~ Peter J. Henning, on Madoff and Stanford victims lobbying members of Congress for a law that would compensate them for some of their losses.

And we’ll just go on record to say that we aren’t on board for Marks to take over either. Forget about our constant griping about the pipe dream that is accounting rule convergence and how HM’s input won’t likely wouldn’t amount to squat. That’s not what’s important.

What’s important to remember is that the man cannot control his bodily functions. As you may recall, the ACFE named Markopolos as their Fraud Examiner of the year and he spoke at their big to-do in Vegas where he admitted that he regularly soiled himself while investigating Bernie Madoff. This is unacceptable.

Look, maybe this isn’t a big deal for some of you but if the man wants to be in the big chair he can’t be changing his undies every couple of hours when he’s trying to crack a big case. Do you think Mary Schapiro has drawer full of extra VS? NO. WAY. So before you jump on the Marks bandwagon for the next Chair of Enforcing the Financial Universe, let’s not forget that when he gets nervous, he’ll be extra unpleasant to be around.

Harry Markopolos, SEC Chairman? [WSJ]

So H&R Block, parent of RSM McGladrey, has decided that it will educate some of the fine residents in Spartanburg, South Carolina about the less dubious purposes of shredding financial information.

In order to increase awareness of the importance of being financially secure, H&R Block is hosting a Shred Day at Cleveland Village, 1564 Asheville Hwy in Spartanburg from 10am – 2pm on Saturday, March 20. The public is invited to attend to safely dispose of sensitive paper materials, learn about how to protect their ID, and find answers to any tax related questions.

We think this is fine idea on the part of H&RB although we foresee one problem. Since South Carolina has gone to great lengths to regulate “subversive organizations”, will this little demonstration of document destruction backfire? Will it allow the terrorists in the Palmetto state to destroy any and all evidence that would otherwise declare their intentions to overthrow the government? Is Glenn Beck aware that this being allowed to happen?

H&R Block Hosts Free Shred Day [Spartanburg News]

This pose was only good for 25th

What a relief. We were really concerned that we would get half way through March without hearing about a list of companies being good at something that included the Big 4. Fortunately, DiversityInc comes to our rescue today with their list of Top 50 Companies for Diversity for 2010.

Aaaand as you might expect, the Big 4 are all present and accounted for, although some firms may wish to be higher(?). How does one determine success on these lists? Just being on it? Making the top ten? Is it an honor just to participate in the survey?

Speaking of the survey, the website describes the methodology so you can get an idea of how this particular jumble falls together. The survey is broken down into four areas:

• CEO Commitment

• Human Capital

• Corporate and Organizational Communications

• Supplier Diversity

Digging further, we found more details:

The survey consists of more than 200 empirical questions (no subjective or qualitative information), which have predetermined weightings. Ratios between key factors, such as demographics of managers compared with managers who received promotions, play a significant factor in determining point scores. Companies must score above average in all four areas to earn a spot on the list. CEO Commitment is the most heavily weighted area because if a company lacks visible leadership, its diversity-management efforts will fail to be a priority.

SO! While this explains some things, it certainly brings up more questions. Since we spend the majority of our day perusing the web for every instance of Big 4 CEOs simply breaking wind, we’d like to think that any “CEO Commitment” as it relates to diversity would be noticed by us or our team of monkeys that work around the clock.

That being said, we’d be hard pressed to find a bigger diversity go-getter than Deloitte’s CEO Barry Salzberg. The man is tirelessly pursuing diversity at every waking moment. Even after Deloitte announced its freshly minted Chief Diversity Officer, Bar gave a speech earlier this week on as part of the DiversityInc festivities demonstrating that he’s still on this.

So then, our question is, how does Ernst & Young rank 5th, PwC 6th, KPMG 15th and Deloitte bring up the rear at 25th?

Perhaps the other firms display diversity fliers with their CEOs mugs on them to serve as constant reminder to all employees of the diversity in their firm but if CEO commitment is measured by MSM talking points, how does anyone beat Barry Salzberg? The only thing we can think of is there is some sort of secret anti-male pattern baldness bias at DiversityInc that quietly knocks Deloitte down the list. Sure Dennis Nally is slowly going Costanza there but Moritz in the tighty-whities probably made up for it.

