And finger quotes are obviously an effective way of communicating.
Waste Some Billable Hours
As you may or may not be aware, it’s Deloitte’s 11th Annual Impact Day today:
“Deloitte is providing hundreds of nonprofit leaders from across the country with valuable counsel to help them deal with common business challenges, at no cost.”
That’s right friends, no one is – gasp – billing time! It’s a 100% green dot free-for-all across this great land.
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Deloitte
Deloitte’s World Cup Fantasy League Will Ensure That No One Gets Any Work Done for a Month
By Caleb Newquist
Barry Salzberg's #1 pick
Deloitte is officially the first Big 4 firm to succumb to their World Cup fever. Understanding that a large portion of its 160,000-ish employees will be completely unproductive for the next month, rather than take reactionary measures, D has instead decided to encourage participation the Deloitte World Cup Fantasy League.
Since we’ve been out of the number crunching biz on a day to day basis, our reaction to the 16,000 attempts by an SEC accountant to access porn was simply, “Holy shit, that’s a lot.”
Team, KPMG has submitted a challenge to its employees in the Florida/Carolinas/Puerto Rico neck of the woods, and we felt compelled to include the rest of you, just for the sake of expanding the brain pool:
Name the Business Unit Contest
January 22, 2010
How do you describe the most scenic business unit in the nation? From the mountains and outer banks of Carolina to the Everglades and beaches of Florida and the rain forests and blue waters of Puerto Rico, we have it all!
As the former FBU and CBU business units come together, we thought it would be fun to invite each of you to participate in a contest to name the new BU. In addition to bragging rights, a prize will be awarded to the person who submits the winning name.
Remember…be creative and have fun!
Send your ideas to US-FBU CSS COMM Leadership Mailbox by Friday, January 29, 2010. A prestigious selection committee will make the final selection and the winner will be announced by Friday, February 5, 2010.
Lost of questions here: 1) It’s busy season; between reading this fine publicaion, trying to get laid, and wallowing in disappointment, who has time to come up with name for the FlorinasRico business unit? 2) Who’s on the prestigious selection committee and how did they get this cushy gig? 3) Does Phil Mickelson figure into this prize in any way, shape or form? 4) If yes, will Tim Flynn be caddying for you, Phil or both?
You’ve only got until Friday to submit ideas, so we suggest you get on this ASAP.
Friends, you may not be aware of it but the current decade is closing fast. This means several things, a few of which are worth mentioning here: 1) Many of you will embark on this new decade inching ever closer to your first mid-life crisis 2) Many of you will enter a new decade and still not have your CPA despite posing as one for the last 3 – 5 years. 3) Ubiquitous “[insert anything here] of the decade” lists.
Now you may also be aware how we here at GC feel about lists. Not typically a fan. However, considering the historical significance of the end of the ‘0Xs (what the hell is this decade called?) and the fact that we don’t feel like working too hard today, we will now request your nominations for the “Accountants of the Decade”.
We’re looking for those CFOs, CPAs, etc. etc. that defined the decade for you, for better for worse. One possible nom is the man you see pictured here, the oddly stunning yet diabolical Andy Fastow. If you’re not familiar with AF, then please slap yourself.
A few things: 1) No obscure nominations. Your Intermediate Accounting Prof who was constantly eating star mints and wore warmup pants to class doesn’t count. Celebrity CPA Review instructors, on the other hand, are acceptable. 2) CFOs in form but not in substance are acceptable (e.g. Erin Callan). 3) Don’t blow this off. It’s important.
So fire away, and feel free to make an argument. If you’ve got a favorite picture with your nomination, kindly pass it along and we’ll include it if we end up putting this to a vote. We’ve got less than three weeks until the ball drops so get on it.
Klynveldians have been warned about certain software that should not, under any circumstances, be downloaded by any of you:
In the firm’s defense — and since they didn’t mention it — many of these programs are used by you to waste precious billable hours complaining to each other about a myriad of things including why the Phil Mickelson hats only come in black and white and where Tim Flynn and John Veihmeyer buy their suits (we hear Marshall’s but that could be total bupkis).
Furthermore, we’re not going to sit here and say that none of these programs present a legitimate risk. That would be foolhardy and insensitive.
What we do wonder about is what “disciplinary action” involves. Feel free to wildly speculate on this in the comments.
Don’t forget to submit your captions for last Friday’s contest. We’ll take submissions through midnight tonight and run the poll tomorrow morning.
In the spirit of what appears to be survey week, we’re honoring requests to do our own survey. Plus we’ve been inspired by some questions that we’ve seen in the comments.
We’ve presented a few questions for you to answer, after the jump. Feel free to add your more appropriate “D” answer to any of them. We also encourage you to keep submitting your questions with multiple choice responses.
