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Rihanna Mistakes Her “Stupid” Accountant For Financial Wizard

Rihanna, sweetheart, I'm not sure accountant means what you think it means. Just because the poor fool can count doesn't mean he can perform miracles:

Rihanna says her accountant made so many boneheaded decisions that he blew her fortune and she was "effectively bankrupt" by the end of 2009.

The singer claims in new legal docs she had $11 MILLION in cash at the beginning of 2009.  Rihanna says the accountant was not on the ball and she was horrified to learn at the end of the year she had $2 million left. To make matters worse, her expenses doubled, which left her on a financial cliff.

As for how Rihanna blew through $9 million in one year … she says her accountant gave her the green light to buy a house priced between $7 and 7 1/2 million. So she took his advice. She ultimately sold the house for a $2 million LOSS.

Wait a second… HE blew her fortune? So if I have $11 in the bank and spend $9 of it, does that mean it's Bank of America's fault I can't even afford a Whopper?

Let's all facepalm at once, folks.