• Big 4

    KPMG Planning a Training Center That Will Surpass Deloitte University in Ridiculousness

    By | December 8, 2016

    Here's a report out of the Orlando Sentinel that KPMG is considering Orlando as a site for a mega training facility and conference center. The location isn't so much of interest as is the fact that KPMG is planning a $430 million, 800,000 square-foot campus. If you're wondering if that's bigger than Deloitte University, the answer is — yes, it is.

    If you recall, DU aka Deloitte DisneyLand is 700,000+ square feet and cost a measley $300 million. Don't get me wrong, it's still a whale of a time, but I am impressed that KPMG — KPMG! — has plans to top them. Here are some details from the article:

    A spokesman for the firm, New York-based KPMG, confirmed that Orlando is a finalist for the center, which could bring 80 jobs with an average pay of $66,000. The firm says Dallas and Atlanta are also being considered.

    KPMG is seeking the 54-acre site for an 800,000-square-foot training and conference center and lodging facility for employees.

    Personally, I'm pulling for Dallas because it would put the new Kamp KPMG close enough to Deloitte Delta Chi so the two could engage in accounting firm prank wars.

    But ultimately, the location will be irrelevant. What's really important is how the new KPMG facility will surpass DU in its lavish accomodations. I just re-read this GC post from March 2015 on DU and it made me remember how ridiculous it all is. Food, booze, games, activities, exercise rooms, snacks, Starbucks carts, etc. etc. You better believe that KPMG will spare no expense to at least match it. Maybe Phil Mickelson stops by regularly? Maybe they'll have Omaha Steaks in the welcome gift bags? A bunch of people standing around just to give free hugs?

    It's all very exciting and the motive for investing nearly half a billion dollars is pretty obvious. A comment from the DU post sums it up well:

    As a Partner who has spent 3 decades at Deloitte and at Touche Ross, this is the greatest thing I have seen us invest in. I am in charge of recruiting at a school where we had the ability to bring the best and brightest who had offers but were undecided. After the visit, within 3 days we had 100% committed.

    The CEO's of the other big 4 firms wondered how our CEO got us to say yes. It was simple, this is the only place of its kind right now. The ROI in terms on talent is off the charts. We only have one asset at professional services firms, and if you want the best folks, you make the investment. Further, having DU means we will not stop training people in downturns. Having been with Deloitte over 30 years, I have seen this occur again and again. I proudly think this says a lot about our culture…Our partners are willing to invest $300 million of their capital in people. And yes, there are leaders at this facility constantly.

    Right, so now Deloitte will have some competition in this regard. Reactions, Klynveldians? This should be a cause for celebration.

    • Big4Veteran

      KPMG is going to have to come up with a lot more restatements to charge their new clients for.

    • Point and Clique

      Is there an embargo on the EY layoff news? I’m on about 6 shots of espresso right now so possible that I’ve just missed wherever it was posted…

      “After the visit, within 3 days we had 100% committed.”

      I mean, did this partner actually check up on whether they accepted? Whenever we buy food for “undecided” applicants and show them around, they also tell us they’re 100% committed, and it’s a very, very obvious nicety, so…

    • Derrick Rose

      so they drop a couple hundred million on a new facility that doesnt even have hookers, but scale back the cell phone reimbursements by $10?

    • The Horniest Partner

      Starting a pos tiny firm I never got to experience one of this bigger firms “training camps”. In fact I never got to enjoy any training at all. So how much sex goes on at these camps – new hire on new hire, manager on new hire, partner on manager, partner on new hire. I mean it’s got to be one big sex-o-rama right?

      • Sammy K

        Not at all. In fact, they know when someone doesn’t go back to their room at night.

        • guest

          There are enough cameras in the public areas at DU that the hookups weren’t as secret as people think.

          KPMG made staff share rooms, so you’d have a roommate who noticed if you never came back. At the manager level, whole different story. (New hires hook up with each other; everyone else mostly leaves them alone, as they aren’t yet known for having any discretion.)

          • Sammy K

            1) DU knows when you aren’t back in your room because they can tell by the room key. KPMG can’t even do that.
            2) It’s so unprofessional to require grown adults to share a room. PwC does it too and it’s bizarre.
            3) I’m on the DU faculty and if you are caught hooking up, you will be dismissed from DU permanently.
            4) Yes, there are cameras everywhere.

            • Big4Veteran

              Yeah, it’s so “unprofessional” of the firms to not allow grown adults to fuck around while they’re traveling on the company’s dime to get job training. LOL!

            • Sammy K

              Um….do you fuck you male roommate? LOL!

              That is so creepy – you actually go to these events with the intention of sleeping with your roommate. So while your male roommate is sleeping, you sit there jerking off?

              I mean my unprofessional comment pertained solely to sharing a room with a random person of the same gender. So did you not read it correctly or do you go into these situations hoping to see your roommate with their clothes off? Thank you for telling us you are a voyeur and a sexual pervert.

            • Randy Culpepper

              Surely even Big 4 firms realize that they don’t own their employees 24 hours a day.

            • iamthelolrus

              Not allowing them to fuck around, sure

              Making everyone share a room with someone like they’re still a freshman in college I think is a bit unprofessional

            • Reasonable Assurance

              100% agree on room sharing with a random is tacky and cheap.

    • Sammy K

      So sad that the best you can do is copy another firm 5 years after the fact. How about something original? Or better yet, how about actually having a decent firm?

    • anothercurrentkpmger

      If I wanted to go to summer camp for 2 weeks every summer, I would’ve picked Deloitte.

    • cpanum31

      Nice place for Partners and Managers to travel to on business during the Winter, on the expense account.

    • sludgemonkey

      Saw this PWC article recently, no reference to special rooms for breast pumping, so HorniestPartner is probably not a fan.

    • sludgemonkey
    • sludgemonkey

      Too hot in Orlando. Why not Cedar Rapids?

    • smishsmash

      Question: They going to have Chillers open up a location inside it?