• Career Center

    A Non-Exhaustive List of What You Should Be Doing Now That Busy Season is Over

    By | April 25, 2017

    Certain accounting publications which are not Going Concern have all kinds of suggestions for how you should be spending your life post-busy season, sadly the majority of said suggestions involve everything but decompressing from the worst months of your miserable life to date. Now is not the time for introspection. It is not the time to figure out how to milk clients for even more next time how to retain clients and provide even more exceptional client service next year. No. Now is the time to get back to you.

    So, since we’re such a helpful bunch, we’re offering a few suggestions for indulging in a little post-busy season self-care. If other publications can condescendingly tell you to spend a week thinking about all the things you could do better next busy season, so too can we say screw that.

    Get to Know Your Family Again

    spend time with the kids

    Hey, remember those tiny people who live in your house and kinda look like you? They’ve missed you. Now’s a good time to reacquaint yourself with those little booger-eating Cheeto-stained bastards. Take them to the park, sit down and watch Paw Patrol together, hell, make them some Kraft mac and cheese you absentee piece of crap.

    Pace Yourself

    Elf

    Listen, we get it, you’ve been cooped up for awhile. The last thing you need right now is to overdo it. As much as you may want to knock off every item on your to-do list over the next month, remember you are essentially a prisoner of war released back into the community. The last thing you need is a permanent ice cream headache from sucking down life too quickly. Slow down and give yourself permission to be a lazy lump on the couch, at least to the extent your schedule allows.

    Break Things

    office space printer

    While other accountants are reflecting on busy season gone-by and planning for next year, you’re gonna be smashing things. All the things. There’s no time like the present to “accidentally” throw that ugly vase your wife insists on keeping on the table through your back window. Note: we recommend you only smash things you own, no office computers or heads of annoying clients. Get thee to Goodwill, pick up a stack of ugly mismatched dishes and go to town.

    Take Up a Hobby

    vodka hobby

    Now is the perfect time to take up a nice relaxing hobby such as knitting, stamp-collecting, arguing with people on the Internet, or collecting dick pics on Craigslist. Whatever it is you’ve always wanted to do, there’s no time like the present to get started. If making even the slightest effort is too much work for you, there’s always drinking. Drinking is definitely a hobby. Which brings us to our next suggestion…

    Drink

    Parks and rec alcohol

    Seriously, what else were you going to do? Pickle that liver, sweetheart, it’ll all be OK.

    Nothing

    Nothing

    That’s right, absolutely nothing. Simply exist on the planet as a lump of meat in a skin suit. You don’t even have to remember to breathe in and out, that’s an entirely involuntary bodily function. Hell, get yourself some Depends and you don’t even have to get up to go to the bathroom, like that crazed astronaut who drove to Florida to kill some chick she thought was gonna steal her man. Doesn’t that sound like fun? Pants-crapping and only the bare minimum of bodily functions.

    Feel free to share how you’re spending this all-important post-busy season time.

    • Big4Veteran

      Going out to bid to replace our auditors. Also, eating macaroni & cheese and watching paw patrol with the kids.

      • sludgemonkey

        I think Chipman69 told me that the Really Sad Masturbaters were sharpening thier pencils this summer…just trying to help.

    • Michelle

      LOL, busy season doesn’t end anymore. NYC tax and still pulling down 50-60 hour weeks.

      • Smack That

        cool story, bro.

      • Biff Tannen

        Quit Tax before it becomes the only thing you can do. Look at book accounting gigs with private equity firms. It’s a plausible way out.

    • Reasonable Assurance

      Busy season is over? 4/30 deadlines don’t apply?

    • These are the harshly heartfelt pro-tips I’ve been missing in my life, haha. Glad you’re back, yo. /high five