covered in Live Laugh Love pillows and tacky HomeGoods knick-knacks.

Home Sweet Desk

Oh.

For extra comfort, I keep framed photos of my pets, friends and family right on my desk; with some artwork hanging on the wall for decoration. Another environmental plus is having one or more plants surrounding you, like my favorite succulent.

I mean, at this point why even pay rent at your apartment? Just slap an air mattress under your desk and resign yourself to many long, lonely nights curled up with your spreadsheets for warmth. Imagine the money you’ll save by not wasting it on tedious things like a home and electric bills. Hell, put a litter box in the corner and let your cat move in, too. Surely the firm won’t mind as long as you’re meeting those critical utilization goals.

What happened to the good old days when cubicles were sparse like jail cells rather than decked out like bad Bed Bath & Beyond displays? JUST GO HOME.

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