When informing people that, despite their best efforts, they don't have what it takes to be a resident of the House of Klynveld, management has decided that a pre-recorded message will be best in avoiding uncomfortable situations:
It's been quite some time since we checked in with our friends across the pond and since many of you may be dealing with client relation issues yourself, this seems like as good of an opportunity to discuss all the fun you're having.
Some of you people have aspirations to start your own firm one day. We think that's great and your career/life path will take many twists and turns on the way to becoming your own (wo)man.