Team, KPMG has submitted a challenge to its employees in the Florida/Carolinas/Puerto Rico neck of the woods, and we felt compelled to include the rest of you, just for the sake of expanding the brain pool:
Name the Business Unit Contest
January 22, 2010
How do you describe the most scenic business unit in the nation? From the mountains and outer banks of Carolina to the Everglades and beaches of Florida and the rain forests and blue waters of Puerto Rico, we have it all!
As the former FBU and CBU business units come together, we thought it would be fun to invite each of you to participate in a contest to name the new BU. In addition to bragging rights, a prize will be awarded to the person who submits the winning name.
Remember…be creative and have fun!
Send your ideas to US-FBU CSS COMM Leadership Mailbox by Friday, January 29, 2010. A prestigious selection committee will make the final selection and the winner will be announced by Friday, February 5, 2010.
Lost of questions here: 1) It’s busy season; between reading this fine publicaion, trying to get laid, and wallowing in disappointment, who has time to come up with name for the FlorinasRico business unit? 2) Who’s on the prestigious selection committee and how did they get this cushy gig? 3) Does Phil Mickelson figure into this prize in any way, shape or form? 4) If yes, will Tim Flynn be caddying for you, Phil or both?
You’ve only got until Friday to submit ideas, so we suggest you get on this ASAP.
Yesterday we shared with you at least one person’s opinion about how quitting the Big 4 is a little like leaving Ike Turner. If that name doesn’t mean anything to you, insert Jon Gosselin. Get it now?
As accurate as that may be (and certainly not a laughing matter), we can’t help but think there are other metaphors that you’ve heard that you might want to share here.
Of course there’s the proverbial pimp/whore relationship but that’s played. Get the team together and come up with something good. We’ve got E&Y tchotchkes to give away as prizes (don’t let that dissuade you E&Y peeps, we’ll come up with something).
We’ll give you a couple of options to work with:
1. Working in the Big 4 is like…
2. Leaving the Big 4 is like…
Annnd go.
Friends, you may not be aware of it but the current decade is closing fast. This means several things, a few of which are worth mentioning here: 1) Many of you will embark on this new decade inching ever closer to your first mid-life crisis 2) Many of you will enter a new decade and still not have your CPA despite posing as one for the last 3 – 5 years. 3) Ubiquitous “[insert anything here] of the decade” lists.
Now you may also be aware how we here at GC feel about lists. Not typically a fan. However, considering the historical significance of the end of the ‘0Xs (what the hell is this decade called?) and the fact that we don’t feel like working too hard today, we will now request your nominations for the “Accountants of the Decade”.
We’re looking for those CFOs, CPAs, etc. etc. that defined the decade for you, for better for worse. One possible nom is the man you see pictured here, the oddly stunning yet diabolical Andy Fastow. If you’re not familiar with AF, then please slap yourself.
A few things: 1) No obscure nominations. Your Intermediate Accounting Prof who was constantly eating star mints and wore warmup pants to class doesn’t count. Celebrity CPA Review instructors, on the other hand, are acceptable. 2) CFOs in form but not in substance are acceptable (e.g. Erin Callan). 3) Don’t blow this off. It’s important.
So fire away, and feel free to make an argument. If you’ve got a favorite picture with your nomination, kindly pass it along and we’ll include it if we end up putting this to a vote. We’ve got less than three weeks until the ball drops so get on it.
Klynveldians have been warned about certain software that should not, under any circumstances, be downloaded by any of you:
In the firm’s defense — and since they didn’t mention it — many of these programs are used by you to waste precious billable hours complaining to each other about a myriad of things including why the Phil Mickelson hats only come in black and white and where Tim Flynn and John Veihmeyer buy their suits (we hear Marshall’s but that could be total bupkis).
Furthermore, we’re not going to sit here and say that none of these programs present a legitimate risk. That would be foolhardy and insensitive.
What we do wonder about is what “disciplinary action” involves. Feel free to wildly speculate on this in the comments.
Don’t forget to submit your captions for last Friday’s contest. We’ll take submissions through midnight tonight and run the poll tomorrow morning.
In the spirit of what appears to be survey week, we’re honoring requests to do our own survey. Plus we’ve been inspired by some questions that we’ve seen in the comments.
We’ve presented a few questions for you to answer, after the jump. Feel free to add your more appropriate “D” answer to any of them. We also encourage you to keep submitting your questions with multiple choice responses.
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In these tough times, office pranks are the perfect remedy for all the bad attitudes out there. Except for you no-fun-under-any-circumstances types.
From an E&Y office in (we’re assuming) the Northeast:
our latest prank was to get the nascar fan in the office a thrill by putting a race car bed over his cube when he returned from his trip to dover for the weekend with some co-workers for the Dover 400 race.
Photos, after the jump
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We’ll assume everybody is down with the KPMG Pomeranian and Uncle Dangle for Deloitte. If not, speak now or shut your pieholes.
There’s some resistance to the idea of famous Governor banger, Ashley Dupre, being worthy of the PwC Mascot.
Frankly, since P. Dubs has made some feel like prosties already and has also shown that, as firm, they don’t mind whoring themselves out for some scratch, the argument can easily be made that Ashley is the perfect mascot. On the other hand, the point has been made, and is duly noted, that high-priced call girls are much cooler than any accounting firm.
So you see the problem here but it’s not our decision. We’ll leave it up to you. State your submission for the PwC mascot and give a brief explanation for said suggestion in the comments.
Keep it clever people, mascots already assigned to any other team or organization will be ignored with extreme prejudice. On with it then.
All right people, it’s gotten to the point where we need to know some things about you. TPTB kindly ask that you take a short, perfectly harmless survey.
Your participation is strongly encouraged because 1) you get to tell us how you really feel and B) we asked Chuck for a favor and he’s agreed to track down those of you that don’t play ball.
Personally, unless you’re Natalie Gulbis, we’re not interested but we don’t call the shots around here. Oh, and if you participate, you have a chance to win $100 AMEX gift certificate, which sure beats the hell out of a sharp stick in the eye.
We appreciate your participation.
