• Career Opportunities: Mail Away Accounting Degrees

    By | April 1, 2013

    Loblaw note: this is one of those sponsored posts that no one reads. 

    In this day and age, no one has time to study. So that's why you should just cough up a few bucks and use your life experience to earn your advanced degree.

    That's right. Surviving high school alone is a feat and then you were driving around your grandparents' old Buick and that's worth a few points too amiright?

    Instead of spending tens of thousands of dollars on a "traditional" education, why not apply a couple thousand and your extensive life experience to achieve the degree you desire?

    PhD? Why bother! That's just a few extra bucks and maybe like a year or two of experience living on your own as a grown up, no biggie. We'll figure it out. That's our job.

    We don't have a basketball team but like you care. Just give us a few dollars and you'll be applying to the top Accounting firms in the country in no time!

    Big 8 will be bending over backwards to get you with you're new credential. Studies show 18 out of 19 employers prefer to hire an Accountant with a valid degree from a licensed educational institution. And 25 of the top 30 employers in the country employ employees with advanced degrees. Of these, none called to verify the school listed on candidates' resumes actually exists.

    So email The University of the United States Bermuda United States today to discuss your career options. Please email us at the new Yahoo address set up after we were banned on Hotmail. The FTC has banned us from linking to our esteemed establishment in blog posts so please Google us today and let's talk about you're future!

    • $43517978

      What’s wrong with this website today? The posts are actually funny.

      Colin must have gotten some hot co-ed ass on his vacation last week.

      • Amanda Jamitinya

        And yet you are still as annoying as ever.

      • Robert Palmer

        Can you please explain your avatar? I find it amusing (if there is a story).

        • $43517978

          Sorry, no interesting story there. It’s just a self-portrait. Thanks for making fun of the way I look though. Where’s your photo?

          • Robert Palmer

            Trying to find one. I was wondering if yours was symbolic of some person who was killed in the mid-evil stages for saying that the earth goes around the sun or something (similar to how you are routinely lambasted for sensical thoughts).

            • anonyman

              a/s/l/pic?

            • Robert Palmer

              I don’ know what a/s/l means.

            • Palmer Banging Big4Vet

              the fat ass has no sensical thoughts, he is just a fat ass.

        • Luca Pacioli

          Some old dead guy

    • Guest

      This degree is still more valuable than one from the Keller Graduate School of Management at Devry University.

    • Sad thing is that for some majors, the Ph.D would actually be no better than this sham degree, lol.

    • UofB English Dept.

      You’re was improperly used twice

      • Captain Obvious

        On purpose, perhaps? This is a five star university after all.

    • Rtruth12

      Yeah nobody verifies the school exists. Look at Akeem in Coming to America. He told Lisa McDowell that he attends the University of the United States. And she bought it!