Intern: If I don’t get an offer I’m gonna throw a brick through your window
Partner: Better get that brick ready

Not an intern story but greatest comment ever – Commenter #83 at ATL…legendary.
Alright, check this out:
I had about 38 beers (it was an accident) the night before a callback interview. I showed up extremely hungover and trying to hide the booze smell. Nobody said anything or even acted like anything was amiss, so it was all good.
We went out for callback lunch, and I felt a hangover fart brewing in my guts, the likes of which would probably never again be seen in the Midwest. I have much skill in this area, so I discreetly lifted a buttcheek to let it go, figuring I could blame it on the waitress or another diner if it came down to it (the restaurant was crowded).
Well, I underestimated not only the force behind the fart, but the volume and contents as well. I liquishit in my pants. I panicked, but must have maintained my cool because the associates I was eating with didn’t seem to act any differently, although I knew there was a spreading brown stain on the back of my $400.00 slacks.
I did the only thing I could think of to do, which was to calmaly sit in my own poop and finish the meal as though nothing were wrong. When it came time to walk back to the office, I awkwardly made an excuse for having to catch back up with them there, then made my way out about 10 minutes after they left.
In a strange town and in a panic, reeking like hangover poop, I walked into the nearest clothing store I could find (a fucking Banana Republic) and purchased the nearest facsimile I could find to the shit-filled pants I was wearing. I thanked the cashier who was making disgusted faces, grabbed my bag, and split out of there.
I was somewhat lost due to having to walk to the Banana Republic, and the only way I knew how to get back to the firm was to hop on the train I had taken to get there, so I did. I rushed to the bathroom of the train and removed my soiled pants and underwear, balling them up and tossing them out the window of the bathroom on the train car. I reached in the bag for my new pants and pulled out… a pink cashmere sweater. I must have grabbed the wrong bag in my haste! I got out at the next stop wearing a frilly pink cashmere sweater as pants, and sat down on the curb to beg for change. Where I remain to this day.

WTF is a flashlight?

@3 – “liquishit” is my new word of the week – thank you!
Everyone else – aren’t interns these days just the dumbest bunch of turds ever? In this economy, we have one that strolls in at 10:30, chats on the phone ALL DAY, and then leaves at abou 4. Or maybe she actually doesn’t expect an offer? No work product out of her in the last 6 weeks, and counting…

hey caleb, are you by any chance related to an equally-talentless self-proclaimed blogger named “greg”?

I had an intern cite wikipedia in a memo. no joke.

@5
you mean fleshlight??

@9, 12
Please, what Caleb writes is infinitely more interesting than what Greg does. And considering Caleb’s subject matter must relate to accounting… that’s saying quite a bit.