So the efforts of Deloitte’s diversity commitment are rewarded but did they get the recognition they deserved?

The Unveiling of the 2010 DiversityInc Top 50 [DiversityInc]
The DiversityInc Top 50 Companies for Diversity [Full List]

This is not lost on the creators of Brightbook. They also realized that your lives are devoid of dinosaurs and topless cartoon girls:

We discovered this little treasure of online accounting by way of Dennis Howlett at AccMan. If you’re familiar with Dennis, then you won’t be surprised that he’s less than enthused with this particular effort, “Its appearance has all the allure I’d expect of something aimed at the Hannah Montana fans.”

Perhaps Dennis has a point but personally we think it has more a Grateful Dead feel to it. Girls in bikinis with hula-hoops? Dinosaurs in party hats? COME ON. Get a sheet and this will be the grooviest accounting you’ve ever done.

PLUS! Since the folks at Brightbook know that not all of you are into psychedelics, they also included the “Rabbit Hole” a “a fun and healthy distraction within Brightbook.” Obviously this can be enjoyed by anyone, not just those looking to expand their minds.

So whether you consistently go down the rabbit hole or not, Brightbook appears to be making the offer, even if it is in the financial reporting sense.

Put on your sunglasses: Brightbook [AccMan]

Earlier:
Capitalizing on the Idea that “Accounting Is Boring”

An ideal candidate will have a blend of both credit review and audit experience.

The position requires a minimum of five years experience, MBA, CPA or CFA is required and French language skills are a plus. Some travel is required to offices in San Francisco, Chicago, and Dallas/Houston.

Get more details on the position, located in New York, after the jump.

Company: BNP Paribas

Title: VP, Finance Activities Credit Review & Audit

Location: New York

Experience Required: 5 – 10 years

Description: BNP Paribas is seeking a candidate for a VP position in its North America Audit Group as a member of the credit review team to perform credit reviews and traditional audit aspects of these reviews.

Responsibilities: responsible for the audit and credit review coverage of all banking groups and related support areas including: Corporate Banking, Energy & Commodities, Media & Telecom, Merchant Banking, Asset Securitization, Security Industry, Portfolio Management and Risk Management.

Qualifications: Bachelor’s degree in Accounting or Finance; MBA, CPA (or equivalent), or CFA required; 5 – 10 years financial services work experience; Credit analysis skills with a solid understanding of the credit process and controls; French language skills a plus but not required

See the entire description over at the GC Career Center and visit the main page for all your job search needs.

Private equity firm Providence Equity Partners announced on Tuesday that it had hired Robert S. Hull, GMAC Financial Services’ chief financial officer.

Hull will join the firm, which specializes in media, entertainment, communications and information companies, as its CFO in early April. He succeeds Raymond Mathieu, who will become a managing director focused on special projects for the firm.

The 46-year-old Hull was CFO at GMAC since 2007. He was a member of the beleaguered lender’s executive committee and served briefly on its board of directors.

Previously, he held a series of finance positions at Bank of America from 2001 to 2007, most recently as chief financial officer of the company’s global wealth and investment management business.

GMAC has received $17 billion in government bailout funds and hasn’t recorded a quarterly profit since the fourth quarter of 2008. Indeed, it has lost money in nine of the last 10 quarters and lost over $10 billion in 2009.

Hull was paid $4.9 million last year.

The departure comes just two weeks after Hull had to testify before a Congressional Oversight Panel regarding the U.S. government’s assistance to GMAC under the Troubled Asset Relief Program.

In a report regarding Hull’s departure, Standard & Poor’s laid out GMAC’s many troubles, which include “resolving strategic considerations for several business lines, most notably the mortgage operation; executing its plans to diversify beyond providing auto-finance products and services to GM and Chrysler dealers and retail customers; and coping with a still-fragile economy.”

Given all those challenges, the rating agency concluded, “it is not surprising to see turnover at all levels of the institution.”

