June 18, 2018

Rest Assured, Seekers of Illicit Love, Ernst & Young Has Your Back

ernst & young report ashley madison

Back in 2015, the popular adulterer website Ashley Madison made news when hackers leaked the personal details of its millions of users. At that time, one of the things we learned about the site was that, not only did the number of male users greatly outnumber the number of females, the females were bots or prostitutes. The whole situation inspired a multitude of think pieces, hot takes, self-righteous finger-wagging, defensive rebuttals to that finger-wagging, as well as widespread embarrassment for the users who were busted.

Now, I do not recall reading or seeing a public demand for assurances of the actual number of potential paramours for wannabe adulterers. However, it is possible that somewhere in the preposterous abyss of the internet, this piece of writing exists. If you are aware of it then, please, by all means, send me the 5,000+ word treatise on this consequential topic because I am keen to read it.

Anyhoo, the reason I bring all this up is that Ashley Madison’s new owner has gone above and beyond what I think the vast majority of people would expect from an adultery website: They hired a Big 4 firm to check the numbers.

Via the New York Post:

[W]hile past estimates of the number of women users turned out to be false due to the dominance of bots posing as humans, Ashley Madison execs recently hired a Big Four accounting firm to review its stats.

The latest data received the once-over by Ernst & Young, according to a report due out Thursday, and the number-crunchers verified the number of wannabe adulterers climbing aboard — or an average clip of 15,542 per day.

“[This] was the first step in communicating to our members and potential members that we had listened to them, and were now dedicated to being what we’ve always been — the leader in the married-dating space,” said Paul Keable, vice president of communications for Ruby Life, the site’s new corporate parent.

Engadget reported that EY “[showed] 5.7 million new accounts on the site in 2017 and a ratio of 1.13 active females for every active male on the site,” and “that the bots are gone.”

There you have it. Ernst & Young stamped its approval on a pool of potentials hook-ups for adulterers. Weird, huh?

[NYP, Engadget]

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Apparently $2 Mil Is Enough to Keep Deloitte in Dallas

DTa.jpgEarlier this year, the Deloitte Dallas and Irving offices were ready to copulate and move the combined digs to Irving. Apparently this was going to save the two offices bookoo dollars.
Problem for the City of Dallas is that if a big shot spendy tenant like Deloitte bolts, Dallas’s Central Business District would not be good, especially since the vacancy rate is already high. The City pondered this and came to the conclusion that offering Deloitte a $2 Million “economic development grant” should convince them that moving to Irving is the WORST IDEA EVER.
More, after the jump


Not quite sure what Deloitte will do with that money (our suggestion is for more donut giveaways) but here’s the back scratching they’ll do for the City, according to the Dallas Observer:

Subject to City Council approval of the proposed economic development grant, Deloitte LLP has agreed to execute a 10-year lease extension at 2200 Ross Avenue (Chase Tower) beginning 2011 and will:
•Commit to maintain a minimum of 1,111 jobs at this location
•Ensure approximately $19.9 million is invested for tenant improvements

So it looks like Deloitte is down for this but we’re not exactly sure how they came up with 1,111 for the minimum number of jobs. At the very least, it’s kind of a cool looking number.
Regardless of the figures, we doubt that Deloitte would be taking the $2 mil if wasn’t going to be a good deal for them. So greasing Deloitte to keep them in Dallas seems to be a good deal since, “[the City of Dallas] believes the $2 million investment will yield $31 million in ‘net city fiscal impact.'”. So, yeah. Not too shabby.
However, we’re guessing that more than a few people in Irving that might be a little bent out of shape about this, so if you’ve got any more information on this deal, let us know.
When Deloitte Did the Math, It Needed $2 Mil From Dallas, Or Else It Was Going to Irving [Dallas Observer]

PwC’s New Investigation Will Invite Terrible Bovine Jokes

cattle.jpgPwC has investigators all up in their grills again as another audit is going to be subject to an investigation. This time a sub-prime lender in the UK, Cattles.
Cattles is blaming the whole shitshow on a “breakdown in internal controls”, which has been the standard PR sound bite since before Enron.

The Accountancy and Actuarial Discipline Board (AADB), which regulates the profession, announced the inquiry on Thursday.The board, part of the Financial Reporting Council, said it would examine the conduct of PwC and its individual auditors concerning the preparation of financial statements of Cattles and Welcome Financial Services, its subsidiary, for the year ended December 31 2007 and for the six months ended June 30 2008.

According to one analyst referenced in FT Alphaville, Cattles was letting loans go 240 days delinquent before taking any impairment charges. Apparently PwC was okay with that practice.
And since the AADB is going to be looking at “individual auditor conduct”, what are they going to discover? Besides the partner and manager’s daily fat-cat lunches, obv. We invite your thoughts.
We’ve also got the feeling that this might be the type of engagement where you could include a high-def photo of the manager dry-humping the partner’s leg (wearing a leash and spiked collar, natch) as part of the audit workpapers and it would get signed off on anyway. But, like we said, it’s just a feeling.
UK watchdog opens probe into PwC audit of Cattles [Reuters]
Regulator probes PwC over Cattles audit [FT.com]

No Comments

  1. I suspect the real numbers are under 15,000 if you remove the 300 or so duplicate hits from Ron Burgundy

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