August 21, 2018

5 Weird Benefits of Ditching the Accounting Office and Working Remotely

weird benefits of working remotely

Spend more time with family. Lose the commute. Work flexible hours. Wear what you want.

By now you’re more than familiar with the typically-cited benefits of working remotely. So we’re not gonna write that article, because you can read that anywhere.

Instead, we’re gonna grab our trusty football bat, gather up some three-dollar bills, and get weird. Here are some of the stranger reasons to ditch the office and work remotely:

1) Develop stronger relationships with your local food delivery people

Working from home affords you the schedule flexibility to go grocery shopping more often and prepare delicious, nutritious meals for the entire family every night. Or you can have a leisurely lunch at a nice restaurant, taking your time to enjoy yourself rather than grabbing a sandwich and rushing back to the office.

But if you’re like me, you won’t do either of those things. One of the greatest benefits of working remotely is not having to leave the house. And why would you ruin all of that nice-not-leaving-the-houseness by leaving the house to get food?

Instead, you’ll order delivery. A lot. And you won’t be alone. Some company called Cowen predicted a 79% surge in the total U.S. food delivery market by 2022, from $43 billion to $76 billion, for whatever that’s worth.

DoorDash, Grubhub, CitySpree, Eat24, Jimmy John’s, and whatever pizza and Chinese joints are close to your house–these are your new best friends. As you use them more often, you’ll begin to know the delivery drivers by name.

This can lead to new friendships or, if you’ve got game like Jesus Shuttlesworth, a blossoming romance. Just invite them in to play Xbox and see where it goes. Hopefully not toward a restraining order.

2) Work at whatever trendy nonsense desk configuration that is supposedly good for you without anyone laughing

First it was the bouncy ball seat, but we all know what happened to that.

Now there’s the standing desk which, according to the experts at Healthline, decreases your risk of weight gain, lowers your blood sugar (and that’s … good?), shrinks your risk of heart disease, prevents back pain, improves your mood and energy levels, boosts productivity, and even makes you live longer.

I mean, whatever. They could say standing at my desk all day would make 1,000 swimsuit models magically materialize in my room, and I’d still be too lazy to do it.

I’ve seen someone using a standing desk exactly once, and my reaction was, “What a courageous guy. Here’s a man who’s so dedicated to his health and virility, he’s taken the trouble to jack up his desk and is willing to stand all day no matter what his coworkers think.”

Just kidding. My first thought was, “This guy looks like an idiot.”

But when you work from home, you don’t have to worry about judgmental glares from jerks like me. You can work while standing up, doing the crab walk, or hanging from the ceiling like Tom Cruise in that one movie that was OK but really confusing, but at least it spawned a great series of sequels. And no one will ever know.

Except you. You’ll know. You’ll always know.

3) Play the afternoon game of HQ Trivia

I can’t find any current user stats about the smartphone app phenomenon HQ Trivia. Best I can do is this article from January 2018 about them breaking their record with 1.2 million users in a single game. I know from personal experience they’ve since shattered that number, with more than 2 million playing in some of the higher-dollar games.

While mostly known for its prime-time 8 p.m. show featuring the Quiz Daddy, the Trap Trebek, the Host Malone, the Quiz Khalifa, Scott Rogowsky, the service also runs a daily afternoon show at 3 p.m. ET. If thinking, “They used to have an afternoon show but they got rid of it,” you’ve just been eliminated–while HQ Trivia took its tea time game off the schedule for awhile, it’s back now (and dumber than ever, with easier questions and just eight answers required to win).

It’s safe to say that the greatest problem facing the American office worker over the last several months has been the inability to play the 3 p.m. HQ Trivia game, at least not without hiding in the bathroom for 15 minutes.

But when you work remotely, the trivia world is your oyster. You can play every day, racking up prizes of literally singles of dollars. Perhaps enough to tip your food delivery driver, if nothing else.

4) Avoid long lines at the movies

There’s a clip from “Seinfeld” where Jerry says this better than I can, but I can’t find it so here goes:

I hate saving movies for people.

The idea that you’re supposed to wait until a friend or loved one is available to go with you to see a movie is appalling to me. I just don’t have the patience for it. When I’m ready to see the movie, I’m ready to see the movie. If someone else is available to go with me, that’s great. But if not, I’ll happily go by myself.

I’m not totally without a sense of social shame, though. When I go to the movies by myself, I like to go in the afternoon. That way there’s less of a chance of being spotted by someone I know.

When you work from home, you can see movies during the day. You can avoid long lines and big crowds and truly enjoy the movie. And if you did promise to wait to see it with someone else, you can always lie to them and go see it again.

5) Abuse your home office privileges to avoid spending time with your family

Many remote workers with families set strict policies about their in-home working space. When Mommy or Daddy is in the office with the door shut, no one is to come in unless it’s an emergency. This allows you to concentrate on your work without the fear of constant interruption.

But there’s nothing in the rulebook that says you can’t go into the office, shut the door, and play Candy Crush for four hours. That’s mostly because a remote work rulebook doesn’t exist yet, but semantics.

The point is, having an in-home sanctuary from the rest of the family offers benefits outside of work. Whether you choose to take advantage of those benefits depends on your moral compass (or lack thereof.)

What are some weird reasons you enjoy working remotely? Sound off in the comments to let us know.

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2 Comments

  1. This article appears to be a comedic take on a hot button issue to which many articles on Going Concern and other publications have been devoted in recent year. My position all along is that “working from home” is bullshit. All the points in the above article support my position.

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