Workout buddies
Yes. You. Spending day after day at that desk, consuming a steady diet of red meat, bagels loaded with cream cheese that is going straight to your [insert problem area] and, of course, caffeine. Sweet, sweet caffeine.
It all adds up to a bunch of tubby Klynveldians, and tubby = not happy. This is not lost on the leadership at KPMG. They want you to know that they want to help you lose that paunch ASAP and they are prepared to offer you a human being to assist you.
“I do plan to return to golf one day, I just don’t know when that day will be.”
~ Tiger Woods
This is for you Klynveldians!
When our Olympic Fever started last weekend, we had no idea what would happen. Sure there would be torches, majesty and endless montages but if you had told us that we would discover that KPMG has got dibs on a marketing dynamo like Alexandre Bilodeau, we would have said NFW.
AB was the first gold medalist for Canada in the Vancouver games. He won the Freestyle Men Ski competition on Sunday and now he’s got people just throwing money at him.
Last, but definitely not least, on the F100BCTWR is the House of Klynveld. We figure that if you judged the HoK based solely on the fact that it sponsors a golfer who can manage to keeps his pants on for five minutes, they dominate this list. Unfortch, Fortune takes additional variables into account out of respect for the process.
KPMG – Previously ranked #56. It’s great because, “[The] firm introduced a sabbatical program allowing employees to take leaves of four to 12 weeks at 20% of pay. Some 450 employees immediately signed up for it. Employees average 25 paid days off.” Thoughts?
Welcome back, servants of the capital markets. We’ll dispense with anything substantive this morning in order to help you combat the depression. We’ll start off by presenting you with the following:
As you can see, this is the POTUS on vacation working in Hawaii with the entourage in tow. One member of said entourage just happens to be donning a KPMG cap and since not just anyone can get their hands on these coveted lids — and since the gentleman’s face is mostly obscured — we’re curious about a few things: 1) Is Tim Flynn leaving the Radio Station for a cabinet position and if so, which one? 2) Was Phil Mickelson joining the Prez for some time on the links and had a overwhelming urge to represent? 3) If this is just some Obama yes-man, did he receive the cap from a Klynveldian representative and is this a bold move to get KPMG representation in the President’s inner circle?
If you’ve got thoughts, theories, or wild-ass guesses, dispense them in the comments and again, welcome back.
As we mentioned yesterday, Accenture is on the hunt for a new poster boy. While we speculated that poaching Phil from the House of Klynveld as a possibility for Accenture it’s more likely that the spotlight will be falling on Mickelson and his KPMG cap (black or white, depending on the mood).
Although Phil won’t be dancing on Tiger’s grave, Tim Flynn may have been quietly making the rounds at 345 Park high fiving anyone and everyone at work on the Monday after Tiger’s crash.
If you’ve got any thoughts on how TF celebrated (sweater vests for everyone!) discuss in the comments.
The possibilities are endless:
• Will they poach Phil* from KPMG?
• What about Natalie from RSM?
• Do they go in a different direction altogether and pick up Chuck Liddell?
• Becks?
T. Dubs’ tendency to screw anything with a pulse looks like it will benefit someone handsomely. Accenture can’t afford to go too long without a shill.
Let’s help them out. Vote below and discuss. Oh, and if the mood strikes you, throw a caption on this pic. You’ve go to wonder which trollop TW’s got on the brain wearing a grin like that.
*Over Tim Flynn’s dead body
*Although that sweater vest might be a nice gift for TF.
Doubtful! But with the news of sugarplums dancing in some Big 4 heads, we got to wondering if any of the offices of KPMG and PwC might reconsider the firm-wide kibosh on the Holiday jamma-lamma-ding-dong.
Maybe this would be a coup d’état of the highest order but we’ve heard of offices going rogue in the past, so it’s worth mentioning.
Perhaps we’re expecting too much but it seems possible that partners in your local offices could rally the troops by pooling together some of their own cash and springing for cheese trays a few kegs of Beast.
Partners, you wouldn’t necessarily have to let anyone use the bathroom (especially the new associates, we know how they overdo it). You could set up Rent-A-Johns in the driveway.
Because as it stands right now, it appears that Bob Moritz will only be handing out fresh undies, and Tim Flynn will argue that the Phil Mickelson sponsorship is the gift that keeps on giving. That may fly with some but certainly not all. Discuss your hopes for an eleventh hour fiesta in the comments.
It’s only three days until Halloween and most of you are probably procrastinating on costume ideas. Fortunately we’ve come up with an idea that will incorporate your profession/firm and maybe your love of golf.
Inspiring examples, after the jump