Perhaps that lack of surprise is why GMAC, for its part, didn’t even bother putting out a press release over the departure, opting to make only a two-sentence filing with the SEC:

“GMAC Financial Services today announced that Chief Financial Officer Robert S. Hull has elected to depart the company at the end of March to pursue another career opportunity. The company will conduct an internal and external search for potential CFO candidates in the interim.”

But because the timing is not lost on us, we reached out to a CPA who has been around the block a time or two for some tax advice as we approach the corporate filing deadline.

Mike Callahan is a tax director at Spicer Jeffries LLP in Greenwood Village, Colorado. Mike has been sharing his tax wisdom with clients for over thirteen years with an expertise in securities taxation, organizational structure and international taxation of investment partnerships. Mike has been involved in many areas of tax research and planning, including advising broker-dealers and hedge funds, international taxation, multi-state tax planning and compliance and estate and financial planning.

Mike will be paying us a visit with some tax advice or the next week or so as the we head down the stretch in tax season 2010.

Starting off, he gave us six strategies for small businesses that you can keep in mind for yourself or your clients throughout the year, just not for year-end planning:

• Consider a 401(k) safe harbor – If your pension contributions are limited because your employees don’t contribute much to their accounts, contributing 3% of your employees’ compensation to their accounts allows you to maximize your contributions.

• Retirement Plan Credit – Small employers are eligible for a credit of up to $500 for 50% of the administrative cost of setting up a retirement plan.

• Section 179 – Deduct (instead of depreciating) the cost of equipment and furniture on up to $134,000 of additions in 2010 ($250,000 in 2009) under Section 179.

• Hire your children since you give them money anyway – Of course they do have to actually work. Their tax bracket is probably less than yours, some of the income is tax free and they are eligible for traditional or Roth IRA contributions.

• Watch out for the alternative minimum tax (AMT) – It impacts more and more people each year. Tax projections by your CPA are a must! It may be beneficial to defer some deductions until next year instead of paying them this year.

• Work from home? – If your home office is your principal place of business for administration and management of your company, a portion of your rent, utilities, maintenance, etc… are deductible. This also helps reduce your self employment tax.

From: Sam E. Antar
Sent: Monday, March 08, 2010 11:02 PM
To: Patrick M. Byrne
Subject: Overstock.com Restatement
Importance: High

Hi Patrick:

Will you finally admit that I was correct when I reported in my blog that Overstock.com violated GAAP by using a phony gain contingency in light of the company’s recently announced restatement?

You owe me a public apology.

Regards,

Sam

Our understanding is that Pat hasn’t responded to Sam’s request for an apology yet (we’re hopeful!) so Team GC thought we’d offer some suggestions to Dr Byrne should he decide to take the high road and apologize to Sam. Having been in this situation more than once myself, I can honestly say sometimes you’ve just got to suck it up, buy some flowers, and admit that you’re an ass but totally repentant.

Overstock.com gift cards – Nothing says I’m sorry like free stuff that the aggrieved party can pick themselves. Bonus, the overhead on Byrne’s own inventory must be low. You know, because it’s his, not because there is any monkey business going down on OSTK’s financials.

An SEC Gift Shop Goodie Basket – I busted Sam in an SEC baseball hat at Stanford last week so wouldn’t it be cute if Byrne got him a whole basket full of fun regulatory shwag? Awww, what a precious moment it would be watching Sam pull out DoJ beer cozies and a color-changing SIGTARP coffee mug. Who doesn’t love tchotchkes? PB can’t go wrong! I’d even throw in a pair of NY Fed Pistol Team patches for that added touch of flair.

Cupcakes – Come on, no one can resist cupcakes, not even Sam E. Antar’s hardened criminal ass. You know, might as well send some to the GCHQ while he’s at it, we’ve been putting up with this Overstock shit for months too. Hopefully even Patrick Byrne knows when it comes to cupcakes, it’s best to invest in high quality, over-priced boutique cupcakes. Even my cheap ass knows that.

Earlier:
Winners and Losers in the Overstock Restatement
Even Earlier:
Is Patrick Byrne’s Facebook Friends List Motivated by a Farmville Obsession?

