September 23, 2018

Let’s Revel in These Bitter 1-Star Reviews of Accounting Firms

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I mentioned the Vault Accounting 50 yesterday, and even though we don’t pore over the listings like we used to, there’s still one part of them that we haven’t tired of yet: bitter 1-star reviews of accounting firms. So yes, I dug through the 1-star reviews of a few dozen accounting firms for an hour just so we could enjoy them together on a Friday afternoon. Isn’t that nice? Yes. It is. Anyway, here we go.

KPMG — Full disclosure: I used to work at KPMG, so one of my former colleagues or I could’ve easily uttered any of these, but they’re all dated 2017, so probably not. Good to see not much has changed.

Good for this person who’s trying to be positive:

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This one’s a classic argument against working at any Big 4 firm:

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This next one is terrible advice. “Come to this place where you’ll be unhappy for as long as you’re here so that you can be less miserable in the job after that.” I’m relieved that no one found this review helpful.

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Here’s the Hemingway of the bunch:

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Okay, that’s enough picking on KPMG. Look at this epic review for EY. Yikes.

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Did I mention Hemingway earlier? That was downright verbose compared this one on Moss Adams (yeah, it’s from 2015, but who cares):Moss-Adams-Vault-Careers-1

And here are a couple (also dated) from Friedman, LLP that are dripping with acrimony:

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If this sounds like you or anyone you know, maybe it’s time for a vacation.

Past bitterness:

These 1-Star Reviews of Accounting Firms Are The Saddest, Best

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SHOCKER: Number of Fraud Cases in the Courts is High

In probably the most shocking news of the day, KPMG’s “fraud barometer” reports that the number of fraud cases in UK courts in the first six months of the year are the highest since the firm started issuing the report, 21 years ago.
Here in the states, the big sexy fraud gets all the attention but there is plenty of small fraud to go around. Plus, the bright side is, we’ve haven’t seen anything yet:

“These figures are bad, but the worst is yet to come,” Hitesh Patel, a partner at KPMG, said. “It will be a number of years before the impact of the recession fully feeds through into the fraud statistics.”

So our advice would be for any of you that are nervous about layoffs, look into getting transferred to the forensic accounting practice. You won’t be out of work any time soon.
Record total of fraud cases in court – and worse to come [FT.com]

Promotion Watch: KPMG

Forgive us for being a little behind on this, we’re still twisting arms out there:
On July 15th, the Radio Station announced the promotion of 874 new Senior Managers and Managers. This compares to 1,228 that got the bump last year.
Some might say that there were less people up for promotion this year, hence the drop. Others might say “that’s because I got the axe and now live on government cheese”.
Click on the image below for a full-size view of the announcement (please note the crookedness as a sign of authenticity). Anyway, congrats to all the new taskmasters managers at KPMG!
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