Mitt Romney's 2011 Tax Returns Reveal He's the Richest Unemployed Dude You've Ever Seen

OK, so the Romney campaign released the 2011 tax returns and frankly we here at GC HQ couldn't be happier that they did so on a Friday afternoon, thereby completely cockblocking our plans to be in a drunken coma by 7pm this evening. Thanks for nothing, jerks!

Consummate professionals that we are, however, we'll just pop a beer from the couch and dig into this stuff before those tools at the Journal manage to get their green eye shades on to analyze what America's richest unemployed dude makes his money on.

A few notable things stood out to me. Note: I am NOT a tax wonk. In fact, I couldn't punch my way out of a 1040 to save my life (I pay people for that). I'm counting on you guys to help me out here lest my brain explode, leaving you with absolutely no one to tell you what to wear on your first day of work and how to conquer COSO in BEC.

In 2011, the Romneys overpaid by $1,498,740. That's got to be a painful check for Tim Geithner to write.

Mitt Romney lists his occupation as "EXECUTIVE" which is funny because we all know he's really a professional presidential candidate and has been nothing but for what, 6 years? Maybe not the best title to use when one is being criticized for possibly holding onto an executive position with a sketchy firm long after he should have cut ties.

The Romneys claimed over $15,000 in medical expenses which seems high as hell even with a brood that could rival that of the Brady Bunch. Office visits are what, $40 a pop?

And of course, the number everyone loves to complain about: capital gains! The Romneys raked in $6,810,176 in 2011. Let's compare that to the whopping ZERO dollars the Romneys made in real income (you know, the stuff losers like you and I use to pay our rent and bills). Damnit, I knew I should have been an "EXECUTIVE" when I grew up instead of a writer.

The Romney family's itemized deductions came out to a big fat $4,681,842.

Oh, and for those who are all worked up over the Romneys' foreign income, they claimed $3,505,188 in gross income from various countries in 2011.

Now, here's the question: why did Romney only deduct $2.25 million of his $4 million in charitable donations, keeping his effective tax rate above 10%? His comment "I don't pay more than are legally due and frankly if I had paid more than are legally due I don't think I'd be qualified to become president. I'd think people would want me to follow the law and pay only what the tax code requires" might be relevant here although really, I'm not a rabid crazy out to discredit him as a taxpayer so, you know, maybe not. But really, if you were Mitt Romney, wouldn't you pay more than what was due knowing you were A) gonna run for president and B) people are broke and will get mad at you no matter how much you pay?

Frankly, I don't have the patience to slog through 379 pages of this stuff long after 5pm on a Friday (smart move, Romney campaign!) but if you have no plans tonight, by all means, knock yourself out.

Mitt and Ann Romney 2011 1040

Comments