Sounds great, right? It’s my money, F the government, etc, etc. Well, the Tax Foundation is a little concerned because as the federal budget continues to grow, the income tax system becomes a less effective method of financing expenditures:

“[R]ecently released IRS data for the 2008 tax year show that a record 51.6 million filers had no income tax obligation. That means more than 36 percent of all Americans who filed a tax return for 2008 were nonpayers, raising serious doubts about the ability of the income tax system to continue funding the federal government’s ballooning expenditures.”

The Foundation concludes that if the trend of credits continues, the more people will get used to the idea that their refund from the Feds is annual windfall rather than an even greater inefficient government. “As the number of refundable tax credits continues to grow, more and more tax filers are seeing the IRS as a source of income, not something to which taxes are paid.”

• Eye Opener: Threats against IRS workers continue [Federal Eye/WaPo]
Despite so many people being “nonpayers” people still hate on the IRS, as we’ve covered. And actually, the IRS is okay with that. It’s expected:

“It would be a little naïve to think that we don’t get some threats over the course of doing business,” said IRS Communications Director Terry Lemons.

Perhaps it would be naïve but there seems to be shit going down every week. When does the ‘over the course of doing business’ become “day-to-day challenges that we deal with”?

• House Passes Chile Earthquake Donations Bill [Web CPA]
Yesterday, the House approved the extension of the deadline for donations made to victims of the earthquake in Chile, to considerable less fanfare than the Haiti bill from back in January. Presumably, Congress is under the impression that voters aren’t that concerned about what goes on in the southern hemisphere, thus the need for grandstanding on this issue isn’t needed.

The bill, sponsored by new Ways & Means Chair Sander Levin (D-MI) and Dave Camp (R-MI), would allow donations made through April 15, 2010 to be included on your 2009 tax return.

~ Researchers from the University of North Carolina, who concluded that an 18% tax on pizza and soda could help adults lose an average of 5 pounds a year.

Who wants to work for this hair?

Brian Moynihan is shopping around for a CFO and he needs a good one ASAP. The Post reports that Moynihan will go with someone from outside BofA so that means you’ve got a shot! Now before you get ahead of yourself and think you’re the BSD to turn this ship around, consider some of your responsibilities.

You’ve got to be the numbers jockey for the biggest bank in the known universe that is constantly being given the stink-eye by Tim Geithner, Barack Obama, Ken Feinberg, et al., plus an angry American populous that will not hesitate to call you names and picket your house. Oh, and you may or may not have to move to Charlotte. Maybe that’s not a sticking point for some of you but if you don’t like NASCAR then we’d suggest passing on this one.

See? Trying to come up with a good and willing candidate will not be an easy task. After all, getting someone to takeKen Lewis’ chair wasn’t exactly a piece of cake and CFO is actually a real job.

Naturally, soon-to-be former KPMG Chairman Tim Flynn comes to mind but Moynihan may want to go with some with a little less sweater vesty and he doesn’t really have the mane to match. Former Lehman CFO Erin Callan is busy hanging out with firefighters and Andy Fastow is still unavailable. Better put a call in to Robert Half.

Serious search party [NYP]
Earlier:
Ex-Bank of America CFO Is in Cuomo’s Crosshairs

So it turned out to be personal items. That could be anything and it sounds a little silly to blow the package up to find out that it’s filled with undies and socks (although we understand the paranoia).

This is the second false alarm for an IRS facility in Utah in less than two weeks. Last Monday Hazmat crews and the FBI showed up at the Ogden facility after someone found some baking powder and people started having seizures.

Whoever is behind these false alarms is probably having a good laugh about the whole thing. It could be the ghost of Joseph Stack for all we know. Then again, his Facebook group keeps growing so perhaps that’s a good place to start.

Describe this man in 140 characters or less

We hope! Our speculation is fueled by a line from SC’s most recent post:

“Because I’ve heard it said that brevity is not my strong suit, I will try to explain it in 50 words.”

Whether Steve-o realizes it or not, at 50 words, he still needs to improve his brevity. But it’s a start and we’re hoping that he’ll get eventually embrace Twitter. We’re envisioning pithy Tweets followed by clever hashtags like #GTrocks or #Big4sucks or #isecretlyheartsuesachdeva.

The fact the whole brevity topic came up makes us curious. We only made mention of it once, ages ago, so we’re certain that he isn’t referring to our commentary (which we’re sure he reads religiously).

Anyhoo, Even-Stephen was referring to the difference between the Grant Thornton Senior Leadership Team and the Partnership Board. Disappointing everyone, he ended up using 51 words and 258 characters:

The SLT is the equivalent of executive management, and the Partnership Board is the governing body of the firm. The SLT is appointed by the CEO and approved by the PB. The CEO is appointed by the PB. The SLT reports to the CEO, and the CEO reports to the PB.

That’s followed up by Stephen getting back to his windy ways, describing what every member of the SLT does (you can get the gist from their titles).

So while we’re encouraged by Chip’s effort at getting to the point, he still has some work to do. Just sign up and go for it man. Plus we’d be interested to know who Steve-o would follow. Going Concern is a given but does he go intellectual and follow Taleb and Roubini? Or slum it with the rubes and follow Kim Kardashian, Courtney Love and Kanye?

Stephen, just get on Twitter.

In-house accountants manage the drudgery of transaction processing. But most accounting in big multinationals is now automated via the ERPs – SAP, Oracle, PeopleSoft, with still a heavy dose of Microsoft Excel. They also use Cognos, Hyperion, Business Objects, SAS and others to combine, extract, re-order, consolidate and roll up numbers from all over the world.

The hands-on accountants in today’s companies probably graduated during the last ten years. Some of them spent a few years in a public accounting firm. They grew up with technology.

Professor Steven Hornik, who blogs and teaches at the University of Central Florida told me how he currently manages very large lectures and the multimedia expctations of today’s accounting students:

“My classes regularly approach 1000 students. Because of that I have introduced many tools to, as best I can, [to] keep students engaged. Some of the tools are by necessity – Camatasia and Jing to create videos for mass distribution.

I use a web-based, agnostic IM client to communicate (Meebo) and an online homework manager system for assigning and grading HW (MyAccountingLab). These have all made my life easier. I also require rather time consuming elements and those are supported with TA’s. I actively use Second Life and a Concept Mapping program.”

Makes me dizzy just reading it. Is it any wonder that today’s accountants are highly dependent on tools, software and pre-configured reports and templates to do what I used to do by hand?

Modern ERP systems come with pre-configured transaction templates. The responsibility for set-up and maintenance of these systems is frequently abdicated to IT. Many “accountants” have lost (or never learned) the fundamentals of general ledger accounting and the financial close process.

My education in hands-on accounting came as the general ledger manager at a NYSE-listed industrial distributor. There, fortunately, one of my staff was an obsessive-compulsive named “Cliff” who knew his way around a three-hole punch. We had closing checklists, system interface tie-out templates, and rotating balance sheet account reconciliation assignments. Each month I reviewed and approved every single manually prepared journal entry. There were paper forms and all debits and credits were written out and assigned to the correct account numbers. Each entry was then keypunched into the system.

The closing schedule had daily JV assignments, based the availability of automated transaction interfaces from A/P, A/R and payroll, for example. A report was run nightly to balance keypunched batch tallies to what posted in the system, including resolving errors due to invalid accounts or dates.

Our IT liaison was a quiet guy who sometimes ran the wrong tape, such as the interface from the prior month. The GL “Controller”, a rotating honorary position, checked and rechecked every day for every interface and keypunch batch posted to make sure we got what we were expecting.

I reviewed daily draft financial statements, performed quick analytics, wrote notes to the staff about particular entries and advised the Controller of progress. At the end of the close, “Cliff” put all back up into a three-ring binder behind the completed, initialed and dated closing checklist. It deeply satisfied him to add another black, double-wide binder to his shelves, in reverse chronological order, with a white Dynamo label indicating the month, year and that month’s GL Controller name.

I don’t envy today’s professors trying to teach the old-fashioned accounting skills in the electronic environment – closing checklists, regular balance sheet reconciliations, journal entry sign-offs, backup documentation requirements, managerial review of financial statements, and proper reviews and approvals of estimates and analytics. These are the Sarbanes-Oxley and the best practice basics.

Or maybe they don’t teach these skills? It’s a shame if not, because there’s a beauty, symmetry and tranquility in knowing that the numbers are right.